jackie103 Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 I was with my ex girlfriend for almost 3 years (we are both bi) when we broke up in order for her to sort of "discover" herself and be single/date around. I did nc for about 7 months and then we got back into contact with each other and started romantically seeing each other again (except not exclusively). We haven't been seeing anyone else during this period. I brought up getting back together but she says she has this gut feeling that we don't have a future together because all of her family would not be able to accept it. She has told her parents about us, who reacted badly. They're always worried when they know she's hanging out with me and she feels bad and guilty that she makes her parents feel that way... she says the gut feeling is due to a bunch of other factors also, that she doesn't really understand since she says she's in love with me and has been genuinely happy the past few months we've been together. She also said that her upbringing might be a reason because if I were a guy she just met now, she'd be able to see a future with me. I'm moving very soon and told her that if she didn't want to be in a relationship, I'd have to cut off contact with her in order to fully move on. She really wants to stay friends but understands that I need to do nc. In my opinion, I feel like her gut feelings are just fear due to her family but there may be something underneath that I don't know. She said that our relationship has always had an end date because back in college, we had kept the relationship a secret and knew it would have to come to an end. But now, I feel like I could and want to be with her for the long term and really love her and told her that it doesn't have to have an end date if we don't put one there... the end date is not natural because we are the reason for it, if that makes sense. She's close to her family so I know she would never want to hurt them and she always says that all of her family members are still alive and it would just be something they wouldn't be able to accept. She just recently got a therapist through an app on her phone and has been talking about these issues with her... I know the therapist isn't happy with how her family is reacting about her sexuality and a part of me hopes that the therapist might shed some light and make her want to get back together with me but I just have a feeling her mind won't change and it's really hurting me. I just don't know what to do. I know if she doesn't want to be with me, I'll have to move on but it's really hard for me... it hurts to imagine her with someone else and everything just feels right when I'm with her. Link to comment
Giblesp Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 She's said she doesn't see a future, only give women the time when they see a future. 'I'm in love with you and would see a future if I'd just met you...' Sorry but what a load of rubbish. Sounds like she might be a bit unstable. It makes it easier that you are moving away from the area associated with her. Always move on from a woman who's unclear and/or sitting on the fence. Leave it open if you like them, tell them to give you a call if she changes her mind. But waiting around while they sit in the fence will cause them to disrespect you. Making a decisive action as to what you want and not accepting less, is the best chance of getting her and a guaranteed chance of setting you up for the next person. Link to comment
jackie103 Posted July 6, 2017 Author Share Posted July 6, 2017 She's said she doesn't see a future, only give women the time when they see a future. 'I'm in love with you and would see a future if I'd just met you...' Sorry but what a load of rubbish. Sounds like she might be a bit unstable. It makes it easier that you are moving away from the area associated with her. Always move on from a woman who's unclear and/or sitting on the fence. Leave it open if you like them, tell them to give you a call if she changes her mind. But waiting around while they sit in the fence will cause them to disrespect you. Making a decisive action as to what you want and not accepting less, is the best chance of getting her and a guaranteed chance of setting you up for the next person. I do think she's a bit unstable but I also think she wants a "normal" relationship/family in the future aka a man and a woman... but I do plan on leaving the door open for her although I have told her that I'm not waiting. Right now, we are just enjoying our time together before I leave this weekend and then I go NC Link to comment
luvedup Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Iv had the same from my ex..said she was in love with me but needed to find herself etc etc.. load of rubbish. Iv spoke to a lot of people about this and done research aswell.. if u genuinely whole heartedly love someone that much..they come before EVERYTHING. Family, friends, work..if you can choose something like the opinion of others over that person it isnt love. She would just prefer you to stick around than not. Very selfish. Cut contact and miss her like crazy..but move on. Good luck Link to comment
jackie103 Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 Iv had the same from my ex..said she was in love with me but needed to find herself etc etc.. load of rubbish. Iv spoke to a lot of people about this and done research aswell.. if u genuinely whole heartedly love someone that much..they come before EVERYTHING. Family, friends, work..if you can choose something like the opinion of others over that person it isnt love. She would just prefer you to stick around than not. Very selfish. Cut contact and miss her like crazy..but move on. Good luck Yeah it's going to be hard but i guess if it's meant to be, it will. Spent all week with her... moving tomorrow so saying goodbye tonight. Link to comment
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