Dealing with lonliness

[Ozone]

Any advice would be greatly appreciate.

 

I suffer from this terrible emptiness inside. "The void" as I call it. I've been trying to deal with it but idk I just can't. I've turned to drugs to help fill this void and I guess they help some but im just damaging my body. I feel so worthless because I cant stop using drugs even if I want to. I think what I really need in life is someone to love me, someone I can open up to. Someone who can help me but I just dont see that happening though im far from an acctractive person and I have accepted this and it really doesnt bother me anymore. I mean none of my friends really really know me. I have never came out and opened myself up to anyone. But I am very caring there have been 2 girls in my life that I would have done absolutely anything for. I still would actually. But i never told either of them how I felt.

 

Any advice on how to deal with the void? Im just so empty inside.

[lonelyangel]

hey i know exactlyhow u feel.. the void..... the constant sadness but i think u need to take an outside look of ur situation and see if taking drugs and being dejected is really how things should be? .... and in order for u to overcomeur lonelines u need to start opening up 2 people show people ur real colours.... stop hiding and u'dbe surprise to see some of those friends u have may be able to relate and understandand even help u get through this.... as for the two girls if u really would do anything 4 them letvthem know.....u havenothing to lose.. when ur honest to ursaelf and everybody else i'm sure u'll see a change in everything i hope this was helpful

[Ozone]

thx

[abcd1234]

Show love and caring for other people and they will do the same for you. If you feel like opening up to someone then go ahead and get whatever is bothering you off of your chest, you have already taken the first step in the right direction by coming here and letting us know how you feel. When you start to feel lonely you haver to find soemthing to do that will take your mind off it (and i dont mean drugs), call up a friend and hang out or go out and have fun with someone!

 

By opening up to others they will get to see another side of you and love you for who you are.

[Ozone]

Well music is my passion. And I try to get my mind of things by working on lyrics and music. But the songs I write are about how I feel and and just makes me feel ever worse sometimes.

[newdawn812]

Hi Ozone,

 

I always used to feel this way and for a while i turned to religion which helped a little, and then made things worse. My empty feeling progressed until it was stomach pain like an ulcer. I am now on a low dose of anti-anxiety meds and these have helped a lot. I also do a lot of things I like, a lot of reading and stuff and this helps. Most of the time I feel fine, so I would really recommend you see your doctor. You don't need to feel crappy.

 

Hope this helps!

[newdawn812]

and just wondering....why didn't you let those girls know how you felt?

[Ozone]

Hi Ozone,

 

I always used to feel this way and for a while i turned to religion which helped a little, and then made things worse. My empty feeling progressed until it was stomach pain like an ulcer. I am now on a low dose of anti-anxiety meds and these have helped a lot. I also do a lot of things I like, a lot of reading and stuff and this helps. Most of the time I feel fine, so I would really recommend you see your doctor. You don't need to feel crappy.

 

Hope this helps!

 

Will the doctor laugh at me when he sees how patheic I am?

[Ozone]

and just wondering....why didn't you let those girls know how you felt?

 

Because I was afraid.

[newdawn812]

If your doctor laughs i will come over and punch him/her in the head.

 

No, actually depression and axxiety are extremely common. These are medical conditions. Doctors are there to help. I mean, depression can lead to suicide, so it is a serious thing. You are not at fault and you can't just snap out of it. Believe me, i suffered for years. The only reason i went to the doctor was because my stomach hurt so bad! I thought it was an ulcer. It was anxiety.

 

A lot of people don't get help and that's a shame. I mean the pills don't make everything perfect , but they make you feel better while you deal with stuff. I personally was in therapy for a while, which helped some. I also look at books like "The Feeling Good Handbook" when I feel bad. I usually feel anxious/panicky as opposed to sad. These books really help you see what's going on in your mind, why you feel so bad. I can't recommend them enough.

 

It is too bad you were afraid to let the girls know...but maybe you can still tell them? Or eventually someone else? Don't put yourself down for not telling them though. You are doing the best you can. I hope you feel better soon.

[cassandra]

Will the doctor laugh at me when he sees how patheic I am?

 

Your Doctor is there to help not to pass judgement. You'd probly be quiet surprised at how often they would deal with these type of problems.

[jake1212]

Hey...

 

I'm going to suggest something. But you have to promise to give it a shot before you turn down this idea. Ready? Go to a hospital... a church... a local school in a lower income area... an old people's home... and volunteer.

 

Just for a weekend, at first.

 

Then more, if it seemed to help you a little. Even better, call Habitat for Humanity or one of those places where the volunteer duties involve a little sweat and muscle ache.

 

Not for purely altruistic reasons, mind you. Though that's good. But for this reason too: The void you feel is probably, I'm guessing, not a void at all... am I right? What I mean is, it's packed full of something. Those somethings tend to be echoing doubts, unanswered questions, a little fear and waning self-confidence...

 

It's not truly the black, cold, empty well. But the fear of what lurks inside the well. That's where you start feeling awful. Because when you're alone (lonely), you can't help but sift through all those feelings of personal doubt. About your own worth. About what you believe in. About where your life is going. About the quality or intentions of your friends. About opportunities lost.

 

I don't say all that to make you feel any worse, but more to show you what -- at least for some people, me included at one time -- what the real monster is you're facing.

 

The drugs are probably not the real issue either. They're just a distraction. I'm guessing you actually could quit them if you wanted to. You don't sound (and I know I'm making a pretty big assumption here, simply because I don't know much about you from your post) like someone who is a shallow addict, on drugs out of vacuous boredom.

 

You sound like somene who wants something better and just hasn't made or feels he/she can't make the jump to do it. In other words, there's hope for you yet!

 

Going back to the beginning though, here's why I suggest the volunteering. Simply put, the absolutely worst thing to do when you're feeling lonely or full of doubts... is give yourself too much time alone with your doubts. Seriously.

 

How many times have you felt awful, forgotten, unloved... then the phone rings and it's someone with plans for something to do... or you call someone and suddenly find, to your surprise, there's something to do... and the distraction alone instantly transform you, at least for those moments, into a happier more purposeful person?

 

Maybe it happens for you like this less and less, the unhappier you get. Because people tend to move away from unhappiness. But remember back to better times. I'm sure there were moments when reconnecting with the world helped draw you out and make you feel better in ways that surprised you.

 

And in those moments, where you're with others doing somehting else, you find you have much less time to mull over those things that depress you when you're alone. They start to seem insignificant. Or even inaccurate and false.

 

Well this good feeling of being away again is compounded when you're not only with other people but when you're doing something to help someone ELSE get through their day in a better way.

 

It's like sharks. Do you know anything about sharks? They have to swim, even when they're sleeping, if they want to breathe. They can't stop. If they stop, they suffocate.

 

People are like that too. Only, it's not about moving to get in oxygen. It's about moving toward something to feel worthwhile, whole, real. If you're not building or creating or changing the world, as a human, you're suffocating.

 

Right now, you sound like someone to me who's just now starting to get short of breath... not suffocating, but stopped still a little too long. But if you can get out there, and get moving again... even if you're a little listless or frightened by it at first... you will be shocked at how you're suddenly transformed. It's almost instant. And it's nearly painless too, save from the work you'll do to help someone. But even with that, the ache of muscles the next morning is a renewal all in itself.

 

Best of luck. I hope you'll give it a try! (P.S. Doing something with kids is especially rewarding, because they're judgment free and their appreciation/affection for you after you help them is as genuine as it gets!)