Breakup

[camwhite18]

To keep It short, I broke up with a girl but now i feel guilty for everything and shameful.

 

-We had a lot of arguments and she made me feel like i was the blame for all of them.

-for one month we couldnt even hangout because she brought up things that she didn't like and I defended them, she said i should have just not argued with her, but last time i checked, it take two to Argue and i was upset that she couldn't understand a relationship flowed both ways.

- she even claimed I made her physically sick for that whole month. And thats something I would never blame my partner for.

- she always said she know what she wants because shes older, but the times where I didn't do what she expected me too, she would rudely call me out and try to correct it for me. She got mad over little things And I was defensive, because I appreciate she tells me what she dosent Like, but if i didn't do exactly what she wanted, she was upset, saying any older gentlemen would have done this.

-she even got her mom involved, shes 24 and I'm 21, and when we had arguments, her mom Sent me 5 paragraphs sticking up for her daughter and when i called her out on it, she said she didn't know her mom sent that, which I find hard to believe. Everytime I slightly raised my voice and talked to her in a louder tone, she'd threathen to hang up the phone saying , " stop yelling at me" when i wasn't, Every time i told her my side, i felt like she wasn't listening. She never apologized for Anything, and i was apologizing 20 times a day for the smallest stuff.

 

I moved to a new city and really don't have a lot of people to talk to about this, but these feeling of shame and guilt for my mistakes in the relationship are really eating me alive, anyone know how to deal with this?

 

This girl really screwed with my head, i almost feel manipulated and now i feel like im crazy, no lie. I'm glad the relationship is over but i feel guilty for everything, but I know some of this HAS to be on her.

[thealchemist]

Well firstly, don't feel bad for breaking up. It looks like you made the right decision. It doesn't matter if you or her were 100% the reason for all the crap that went wrong in your relationship, either way, break up was the right choice.

 

I am sure you both are at fault in some capacity, because that is the way it always is. Analyze the things that you feel you or her messed up on. Learn from both of your mistakes. Figure out your preferences on everything and just learn from it.

 

If you walk away from a relationship wiser than you entered it, it isn't a total loss.

[kilbournce]

camwhite18 hate to tell you this . It seems that she broke up with you along time ago . Once she started to make the relationship unbearable. When she started to{ try to) make you feel guilty. For I hope when I am done saying my spell you might agree.

Did you cheat or Lie. to her ? Did you ever beat on her ? if the answer to those ? Is no .Can you say that you did you best and you was good to her . Yes still problems Then i say it again . She broke up with you.. Because no matter what you did or didn't do it was not going to be good.enough. Also when someone blames it all on you. No matter what you say. You never going to get her to take any kind of responsibility. Besides you don't need her too. Just get over yourself .Think about what you guys could of done different . Use what you have learn for you next honey.. By the way just because a relationship does not work out. Does not mean it is anyone's fault . People out grow people. . Guilty is a M F