ex best friend is always around me, struggling to hold my tongue and may ruin my own relationship

[littlenicky99]

so I met this girl in my first year of secondary school, I must of been about 11 years old at the time. I didn't really talk to her much to begin with as I was shy with knew people, but then my Nana started taking me to this line dancing class that was on every Thursday, turns out this girl also attended the class, not only that but she was the dance teachers daughter and her whole family attended. so naturally we became friends, about 2 years later I found out i was actually related to that family, I was so excited, I'm not close with my family so I was happy to meet them, then I noticed that this girls cousins always looked at me like I was below them, her older cousin was about 15- 16 at the time and her younger cousin is only a year younger than us. Anyways I had a bad feeling they didn't like me from day one and one day at school me and this girl fell out, we were best friends so it hit us both hard but then I go home from school and my phone starts ringing and its her, I thought she was ringing to apologise but turns out it wasn't that at all, this girl and her two cousins started shouting abuse down the phone at me. A week later we make friends again and its all forgotten, we were young and that stuff happens all the time, friends falling out saying nasty stuff and then being friends the next second. so this on and off thing kept going, she got even more nasty, thinking she was bigger and better than anyone but in reality she only had two friends and they are her cousins, she not a popular girl or anything, not many people actually knew her. so this kept going on and off, I was such a loyal friend/ cousin to her, I fought her battles for her literally, I got excluded for 3 days for having 3 fights with in one week because she was being bullied, at the time I didn't actually consider her as a bully, I never ever thought about the emotional damage she was doing to me. We fell out again about 1 months after the fights and then I went on Facebook and noticed I was added in a group chat with her and her cousins and they were cutting deep with the horrible things they were saying "you're a dancer, you don't belong in our class with our family", "your not related to us, stop telling lies", "your too fat to dance", "come dancing on thursday and we will batter you"," ugly ","scruff" and many, many more. I was 14, 14 years old getting thrown these insults by my so called best friend/ cousin, her 17-18 year old cousin and her younger cousin. All this because I disagreed with my best friends actions, I stood up to her when she would do something wrong.

 

I bet you all are thinking that I could of said stuff to her at school to start this off and that I'm being one sided. nope, most of the times we fell out it was over text, this girl would never say her true feelings to my face, she would laugh at things I say and then id get a message later about how I shouldn't being saying that stuff and be arguing for 4-5 hours because I said something she didn't like yet she didn't show her dislike when she was laughing. I was always confused when she would argue with me over messenger, I'd never understand why she cant say the stuff to my face.

 

so again we make friends, the on and off thing continues untill we are about 16, this is were we meet out boyfriends. the thing is our boyfriends are actually twin brothers, fun! after about 6 months of me and my boyfriend being together, i become pregnant, i was terrified, our relationship was a secret because he was 4 years older than me and my family didnt like that, so i confided in my best friend but then lied to her and told I got my period, i found then i didn't trust her as much as i thought. one day we are both on the bus back home from seeing our boyfriends and she tells me she is scared and announced she is pregnant. I then confess that I lied to her. we become closer than ever! we were so happy, we would spend every day together. untill onc day I start bleeding and then walked to the hospital because i was scared of my parents finding out, i tell my best friend and she came with me. she sat with me through everything, held my hand, i findd out i have rh- blood which caused a miscarriage . i cried for ages. i was then giving a pill to help the process of emptying out my womb, i calmed down and came to terms of what was happening and swore not to cry anymore. after the proccess finished the nurse comes back and says there was two fetuses, yep i was pregnant with twins. i was heart broken, i didnt know what to do. my best friend held me while i cried and said that its all fine and that i can help her with her child and will be a good aunty.

 

2 months later i found out she was lying all along because she knew i lied to her, she was on the injection. i felt disgusted and stupid, i was manipulated so easy! thats what she was best at, i stopped talking to her, i just couldnt. i was so angry. since i stopped speaking to her she became angry that id stopped talking and being her friend, every time i went to a party for my boyfriends family she would be their giving me evils and muttering under her breath, sending me messages on facebook with all sorts of accusing words.

 

i have now realised that she is nothing but a keyboard worrier, a wimp, she never once said any of the stuff to my face, she would just glare at me across the room because her boyfriend was with her, when id see her on her own she wont even look at me in the face. ive found that 7 years of friendship was complete bullsh**t, nothing but trying to be some sort of leader trying to control me. since i discovered her lies i stopped dancing, i had and still have a huge passion for but i want her out of my life, ive blocked her on everything, trying to get rid of every trace of her but this if the problem i cant, she is the girlfriend of my boyfriends twin brother, every time im round his house ,she is their, everytime i see her i get angry and want to put her in her place, i want her to feel all the emotional scarring that she gave me. she f**cked me up, i dont trust any females to have friends. but i just cant get away from her. im just this huge ball of anger, i passionately hate her and myself for not seeing it! i keep trying to talk to my boyfriend about it but his reply is always "thats just how she is" he doesnt understand the urge to punch her in the face everytime i see her. i keep my self from his home becasue im scared i might actually hit her. i dont know what to do, i keep arguing with my boyfriend because he keeps telling me to be civil and to ignore it but i cant, 7 years of constantly being made a fool of, used and manipulated is not easy to ignore. sometimes i think that the only way to get her out of my life is to dump him.

 

i need help but i dont know where to get it from or what to do

[DanZee]

Yes, I agree. You have to block your boyfriend and that entire wing of your family. They're cruel, vicious people. They've learned how to push you buttons. You should stay away from the lot of them!