Does time really do the healing?

[Rjw716]

No need to get into the specifics or details of my break up here, but bottom line is that my ex girlfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago. We were together for about 10 months. Im 16 so im very young, i know, but the feelings i have are very real. Its been a hellish month for me. I have a ton of anxiety, wondering what shes doing, who shes with, etc. i am in immense pain, i constantly think of memories we had, just about every little thing reminds me of her and i break out into crying fits probably 4 or 5 times a day. I go back to school in a couple weeks and will have to see her every day and im terrified. How am i going to be able to deal with seeing her in person every day, when just seeing a picture of her on social media vaults me into a crying fit. I think i should remover her from my social media, but i cant bring myself to do it. She wanted to be friends and i said ok but im not sure if we are or not, we have had a few casual convos over text since the breakup, and i have tried to avoid all contact with her starting about 2 weeks ago. I think i am going to tell her that i would like to try again. Obviously i am expecting a no, but i feel like it might at least help bring some closure and acceptance. I want her back so bad. I was so shocked when she said she had lost feelings and broken up with me. The point im trying to get to here is that its been about 6 weeks and life still feels like absolute hell. Does it really just take this much time? There are a lot of moments where i feel absolutely defeated and there are some moments when i feel more like myself, although she is still in the back of my mind. Does it really just take this long? It all hurts so much and i am constantly fighting myself, trying to let go of something that i am grasping on to desperately. I start with a therapist in a few days.

Any replies or advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

[pippy longstocking]

6 weeks isn't long Rj , you are not being kind to yourself ...I am glad you so desperately want this to be over , but sometimes you just have to sit down and say to yourself ...*right I hurt like hell , this is how it is , I haven't healed yet , I accept that and will stop fighting with myself to make it happen quicker *

 

It will do you good to start the therapy and get it all out .

[reinventmyself]

There's an unwritten rule that the grief lasts about half the duration of the relationship.

I imagine your anxiety is heightened with school starting and it will obviously be hard.

But the good news is with repeated exposure the discomfort will lesson.

 

I have often seen someone after a long separation and it's as if the spell is broken.

I had them so high up on a pedestal and when I do actually see them, they aren't as special as my imagination led me to believe.

 

Hang in there. You will get through this.

[and so it goes]

Keep yourself busy, find new friends, get new hobbies, stay engaged with the world around you.

Do everything you can to not think about her

Don't try super hard to avoid her - face it, you're going to run into her sooner or later

When you do see her, be cool, be calm, keep it together

 

The therapist will help, but really you need to put some time and distance between you and this.

 

oh, and yeah, it sucks...breakups hurt - they hurt alot, but in the end, they will make you stronger

 

Hang in there buddy.

[positiveone]

It's been 8 months for me and honestly I'm like 80% better. When you meet a girl you like everything changes bro... I'm telling you. You will meet someone.. even though you're miserable right now. This will end.