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  • Birthday 12/19/1986

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  1. I had a feeling someone would mention this. i did querie it,but they are all nurses and had had covid tests that morning apart from the MIL that has been in isolation due to having just recovered from cancer last year and having had a shoulder operation last month, all came back negative so they were fine to do so. Plus as her mums friends live on their own with no partners or family they are each others bubble now aswell.
  2. Thanks for helping me..your replies are very much appreciated. Yes i do want to marry her but i would be lying if i said this MIL situation doesnt make me worried. A little update: i genuinely would like to know if i am more of the problem in this situation because im finding things are bothering me all the time. With the run up to xmas my partner has been buying her mum lots of xmas presents as we all do. Most of which are things she has bought me in the past that her mum has mentioned she would like also when she has seen mine. Anything i have, she has to have, from house furnishing, to the same tins of paint, to xmas decorations. If we are with her mum and i pick something up because i want to buy it, she will also get one. Yesterday we took her mum shopping for christmas gifts, her mum made plans for her friends to come along also and my other half had to pick them all up and drive them. I met them there. We stopped for a coffee and a chat at this point her mum mentioned that she is desperate for my OH to go and live back home. I laughed it off but later on she gave us two xmas cards which we didnt open until we were home. One was to my OH and myself. The other was just to my OH from her mum saying how much she misses her. Still, i sent a polite text thanking for the card and asked if she received ours. To which she replied "yes". Im going to go out on a limb here and say i think its jealousy and she feels i have taken her daughter away from her. But am i letting it bother me too much?..i dont know.
  3. Update : so we spoke about it and my OH was upset as expected. I explained that i felt, her not setting boundaries with her mother was making me resent her mother and thats not what i want. She cooled things off with all the facetime calls but im pretty sure they still txt all day everyday. And recently her mum has started facetiming daily again. Thankfully with covid and lockdown we havent really seen much of her which has been better. I told her tonight that i feel its all going back to how it was. Daily calls and txting each other all day is just too much. Tonight her mum asked her why she wasnt excited to speak to her. Bear in mind they spoke last night for over an hour and txt all day today. Also during last nights phone call the MIL asked my OH if she had made a doctors appt she needed. And said, come back home so i can take care of it for you. Id do anything to get you home. When i say this to my OH she says "oh she doesnt mean it like that, you just dont get her". Am i over reacting? This woman irritates me to no end.
  4. You have misunderstood me im afraid. Yes i know it was for me to make a good impression and as i said i did, i am always polite, i spoke to her and was very courteous but was met with a cold, less than interested demeanour. However i dont feel i need to prove myself to anyone anymore. If she is that rude why should i trip over myself to be polite.
  5. Me too! So much.. i dread my gf asking her mother to stay the night at our home because i feel grossed out being around her. And thats horrible to say but i do
  6. Harsh reality but you are probably right. :/
  7. How do i avoid it for life 🤢 and when she is invading my home.. So do you think i shouldnt talk to my other half about this? Just avoid the MIL at all costs? Sounds like i could do that.
  8. Hello, no nothing like that. Just a very needy mother in law who cant cut the apron strings
  9. LaHermes: I agree..this i what i am worried about. Thanks for your response, also what does OP mean please? Wiseman2 : Thankyou also, i have done a few of the things you suggested. However my partner doesnt see the faults with her mother so i think that may be my biggest issue 🤦
  10. Hi All, thanks for reading. I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years. We are engaged to be married next year and have just bought our dream house together. I get on ok with her mother but i am struggling to hide how much i dislike her from my partner. I love her dad though he is brilliant. Firstly, she (MIL) is rude, very abrupt, when i first met her she couldnt have been less interested in making a first impression. I have been raised to always be very polite. She treats my 26 yr old girlfriend like a baby, arranges to go to her medical appointments with her, still bought her underwear until she moved out, used to read personal valentines and birthday cards id sent her. When she moved out, made her take all her Disney stuffed teddy's and kids toys but told her she cant throw them away. She facetimes her atleast twice a day everyday and texts all day in between, and complains when we do things without her. Wants constant updates on the work we are doing in our house. We went on our first holiday overseas and because we didnt invite her she booked the exact holiday in the exact hotel a few months later and took my girlfriend with her. I took my gf to LA to propose (we live in the uk) her mum also wanted to come with us. She comments on anything we post on social media about how she didnt get an invite, how we do things without her. If we go shopping somewhere, she asks that she comes with us next time. She wants to be involved in all the wedding plan's and doesnt ask to come to our appointments, just tells us she is coming. She pressured my gf into having her cousin as bridesmaid at our wedding. She has spoke about buying a house nearer to us. She lives 30 minutes away but asked which room in our new house is for when she stays over. And then is the embarrasing stuff, she spits when she talks, so going out for a meal with her is uncomfortable, she will sit in a dress with her legs far too open because she is quite large and cant fold one over the other but will be showing everything. She belches all the time. When she invites us around for a meal, she plates the food up with her bare hands, and i once saw her do that after "adjusting" her underwear. Quite honestly, my biggest issue is that she repulses me and i am so uncomfortable around her. But i would never be rude to her, nor do i want to upset my partner in telling her how I feel. Help?
  11. Thankyou. That's good advice. I guess it's a matter of working through something if it's worth it..and to me she is. Aside from all this we have a lovely realtionship and love each other a lot. Just wish it wasn't making me miserable. Thanks again
  12. Yeh this is all very true, I think iv been worried about this in the past and she has always been persistent in telling me she wants what I want but when she is qualified as she already has her job lined up..and also can't wait to get on the property ladder with me. I just think that while she is at university and also working shifts and I'm starting a business id like to be with my partner at the end of the day but struggling to understand that she feels the need to spend her evenings with her mum and just weekend with me. Her mum and dad don't have much if a relationship and don't do anything together and so my gf is her mum's world..her best friend..and she feels guilty if she doesn't see her enough. That's what I'm worried about more than anything.
  13. Thankyou for your response. She is 24..and we discussed this when we first got together. I told her where i was in life and what I wanted and she often tells me she wants the same. She always talks about us getting married and having kids. She feels she is ready for all that. So we seem to be on the same page somewhat. Iv agreed i'll wait until she finishes her studies and she agrees thats when she wants those things to. All i really want is having our life together.. her coming home to me at night. Iv asked her how her mum is going to cope when we live together and she said "she will just have to get used to it". I just think her mum wants to keep her as her baby. But I can't tell her that.
  14. Is two years not patience. I am in the real world. I work, im a carer and im starting a new business and I help her out financially. I'm fully independent and want a partner to settle down with. I also have a large family who I see as and when I can but prioritise spending time with her first and foremost. What is wrong with me expecting the same from her?
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