Please help me find closure with my break up

[Clivo]

I was with this guy for 3 years. He was my second love, but it felt so different. The care I had for him was unbelievable. When he was down it broke my heart. He broke up with me a week ago and I'm getting a lot of mixed signals. First of all - there was no obvious issues. We broke up once before and that was a really rough couple of months when we got back together straight away and there was a lot of issues. Whereas the last 3 months have been absolutely amazing.. he was always saying how he's going to marry me one day. Which is why I'm so confused as to how it changed so suddenly. One day he was telling me he really didn't want to end anything but we both said things we didn't mean and it blew out of proportion. He was still saying he wanted to go on holiday with me (it's in 3 weeks) the next day he was saying how he needed to get rid of any possibilities of us getting back together in the future. This of course broke my heart again, hoping that he would heal himself and then wanted to work things out. And then the next day he doesn't want to go on holiday together, and he completely flipped out because I asked if he was interested in someone else (he was during the relationship so I felt completely reasonable to ask) of which he denied. Now he's blocked me off of everything. He first told me the reason we were ending was because he didn't want to be with anyone due to the problems in his life atm. But then all facts are pointing to he's got someone else.. and I'm completely baffled to be feeling like I didn't mean anything to him.. I realise that how he is now there's no way he's going to be healthy for me.. but I still am head over heals for the guy and I'm completely broken. I don't have any friends to vent to or get my mind off of it, I don't drink so I can't take my mind off of it that way. I don't really know what I'm asking I was just looking for advice other than "you deserve better" or "he's obviously moved on so you need to forget about him".

[Songbird86]

Oh sweetie I really feel your pain. I'm in exactly the same place and it's SO . I found out yesterday that my ex from only 9 weeks ago got with someone new after 2 weeks if breaking up with me. (She was ready and waiting in the wings and had been sniffing round him for a while). Somewhere I knew. I Had no evidence, but a woman's intuition is a powerful thing. So if you suspect it, its likely you're onto something. His break up with you is inconsistent / like mine was.

 

Nothing anyone says to me helps, but I try to get through each day as best I can. Time is the crappy healer in all of this. Thinking of you xx

[Pleasedonot5]

That's tough, Clivo. Hugs.

 

It sounds like this guy is pretty convinced he doesn't want you. No amount of begging, questioning, or texting will make him want to get back together with you. Please refrain from doing any of that, if applicable, any further. Give him the space he wants.

 

The holiday is not going to happen for the two of you, so don't get your hopes up. It's also none of your business whom he is seeing or in whom he is interested. I advise against those questions. It won't help you to find out, and it makes you look bad when you ask.

 

Please feel free to vent to us on here, or to send me a PM. Hope this helps.

 

Sincerely,

PDN5