confused

[nomadhutner]

Late last year an awesome girl introduced herself to me online. We hit it off right away and she soon invited me to her place which was about a five hour drive away. I went and we had an awesome time. I really liked her. To spare you the details we were sort of romantically involved. We continued to talk and call each other. I went back to her place once more about two weeks later. Again good times followed. A couple weeks later when I asked when I could see her again she told me she had a boyfriend now. I didn't think much of it except she had some of stuff that I had loaned to her. No big deal I was not emotionally invested in her all that much at this point. A couple months later I contacted her to see about getting my stuff back and she seemed ok about that. After a few false starts I picked my stuff up from her friend's dorm room. Next time I spoke to her I asked about some movies that were not in the box of stuff at her friend's place. She said she would get them for me from her ex boy friend and meet me in San Francisco, we had both recently moved closer to that area, for different reasons. When we meet in SF we had agreed that it would be just as friends, despite what had happened between us before. As the day progressed and we toured the city it became more and more like a date until when it came time to leave we were both confused. We kissed and she told me that if we kiss now it will mean more than what we had done before. Now I felt emotionally attached to her. Big time. But the next week she called and told me she wanted to be just friends, but that she was also confused and wanted to see what happens. I was bummed and wondering what to do next but hopeful that if we got to hang out again, I live 4 hours away still despite the move, we would be able to reengage the romance. A month goes my with us talking about hanging out several times and nothing coming of it. We meet on link removed and i began to worry about her becoming involved with some the guys she had in her friends list. Yes I was a paranoid jealous nerd, but I didn't let on like I was one. I played it cool. I noticed that her friend is having a birth day a couple weeks ago so I wished her friend a happy birthday. Her friend invited me to her birthday so I went and was on my best behavior. I laid on the charm as best I could. I meet the girl whom I had been having romantic feelings for parent's, who I hit it off with. I spent the night in the family spare room. I didn't sleep because I didn't have any resolution on my situation yet. Before I left the next day I gave her a mixed cd of romantic songs with images of things she really liked on the cover. I put allot of work into it. I played it off like it was not big deal when I gave it to her but she hugged me and kissed me on check and mouth and told me we should hang out again. I called her soon to find out what we are doing.

She responds "I don't know" I tell her I really like her and want to be with her. She tells me she really likes me too but is scared. She thinks it will be too hard to do the distance thing with me. She has done the distance thing before and doesn't like it. She doesn't want me to have to sacrifice school for her. I tell her I want to try. She wants to spend more time with me, integrate me into her life and see how things go. She tells me she isn't with anyone right now. She tells me she is glad I bought up this topic so it wasn't hanging over out heads. I tell her I have more than enough free time for her. I tell her the term is only 5 weeks longs and I'd like to spend more time with her during the summer. She seems to like that idea. I say I want to spend my birthday with her if that is not too presumptuous of me. She says she is flattered I want to spend the day with her. She asks what I want for my birthday, and says that nothing won't cut it. I respond that I don't know let me think about it. She asks me what kind of cake I want for my birthday. I tell her any kind I just don't like frosting. We end the conversation shortly with me telling her "I'll talk to you again soon."

 

I thought about what I want her to get me for my birthday and I know what I want. It's right up her alley. She loves to write and to draw. I think I will ask her to write me a story or draw me a picture.

When I told her she said she likes that idea and will paint me a painting. We have spoken every day since our last kiss but I am still not confident about what we are doing. Does she like me as much as I like her? I really like her. I can't wait to see her on my birthday. Damn I'm eager. I don't want to seem too excited, but I am. I asked if I could see her sooner and she said it would ruin her gift for me.

 

Sorry about the long post. I thought some back ground would be helpful. I think her biggest concern is the distance between us. Does anyone have any advice for me? I think I might be falling in love with this girl.

[BlueCoconut]

Sounds like you really like each other, or just can't keep your hands to yourselves together. lol. Things like that make me wonder... if she would be your ONE...

 

Well as a supporter and student of the no long distance rule, I say remain friends. You are falling in love woth her, funny how distances amplify emotions. Surely if they were no distance, it would a duty for the two of you to be together in the name of happiness. don't know what to tell you either, but may the best of luck be with you.

 

Now, IF she is the ONE, well time will bring her around again. I suggest, you remain great friends, talk a bit less, and see other people, get together every once then, keep in touch. and if she is, time can wait till you are done with school. Until then, enjoy life and know other people...

 

Best of luck!

[providentielle]

If you both like each other and are prepared to work at it and there is a time in the future where you could be together then I dont see a problem with having a ldr. I can see why she is cautious about it, it's not the easiest way to be with someone and it can be hard. I think you should give her time to come round to the idea. Good luck