Broke up with partner of 4 years

[Boobydoo]

Guess I'm just looking for some advice here.

My partner and I broke up over a week ago now and we'd been together for four years. We've broken up before and keep getting back together, but I fear that this may be for good.

The last time we got back together we made a pact, and that was to not keep walking out on each other, to live together, and, he was going to put a ring on my finger. After a few weeks this didn't happen (remember we'd made a pact that we both wanted, and we'd agreed a timeframe) so I told him I wouldn't be taken for a mug and he left.

I've never been able to keep up no contact, but this time I'm doing well, and, today will be the fourth day. I'm already at the stage where I'm missing him, but am determined to stay strong.

Before all this he has always shown so much love, not always in affection, but back up etc. He's always been a bit possessive when it comes to me, but never stopped me going out. He's always told me he's going to marry me, and won't fail. He doesn't have friends, bit of a loner, but he referred to me as his soul mate.

When we have a chat about something that he's not comfortable with he can say anything evil that comes into his head! I've been told I'm bipolar, that I fail my children and that I have a failed business.

When he reacts like this I take the challenge and rise up, which I know isn't always best, but, I don't want to be a doormat!

The last split involved him taking a few days and then asking to meet up with me. When we did, he kept breaking down, and believe me, this guy is as hardened as they come - he's seen a lot in life and emotion doesn't show through!

 

I guess I'm looking for the impossible here. Has anyone got back with their ex after being with them so long. Are there any success stories on here? Do I just need to be patient? What should I be looking for?

 

As you can tell, I don't really have any structure here as to what I'm asking. Suppose I just need to talk to those in the same boat.

[MissCanuck]

Girl.

 

You have to at some point realize this isn't working anymore. You should not have to make a pact to get a man to commit. When you sink to the level, the relationship is as good as over.

 

You deserve more. Go and get it. This guy isn't going to turn into the loving husband you want.