Summerbird Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 Hi there I'm quite torn. I've been seeing this guy for less than a year and last week all of a sudden he texted me and said that we should "quit while we're ahead". He hadn't been very responsive for a while and he said that the decrease in texts and contact in general is because he is going away for six months next year. He said this a week before an exam and I know he was quite stressed because of that. I replied, in confusion of course, that distance will not matter. We lived more than hundred miles from each other when we started texting and he had been to Spain last year for 3 months, so I have been used to the limited contact. I understand that he wants to make the best of it while he is studying abroad - I am more than happy that he gets this opportunity, but I can't understand why we should call it quits. He is quite a loner and only has a few friends - close relations means a great deal to him. His parents' split when he was 18 (now 23) had affected him in ways he can't even notice. He has told me that his parents only staying together because of him and his brother, and he don't want a relationship/marriage like that. He is also quite a thinker, which you probably have noticed since he talks about marriage so early on. He is quite reserved and you really have to gain his trust. He told me that his first girlfriend dumped him cause she was going to study abroad. (Same situation here, ironically) He was devastated. Ever since then he had had a hard time falling and being in love. He still has some issue apparently. So, bottom line: He wants to call it quits since he is going away for quite a time which I am a bit puzzled about. I understand that we can't have the same amount of contact that we had have, but to call it quits? It's too dramatic and unnecessary. Maybe he thinks it holds me back if we still date while he's abroad? He is a really good guy and we have much potential, but I'm worried that he is afraid that he will hurt me and therefore cut contact. He means so much to me - not just romantically. He had changed my life for the better. What can I do in times like these? Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 We lived more than hundred miles from each other when we started texting you started as text buddies and eventually moved closer together? or has this been a texting long distance relationship all along? long-distance relationships aren't very fulfilling for most people. i wouldn't try to pin his decision on some made up analysis of his parents divorce. when people make decisions that don't add to your personal gratification, those are still their personal decisions. telling yourself some phatasmagoric issue on his part is making him act irrationally won't help. Link to comment
Summerbird Posted June 23, 2017 Author Share Posted June 23, 2017 We attended the same Spanish course two years ago but we had no contact during that time. Two months after we had finished the course he reached out to me. I moved last year because of college and I now live closer to him Link to comment
Rezie Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 I think is might be as simple as he wants to hook up with other people when he is doing his semester abroad. I would suggest you accept that it's his decision. Clearly he wasn't that into the relationship if he wanted to break up over something like this. LDR for a semester is not a long time if you really want to share your life with your partner. So you should move on and find someone else Link to comment
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