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What should I do if she does not care for me, and I still love her?


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I started liking a girl. I started doing things for her, taking care of her. First she rejected me many times, and was really rude to me and said she's not a virgin. She then told me she had a break up, and it was terrible. I still began caring for her more and more. After some time she said that she was getting attached to me, and that she has to go abroad for 3 years, so she can't see this reaching anywhere. She started spending time with me and talking to me at night before going to bed. But I always found her behavior to be peculiar towards one of her guy friends. She said he's just a friend. Then she said, that, that guy helped her over come the depression she was in, after her ex cheated on her, whom she loved madly. She started telling me that she likes me, but she was continuing to have late night, chats with that guy. I had objection to this; she kept on telling me 'it's ok'. Then one day, she told me, that she lost her virginity, in frustration, and on forceful attempt by that guy whom she talked to at night. She said she later realized it was a mistake, so she told him to stay away, but she said she had slept with him 3-4 times, because she came to know from her confidante, that her ex was 'supposedly' sleeping with another girl. She used to spend nights at her ex's apartment, making out, but didn't lose her virginity to him, but to the 'depression rescuer' guy, out of anger. We tried to work on our relationship. Now, she's abroad, and she tells me, she cannot love me emotionally, she cannot care for me physically, she does not have time for me, and she keeps on telling me to live practically, and stop fighting with her, because she cannot help me, she cannot care for me, and that her life is getting busier. Also, she first promised me that she'll get married one year later, but now she's saying, that it'll be 2 years. She enjoys late night parties with guys and girls, she drinks, and gets high, to the extent she cannot climb stair case. She doesn't mind talking to other guys late at night, this thing bothers me. I have told her countless times. She wants me to propose to her, but she cannot tell her parents before that, about me, at all, she says. Also, she told me, that it is my duty to make her feel secure, and if she does not get to meet my parents before she goes abroad, she'll be really insecure. I cared enough for her, and despite not wanting it, I set up a meeting of her, with my Parents. She really enjoys attention from people. She gets really hurt when people are not staring at her. She always says she wants to be hot and wants that all guys look at her. She says to me that loves me, that no one can care for her like I do, but then at times she blames me for loving her. What do I do? Is she really trustworthy? I have spend countless hours over this. Please suggest, where am I making a mistake?

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Your mistake is that you are chasing a girl who is not into you, and who frankly sounds like an immature, emotional mess. Proposing to this girl would be insane.


You need to walk away from this before you get any more attached. There is virtually no way this will have a happy ending for you, my friend.

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I have two questions for you, one is out of curiosity, the second is a serious question:


1) Where are you from?

2) Do you have any mental, emotional and/or psychological issues?


Quick piece of advice - Tell your parents. Tell them everything you have written here, and prepare your face for the slap your father should give you to knock some sense into you.

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Hi AtitAgain. I and her, are both from India, and both our families are conservative. But she has been keeping her family in the dark about her things. In her parent's eyes, she's still the mature, sensible daughter, who can take good care of herself and of others.


I do not have any issues, but I am in a phase where I am to get married very soon. She said she cannot live without me and wants to marry me. Before leaving, she said she'd rather choose to be housewife for sometime and stay here. She said she does not want to go, and cannot go without me. But now that she's there, she says she cannot get married to me, and I have to wait for 2 years for that to happen. She said she just cannot care for me emotionally, let alone physically. She keeps asking me to come there, take long leave from work, prepare visa and plan euro tour, and come there. But she has a month long vacation this year end. And she says she does not want to come home, as her parents will tell her to do household chores, and she'll get bored. I told her, that she has all the documents, money, clearances, to come here, and she can come for 1 or 2 or 3 weeks what ever is suitable to her, as it's her vacation, no studies, no work, just free time... and she say's she's dying to meet me. But she doesn't want to come to her home, here. She just does not want to do anything for me, or for us. As soon as look upto her for emotional care... she runs away, or shouts at me... tell me... the she doesn't know what to do... I think she's just playing around with me now. You agree?

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How old are you? Have you talked to your parents about this? I am serious, tell your parents, principally your father. That is the first thing you need to do, and if they still want to bless this marriage, then I am sorry, but both you and your parents are nuts.


Stay away from this girl, don't be an idiot. I am hoping that your parents will talk some sense into you. This is just insane.

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