Does he like me? Should I tell him?

[lizzyborden]

So... It's probably a long story, so my bad up-front.

This guy got hired in my department back in late April. We didn't talk much for the first few weeks due to my kind of stand-offish personality towards new people. Me being there for a while and knowing the ropes, he came to me for a lot of questions. He. himself, was a bit stand-offish too. He told me once that didn't want to make any friends. Eventually, one night we just started talking. And we talked. A lot. And one night, we were closing and just started talking about personal stuff, which is unlike me, because I'm not a super open person. I told him about my mom dying this past November and my suicide attempt the same week he got hired. And part of the reason, we came to realize, that we were so stand-offish with each other was because we both were going through a rough patch. And we ended up becoming close. We talked all the time and we hung out on breaks and if we were closing, we would hang out after work too. But only in our cars and we would have these deep conversations. We learned each other's favorite foods and every time we closed together, we bought each other candy. And whenever one of us was upset, we would sit in our cars on break, eat candy, and talk. He was always super protective and always made sure I was okay. We would always stand close to each other and we would purposely touch arms or bump into each other while we were working and he would just look at me and smile. And if I was upset with him, he'd get super upset and apologize and stuff. He always knew when not to push. He ended up transferring to a store closer to his house and we talked only when he would come in as a customer or if I texted him. If he ever thought I was upset with him, I'd always see him like the next day at the store and he'd always check up on me and make sure I was okay. One night, I was upset and told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore. Mostly cause I constantly want to tell him how I feel and how much I like him, but I'm scared he doesn't like me. So, he never replies and the next night he shows up, but he's with a girl and she's staring at me the whole time. She's got her arms around him and the whole time he had his back towards me. He wouldn't talk to me and made a point to talk to everyone else. So, a couple days later, I went to his store to grab some fruit for my sister and I ran into an old guy friend and we were talking and laughing and he hugged me a bunch and I realized that he was at work and I tried not to look over and I saw he kept looking over at me. I walked a few feet away for a minute and he walks past but doesn't say anything. A couple minutes later, he walks past again but I had my back to him. I saw him look at me out of the corner of his eye. So, he starts talking to the guy in produce, really loudly and the guy in produce wasn't even looking up when he started talking to him so it was a little awkward. But he went back to his department but you could tell by his face and his body language that he was upset and I know he still kept looking at me when he thought I wasn't looking. And it's really weird. Like, I used to think he liked me but now it's seems like some petty argument ever since I told him I didn't want to talk to him. Like he's purposely trying to make me upset. I want to apologize and tell him I like him and that I only pushed him away because I was scared of rejction, but I'm still scared he doesn't like me as anything more than just like a good friend. And I don't know why he's being so passive-aggressive with me since the text.

[willdation]

If you ever tell a guy that you do not want to talk to him anymore, this is most likely the response you will get. Just negativity and awkwardness. At least he is not blowing up your phone... It does not matter what you are thinking and that you are scared, a guy most likely will never be able to connect those dots.... Now he is not talking with you and looks like he is moving on with someone else....I would not have expected anything else to be honest...

 

The only chance you have to have a relationship with him would be to be straight-forward. Just be like - "Hey. I just wanted to say sorry for what I said the other day....To be honest, it was because I was starting to have feelings and was a bit scared..."

[lizzyborden]

If you ever tell a guy that you do not want to talk to him anymore, this is most likely the response you will get. Just negativity and awkwardness. At least he is not blowing up your phone... It does not matter what you are thinking and that you are scared, a guy most likely will never be able to connect those dots.... Now he is not talking with you and looks like he is moving on with someone else....I would not have expected anything else to be honest...

 

The only chance you have to have a relationship with him would be to be straight-forward. Just be like - "Hey. I just wanted to say sorry for what I said the other day....To be honest, it was because I was starting to have feelings and was a bit scared..."

 

The time between the text and when I saw him was less than 24 hours, though. That's where it seems staged, ya' know?

[butterfly45]

Why are you getting upset with him all the time? That kind of thing can push people away rapidly. It does sound like a bit of a petty 'play hard to get' situation between the two of you. You might as well tell him how you feel and try to stop pushing him away.

[nuttybuddy]

It doesn’t matter what the time frame was between the text and when you saw him. You’re analyzing if he’s staged the showing up with the girl to make you jealous? You need to get out of your own head. Stop creating so much drama! Fact is fact. You hurt him first. If he tried to hurt you back by being seen with another girl, you should take that as having deserved it. But in his mind he could be trying to figure out if you care about him at all since you did not want to talk to him and you should not care whether he’s with a girl or not.

 

Just be REAL. You’re so busy trying to protect yourself from getting hurt that you’re hurting others going about it. There is much to gain with much at risk. But you’ll never know if you do not try. And even if he rejected you... please don’t kill yourself over this. Life is full of surprises. If he’s not the one for you, there are others—for sure.

 

You can do it. Be brave.