aguerra Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 Hello everybody. I just recently went through a very difficult break up. I was dating this girl for six years but for the last 3 years of the relationship, I had lost my love for her but did not tell her until recently. I know I did a huge mistake by keeping my secret from her but I think I did the right thing cause I did not wanted to marry her. Anyways, she has gone to visit my mom and best friend asking them if they know the real reason behind our break up because she does not accept that I don't love her anymore. She does not understand why you can just not love someone anymore. She needs answers but I can not give them to her cause I don't even know why I don't love her anymore. Do you think she will just get over it with time and move on, or you think she is going to continue to ask questions? Link to comment
Pengui6668 Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 She'll probably get over it.. it's hard to hold on to someone when they're not even looking in your direction... Link to comment
cookies Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 BOTH.. I think that she is going to keep asking questions because you dropped the bomb on her after 3 years of basically living a lie in false pretense that you loved her mutually, when in fact you didnt...and she willl get over it and move forward after realizing theres nothing there any longer. ITs true, ...no relationship can thrive when both parties dont love one another equally...and we really cant force sumone to love us, when they dont...thats a painful pill to swallow in life, but it can be done with ease when we dont think about it any longer... As soon as she accepts the facts, she will begin her grieving process, accpetance and then healing process... but be gentle with her, since you lead her on in misbelieve for all of this time. Thats 3 long years of her life that she cant take bace...so please be gentle with her heart... cookies Link to comment
StillLoveHer Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 Let me just say this... Your an asshole... Link to comment
michelemybell Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 I am in the same situation as your ex----so maybe I can give you some perspective from the other side. She is hurting right now because obviously it is a shock to her---you already had time to deal with the fact that it was over for you (you already prepared yourself mentally for this even while you were still with her), but to her it's all new and she's going to have a ton of questions--and she's going to your family to get at least some perspective on the situation. The person she needs to be talking to is YOU. I think you can answer a lot of questions by just being as honest as possible---even if you think you're hurting her feelings. Most people who do the breaking up will just end it cold turkey (thinking that they don't want to give false hope to their ex or their afraid to confront their ex). My ex cut me off cold turkey, but he told everyone else that it wasn't me, it was something that he was going through---and I tried fishing around for any answer from anyone I could talk to. If he could just be there and be supportive and answer my questions. I could handle it better and accept the fact that we are just friends. At least it would help me move on without having all these lingering questions that seem to be holding me back. I think you'll feel better too if you end your relationship, but still remain on friendly terms with your ex. Link to comment
kddmsu Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 I think that she will definitely get over it in time, but with such a long relationship it will hurt for a while. I agree with michelemybell that you should answer her questions, but be very direct on how you feel. Don't say things like, "I see us together in the future or it could happen between us again" I know when you see her it's going to hard but be completely honest with her on how you feel. You have had your time to get over it already, so now your ex's time. I am like your ex right now, but the difference is my ex of 2 years is now dating someone that he thinks he loves. It's very hurtful and hard for me because the end to the relationship was a shock. You see it's hard for someone in my position to imagine that someone that loved you for so long could just stop. I don't think that you should keep contact with you ex, it will only be harder for her. I mean of course answer her questions but a friendship isn't a possibility until the both of you give up on the relationship. Just whatever you do, DO NOT give false hopes. Because even though my ex says he loves this other girl, he keeps telling me that he sees us together in the future. It's not right, you either want it or you don't. Can I ask you a question, Do you see your ex and you back together in the future? If so you should think twice about the break up, maybe you just need a break. Link to comment
Hopper Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 Just want to let you know that i have just ended my relationship with my 6 yr girlfriend as well. My reasons weren't the same as yours though. Mine was because was that she wasn't happy with herself anymore, her personal life(outside of me) kept on bringing her down, and the fact it was a long distance relationship. I tried to turn thing around for her, but she just never could and brought be down in the process. i was only able to try for so long until it started wearing my life away too. it is extremely difficult to deal with, but i am still trying to help her through this as a friend. So far, it seems to be helping her more... My advice is just to try to work with her until she realizes that your love isn't there, she'll eventually figure it out and move on, just dont drop her like a bad habit... Link to comment
adidas7fire Posted August 10, 2003 Share Posted August 10, 2003 i'm in a 2.5 year relationship with a guy i fell head over heels for. within the last couple months, our relationship has become more distant. i can tell when things are changing and it's really hard to hear someone say one thing (usually something you want to hear) when they actually mean another. i've been heartbroken since then because i know that he is feeling indifferent about me and that's the hardest thing that i have ever had to deal with in my life. (the full story is on the forum, topic - "i'm about to end my life") not telling your gf the truth is the worst thing that you could have done. from my experience, a girl's emotions are very important and when you mess with them like that, it drives us crazy. we want to know what you are thinking... we want to know why you feel a certain way. i'm so mad at my fiance for not expressing his feelings because i am left in the dark... about to face suicide and feel there is no point to move on with my life if the one i love isn't in love with me anymore. anyways, i personally don't think i would get over something like that... but that's just who i am. feelings, emotions, and thoughts really mean a lot to me. Link to comment
dazn Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 Hey that sounds like my story except it was she who was 15 and now 21 and broke up with me...It has been about two months now...my standards have gone through the roof that I can't seem to find someone but I really am not ready for another committed relationship and have too much pride to just have a quick fling...anyways just keep your options open...grieve first then heal Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now