Horribly depressed

[cocochiller]

Me and my boyfriend broke up 3 weeks ago after 1.5 years together. It wasn't hard on me until I found out that he went to a wedding we were supposed to go to together, with another girl. And this girl he started seeing 3 days after we broke up. I couldn't control myself, went to his work and got violent with him. I've been crying nonstop and called him a million times and when he did answer he said he didn't want me calling him anymore. I don't know if he said that out of anger. Then I sent all these emotional messages. This happened Monday, since then I haven't called or talked to him, but last night I sent him a message saying I miss him. He didn't reply, I don't know if it was a mistake but it's how I feel. I'm at a loss, I don't know what to do. I haven't been eating, I keep feeling nautious. I have a class with him tomorrow and don't know how to act towards him. I want him back, I miss him. I want to hold him and hug him, but if I get rejected I will just die. I can't risk him not talking to me tomorrow, it would hurt more than anything. I need advice. I'm hurting and depressed and I want him back.

[hockeyboy]

I can't risk him not talking to me tomorrow

 

dont have to risk it. DONT TALK TO HIM. Youve made the same mistakes that so many of us have made. Now you have to gain control ,mostly of yourself. trust me when i say ive been there. ive gone days without sleeping or eating...its ok, it does get better. but you need to get some control. calling him like you have been will not make you feel better nor will it help you get him back. people are attracted to confident, independent people. be that, show him that. show him you dont need him and do say you do. nobobdy needs anybody to be happy. you cant be happy with someone until your happy with yourself.

[muffe]

Hey! Wanted to let you know that I've been there too! Calling him trying to be with him and getting rejected time after time! It doesn't work you just loose more and more selfconfidence! And before you can be with anyone again (incl. him) you have to regain this confidence! Just for your own sake! You have to know (and get it really good into your brain) that your are worth being loved just because you are who you are! And if he can't see that and dates another girl after just three days then he just not worthy of your love!!! Probably shouldn't wrorry about the other girl so much either - probably isn't serious, just a way of getting over you, not that that makes it ok just a possible explanation! And this doesn't mean that he wants you back, just that it's not that easy for him either! My advice is to be around good friends that love you! And do stuff that you like, espially stuff that doesn't remind you of him! Either try something new or do something you used to love before you guys were together! Just be possitive towards the world!

 

And though it seems impossible and out of reach, I promise you that things are going be allright! You will find happiness again! This pain will pass away! Just believe me on this!

[katefl24]

Well, from the "other side", this may not be what you WANT to hear. But maybe in the long run it would do everyone involved some good.

 

In response to the person who said that the other girl was probably just a way to get over someone... I started dating my boyfriend not long after he'd broken up with his ex of 2 years. (Not three days, but less than a month.) He almost didn't call me back, he told me, because he wanted to be sure he was "over" his ex, but decided that he was and we started dating. Now it's been 9 months, and his ex decided SHE wanted him back, did what you did, called him, cried, still writes him love letters... None of this makes me very happy, but the fact remains: he is still with me, not her. He's told me their differences haven't changed, although he's still obviously emotionally tied to her in some way (by taking her calls), he has moved on.

 

Don't become that terrible, psycho ex who stalks her ex-boyfriend. I do agree that you should forget about him and move one but the bottom line is that if he wanted to get back together with you, he would not be dating someone new.

 

I'm sorry, I know it sucks and I would probably feel the same way if I were you. But the problem is that he has moved on and you haven't. It will take time, but you'll get over him and realize that you can find someone new who is even better than your ex. Each failed relationsip teaches you something and the next one is usually better because of that.

[wonderland88]

I've been dating a guy for a year and half as well and we just up and ended it, I was devastated and felt I couldn't move on...I'm still trying to move on but it's hard I know so much about how you feel.

 

I didn't eat and cried myself to sleep for 1 month and it's the worst pain I've ever experienced...

 

My ex started seeing someone else as well after 2 days though so I know how much it hurts but you just need friends and family to lean on because that's the best thing you could have during this...

 

I was mopy at school and stuff and cried a lot but if you look happy in front of him it's really going to get him angry lol and then he'll look like a fool...but as the saying goes "if you love something set it free, if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't then it was never meant to be". my friends keep telling me that as well and it hurts that they don't believe you can get together again..

 

Move on with your life and once you're back on track he'll realize he's missing the strong independent girl....this girl that went to the wedding with him is "rebound girl" and that is how guys get over things but once he realizes things won't be as good as what you've had together he'll crawl back to you and you can make the decision of wanting to be with him or not...

 

So all I can say hun is keep your head up and keep busy because sitting at home crying isn't going to make things better...go do the things you love and try to look happy even if it means going home and crying but don't give him the benefit of seeing you upset!

[hockeyboy]

Move on with your life and once you're back on track he'll realize he's missing the strong independent girl....this girl that went to the wedding with him is "rebound girl" and that is how guys get over things but once he realizes things won't be as good as what you've had together he'll crawl back to you and you can make the decision of wanting to be with him or not...

 

i dont think its good or healthy to assume this. yes it could happen, but depending on it to happen is not a good way to live. assume the opposite..that he wont come back

[cocochiller]

I hope that she is rebound girl, thanks for all the replys, I need it all. I hope he does come back to me because I want him in my life. I'm feeling more optimistic now. I've started eating, and going out. I still feel so empty. Does the emptiness ever go away?

[brando]

That emptiness you feel can only be driven away by yourself, not your ex coming back. If you learn to heal whatever causes that emptiness, then all your relationships would be that much better. I learned this the hard way. And it is not an easy thing to do. Someone here once wrote

 

no one should make you or break you.

 

Happiness is an inside job.

 

Now is the time to heal and take care of you. I know the pain you are feeling, and this is the best advice i can offer.

 

Be well...