In need of some encouragement on upcoming LDR

[hannahs]

Hi guys, I have been overthinking about my upcoming LDR and it's soul crushing sometimes.

 

To give you some background, we are a couple of 3 years, lived together for 2 years, the first year being LDR, so you would think we should know how to act or think by now. However, probably because I've experienced it already, I am scared for another year (or 10 months or so) of distance, but I cannot back from it now, as it is very important part of my degree and dropping out from it would mean no diploma and useless debt (I have already postponed this journey for a year due to various reasons).

 

I will be moving for this period of time to East Asia, while he will stay in Europe to finish his studies. This time is going to be different due to very different timelines and and we could only afford to meet up once or twice, if everything goes according to the plan. He has made it clear that he loves me, will be waiting for me to come back and will try to do his best to come to visit. After that, our plan is to live together or at least in the same country, so we could see each other often until I finish my last year of uni.

 

We still have another two months left until this and I already have started to worry, it hurts especially when everyone seems like they really rub it in by asking all that "So, you guys gonna be apart for a year then?" nonsense.

 

The first year of distance was quite hard because it was first relationship for both of us and we had no experience whatsoever, especially in LDRs and distinguishing what's healthy or not. We know better now and I am sure we will Skype/text/exchange letters and gifts as much as possible, but I realized that I need some encouragement from people who had similar situation. How do I enjoy the last two months without overreacting and making it difficult for both of us and then staying strong until the end?

[Generica]

Firstly, you do recognize you have the potential to overreact out of anxiety for the upcoming LDR. You have to be vigilant and check in with yourself and be mindful. Its hard work but you need to do it. You can also talk to your partner about things that crop up.

And ten months isnt that long. You have two trips to break it up and those are important. Dont think of the whole ten months....think of the time between first departure and the next.time you see each other. One step at a time.

Also, people are ignorant regarding things theyve never experienced. Dont get.too upset by ignorance. They have no idea how discouranging what theyre saying is to you. Try to let that one roll off...figure out a standard conversation-ending response you can give anytime someone says that. Dont try to get into details or explain or justify. Just a stock standard response is all that question deserves.

 

Do not quit your studies, do not think of your time away as one whole chunk of time and do not spend any effort on those dumb questions/comments.

 

Youre going have to force yourself to live in the moment these next two months. Its work but the alternative is no friend to you. Live in the moment, have fun! Enjoy each other! Worry about leaving when you actually are leaving. Its great to be committed.to a.future.with your partner but you need.to be committed to the present with him as well. You cant ruin your time together because somewhere down the road is a tough task. Youre sad you only get two trips in ten months yet you are potentially going to waste two months together by losing your **** the whole time. That doesnt make any sense.

 

Thats a jumble of thoughts not well laid out but i hope.you get my points. You can do this. You just need to focus on the right things.

[Dahl]

Firstly, you do recognize you have the potential to overreact out of anxiety for the upcoming LDR. You have to be vigilant and check in with yourself and be mindful. Its hard work but you need to do it. You can also talk to your partner about things that crop up.

And ten months isnt that long. You have two trips to break it up and those are important. Dont think of the whole ten months....think of the time between first departure and the next.time you see each other. One step at a time.

Also, people are ignorant regarding things theyve never experienced. Dont get.too upset by ignorance. They have no idea how discouranging what theyre saying is to you. Try to let that one roll off...figure out a standard conversation-ending response you can give anytime someone says that. Dont try to get into details or explain or justify. Just a stock standard response is all that question deserves.

 

Do not quit your studies, do not think of your time away as one whole chunk of time and do not spend any effort on those dumb questions/comments.

 

Youre going have to force yourself to live in the moment these next two months. Its work but the alternative is no friend to you. Live in the moment, have fun! Enjoy each other! Worry about leaving when you actually are leaving. Its great to be committed.to a.future.with your partner but you need.to be committed to the present with him as well. You cant ruin your time together because somewhere down the road is a tough task. Youre sad you only get two trips in ten months yet you are potentially going to waste two months together by losing your **** the whole time. That doesnt make any sense.

 

Thats a jumble of thoughts not well laid out but i hope.you get my points. You can do this. You just need to focus on the right things.

 

I can't think of anything to add to this top shelf post (phenomenal, Generica!) but I had been composing a response before I saw it was so well covered and decided to weigh in to lend support to you and your partner. It really is rarely the critic who counts.

 

Best of luck!

[Generica]

I can't think of anything to add to this top shelf post (phenomenal, Generica!) but I had been composing a response before I saw it was so well covered and decided to weigh in to lend support to you and your partner. It really is rarely the critic who counts.

 

Best of luck!

Thank you, Dahl. I hope it helps.

[hannahs]

Thank you, reading this gives me strength.