Going out tonight and need last minute inspiration

[hammer81]

Off out tonight and need to make sure that rather than just eyeing up girls in the club, I actually talk to them. It's a tall order but I'm determined. Gonna have a couple of drinks to build up the old dutch courage but realise it's down to me. I'm determined to crack this.

 

Any last minute advice for a very nervous englishman?

 

Regards

[passions1]

Just make sure that you don't overdrink to calm your nerves & end up coming off as a drunk guy without realizing it. Smile, make sure the girl is making definite eye contact so that you knows you exist & that you're not approaching some girl who you just popped up as a surprise. Don't talk just about yourself non-stop, make sure she has room to talk about herself. Also listen very well, it's a fine skill that appreciated by everyone regardless of gender. Try to hold the conversation in an area where it's less noisy.

[neva_black_n_white]

Whatever you do dont use cheesey chat up lines, i mean they make us think but some times a nice bit of originality goes down. i remember being out and one bloke said "is that a bingo top only im eyes down and looking" so long as your not too drunk to make a comment like that then youll have the confidence.

 

sometimes its just knowing who to talk to, girls can either be welcoming, confusing or blunt as to what they deffinitley dont want. it depends on how you feel. do you find it easier to talk when a woman with a group of friends? or does this intimidate you? do you find it easier to talk one to one or does that intimidate you? do you think that you need to impress? only often thats not the best way, intrigue them. make them feel curious, dont make them feel patronised or sleezy (only some men seem to do this and im sure women also with men).

 

if your unconfident then drinking too much can go badly. so make sure you have enough to make you chatty not arrogant.

 

kel.

 

are you a good dancer?

[hammer81]

Thanks for your advice people. I'm not especially confident, Kel. I think I can talk to girls and make them laugh. Where my confidence lacks is when I'm talking to a girl who I like, who I'd like to get to know better and possibly advance things. That's when the nerves kick in. Otherwise I'm fine.

[DN]

Better not to drink at all, other than one to justify being in the bar. Too easy to say things that sound ok but are actually not.

 

As for the confidence - fake it. Pretend you are acting, eventually you won't have to act it - will just be there.

[annie24]

Yeah - don't get too drunk. No one likes a drunk idiot. If you see a girl, try to strike up a conversation with her based on something interesting you notice about her. Like, if she is wearing a shirt that says "Hawaii" or "University of ..." you can ask her if she's been there. Or, compliment her - like you really like her hair.

 

link removed has some very interesting articles on how to approach women in bars. I know that they work because they've been used on me!

 

Anyways -- good luck!!!

[DN]

And smile - nothing works better than a genuine smile - it shows confidence and interest.