Where do I go from here?

[Babyaln]

My ex and I broke up after two years. He dumped me due to the amount of stress he was under and wanted to focus on himself. We had been fighting a lot towards the end, but I did everything I could to be a good girlfriend. At first, I was crying so hard and begged. I started NC afterwards and then he slowly started initiated contact by calling/texting, asking how I was, etc. He does it every two days and when we spoke today I told him I miss him. He said “idk.” I told him I still love him and he just said we are not together right now. I want to be with him, but I hate these mixed signals. What do I do? NC? Ignore him? I feel like it gives me false hope talking to him. I want to make it work though.

[Mikey383]

Go NC...Quit begging...Save your self worth...He walked out....Let him beg to come back....If he comes back, make sure its for the right reasons as sometimes they come back cuz they are lonely....not for love, but for the attention and easy sex, until they find someone better...they hold you back from healing and moving on....Happened to me, so he careful....

[Jillstrand23]

You are going to have to realize that you can't change people, if he wants space give it to him, that's the best you can do

[Babyaln]

Do you think there is hope?

[Jillstrand23]

You have false hope, get everything off your chest, by any means tell him how you feel but then walk away and turn your face to the bright sun where all happiness resides, or do something to make yourself happy!

[Babyaln]

You have false hope, get everything off your chest, by any means tell him how you feel but then walk away and turn your face to the bright sun where all happiness resides, or do something to make yourself happy!

 

What makes you think it’s false hope? Especially since he still initiates contact.

[Jillstrand23]

Maybe he contact s you so he doesn't feel the guilt of leaving.

[Keyman]

He intiates contact but still says you are not together right now. This is keeping you on a chain because he knows you still want to be with him. You are giving him all the power and are just leaping at every contact in case he decides this week to come back.

 

Only way out of this is to go full NC and ignore/block him. You are vulnerable to him and need to be away fully. Sure, he might come back eventually, but you cannot hang onto this slim hope. If you must, tell him straight up next time he contacts, to leave you alone. Unless he wants to get back together, you don't want to hear from him.

 

Then once you are NC, start working on yourself and getting to know yourself again. Get your strength back and slowly find your power in yourself again.

[Babyaln]

He intiates contact but still says you are not together right now. This is keeping you on a chain because he knows you still want to be with him. You are giving him all the power and are just leaping at every contact in case he decides this week to come back.

 

Only way out of this is to go full NC and ignore/block him. You are vulnerable to him and need to be away fully. Sure, he might come back eventually, but you cannot hang onto this slim hope. If you must, tell him straight up next time he contacts, to leave you alone. Unless he wants to get back together, you don't want to hear from him.

 

Then once you are NC, start working on yourself and getting to know yourself again. Get your strength back and slowly find your power in yourself again.

 

Right, I feel powerless at this point. It is hard because knowing him, if he truly no longer wanted this, he would just outrightly say so. Instead, he just says that we are not together and still initiates contact from time to time. He knows I want to be with him. Is NC truly the best route?

[Not Thinking]

It is hard to go NC when they keep reaching out to you. I would love to hear from my ex-girlfriend but I don't think I will...sigh. In the mean time I focus on myself and trying to get my strength back. Let him know you don't like the terms of the relationship and start the NC. Tell'em if he wants to work on the relationship to reach out and you guys can go from there. However, he needs to know you are not interested in all the other stuff and need to focus on yourself.

[Babyaln]

Do you think he is going to reach out again? I initiated our last conversation where I admitted I missed him.

[Not Thinking]

Do you think he is going to reach out again? I initiated our last conversation where I admitted I missed him.

 

That is a tough question to answer but in my experience they ALWAYS reach out. Bottom line is he knows he has you. This person has all your strength and has your power. TAKE IT BACK!! You can’t control another person but make damn sure they can’t control you either. A fiend of mine always said to, “fake it till you make it”. State what you want if he is not cool with that you WALK!