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Not sure what to do


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Little background on me before I get into everything else. I'm 33 male and haven't been in a relationship for 7 years. It was a choice to not be in one. My ex knowingly gave me hpv and never told me or cared that she gave it to me. I have tried to date since then but everytime the topic came up they ran. So i'm not that kind of person.


Fast forward to now. I've decided to give it another go because, well, im sick of being alone. I met this girl through a mutual friend. She just got out of a divorce and was married for 14 years. Her husband was mentally sick and it really messed her up when she found out. I don't want to say here how messed up this guy was because its pretty sick. She had a miscarriage and when that happened her husband pretty much gave up and didnt care. Anyway her and I clicked from the start. Normally im a bit shy around women but it wasnt the case with her. And we could sit and talk for hours and hours and never run out of anything to talk about. She told me she wasn't ready to date just yet with the divorce being so recent. I can understand that. However after we met she said she had to tell me that she has been seeing someone for the past 6 months. Said she had to tell me so not to lead me on. But she does have feelings for me as do i her. Anyway they didnt want anyone to know they were together just yet. Sucks because I know this guy and he is a complete tool. But they met in church right after her marriage went south and he was there for support. I honestly dont think it will last because of that reason. I think he will end up being more of a rebound. Now a few days ago she asked me to stop over her house after work and have a couple drinks. So i did. She had a bit too much to drink and you know how if you drink you pretty much lose your filter. She was going on about her bf how he always cancels on her to hang out with his friends. She was like I love him but I hate him and hes an a***ole. "Why cant he make me feel like you do" "youre here, you support me, and you never bail on me" "He's a boy and doesnt know how to treat a woman". Later on we were talking about something and the topic moved to her ex husband and she started crying. She begged me for a hug so I hugged her and she cried on my shoulder for like 10 minutes. After a while I can't remember what we were talking about but I asked her what she wanted and she immediately blurted out "I want you but i cant have you because im with my bf whos an a***ole"


I dunno how to take that. We agreed to be friends but now she talks like she wants to be with me but wont leave the bf. This girl in my eyes really is amazing. I plan to stay her friend but what do I do? Do I keep my hopes up she will come around or should i just write it off?



On a side note since her and I started talking I now have 2 friends that want to hook up but dont want a relationship... I don't do one night stands. And my ex from 17 years ago who i have stayed friends with wants to leave her marriage and come back to me... sorry but no. I don't understand why all of a sudden im interesting to people. I'm not even good looking. lol What I want I can't have and its driving me nuts and I can't get her out of my head.

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The problem here is your self esteem. This woman looks good because your self esteem has been wrecked by HPV. Stop being the nice guy and cut her off. Tell her to contact only if she's ready to start something. Then walk away. She'll probably start trying to suck you back in as her emotional boyfriend. Resist the temptation. Only let her back in if she says and shows you she's ready to date you.

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You know... I think you're right. Time alone has made me a bit too willing i guess you could say. I think what really has my mind a wreck right now is when she was drunk the other day she tried her damnedest to start something with me. I had to push her away about a dozen times. One time when we hugged she bit the hell out of my chest. lmao Hey thats fine with me biters are fun. I would never get between a couple to break up a relationship and i would never take advantage of someone that was drunk like that. But now that I look back on that it makes me wonder now. Yea it could of been the alcohol but if she was doing that with me while shes still in a relationship then if her and i did get together what would stop her from doing that with someone else. I've always liked the saying once a cheater always a cheater and it rings true for the most part. This fog is starting to lift and im starting to see things a little clearer. Worst of it all though is she remembers nothing at all from that night other than i showed up.

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