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[Help!] I don't understand this girl


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Feels like I’m at my wit’s end here, so I apologize in advance if I go off on some long tangent. Obviously this is about a girl, more specifically a coworker, who’s had me preforming mental calisthenics for the better part of a year now. More to the point, she comes across as outgoing, and has no problem carrying out amiable conversations and interactions on a regular basis… With the exception of myself, that is. As for us? Our interactions are few and far between, mostly due to circumstances at work, but still scarce none the less. When we do talk however there are key differences. She’ll come off as less forced, more thoughtful, and in some cases even timid. Oh and eye contact; Lots of it. On more than one occasion she’s given me this look as if I’m the only thing left on her plane of existence. Aside from that our conversations are usually playful and often laced with teasing.


But as pleasantly enigmatic as our conversations and run-ins might be, that only describes like 10% of our relationship. The other 90% feels like her ignoring me with a few more eccentricities thrown into the mix. If she passes me, she’ll deliberately make an effort to look everywhere (even the back of her skull) but me. On the off chance that she does acknowledge me it’s usually some coy quip or an almost somber “Hi –“ as opposed to her usual jovial greeting with everyone else. Despite this it feels she’ll make an effort to walk past my station at least once a day to get to the breakroom even though I always rotate stations. I’ll also catch her looking in my direction at times, only to look away when I make eye contact. Sometimes she’ll make a show of ignoring me, like when she greeted a coworker who she has grievances with and not me, even though I was right next to him. On the other end of the spectrum she’s done a couple of blaringly obvious things to get my attention as well. She’s literally called out my name across the room to tell me something to the effect of “the sky is blue” before. And sometimes she’ll cut in on my conversations and shift the attention to either me (usually teasing) or herself. Oh and did I mention she likes to tease me? Openly?


Under normal circumstances I’d take these as signs of interest, but a lot of the time she just seems so distant with no intention of closing the gap. For a while I thought it was just me overthinking and possibly projecting, but recently she offhandedly mentioned that I “confuse her” which means I’m not the only one being thrown for a loop. In her defense I can come off as tepid and aloof, and she’s left being the one to initiate 9 out of 10 times. In my defense I’m an idiot with a poor grasp on social etiquette.

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There's barely any responses on here because you didn't ask any questions.

I am assuming you want others opinions on what this girls behaviours mean. Well, truth be told, we can only guess and probably less of a guess than you, as we don't know anything about her.

It really is a 50/50 from what you wrote that she is either interested in you, or she genuinely doesn't like you. Not sure which one.

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It really is a 50/50 from what you wrote that she is either interested in you, or she genuinely doesn't like you. Not sure which one.


So no inbetween huh? Haha, I think I prefer it that way to be honest.


Thank you for the reply, and I supposed if I were to summarize my post in the form of a question it would be: "Is she interested in me, or am I reading too much into it?" But if it's the latter, I feel I have good reason to. Just the other day her friend deliberately came over to compliment my attire, engaged in some flirty banter, then left to go back to her (the girl in question) and gives her the rundown of our short interaction, to which they both proceeded to share one of those girlish laughs over...


I mean seriously, what am I supposed to make of stuff like this? Assume interest? On who's part? It's all mind wracking really.

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If you don't mind me asking, how old are these women? Because they are acting like little girls. It's immature. I could understand if say you were all around late teens, early twenty's? But even then I would question the mentality as this sounds like a scenario from grade school. Why would you want to deal with that?


Seriously, what is wrong with people these days? It is always mind games? What happened to the days where if you liked someone, you got to know them and asked them out for a nice date. No complications, no games.


What you're describing sounds like a little girls game. You might want to reconsider if you even wish to become more involved. I personally would take a pass. Life is too short for nonsense and bs.

Because I have seen people behave like this before, it really could be a game to them. Something to keep work interesting for a short while. It sounds draining to me and not worth it.

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Early twenties, but yeah... I can admit it's still pretty juvenile. From what I've observed she's more guarded than average. And from what I've gathered, she's also less experienced in these matters as well. I feel it's due to these nuances that she comes off as roundabout as she does. That, and my aloofness up until recently hasn't been of any help.


I can't say I've given much thought to a relationship, but I don't think I should dismiss the idea of it all together based on what I know of her in a working/casual capacity. As long as she doesn't have any substance or behavioral addictions, associate with a bad crowd, or display any manipulative/narcissistic behavior I think a relationship is worth exploring if circumstances permit. Besides at this stage of our lives, I think I can let things like immaturity and uncertainty slide; within reason, of course.

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