Please Help!!>>>Word of advice

[RoxyBabe17]

I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 9 months now and being as we're only 17 and young some people might think this is a little overeacted?? Maybe not...here.goes.. we've been going out for quite some time now and we are in love but the last few months I've been noticing a heck of alot of porn consuming on his computer... When I saw it which was by accident, I was soo upset only becuase our sex life is great (or so I thought)and to me it felt like maybe I wasn't good enough for him or maybe he thinks these women look better then I do...but anyways back on topic. I left and he ran after me, asking what was wrong...and I told him what I had seen and he said that his 19 year old brother goes on and deos that but the computer is passcoded and his brother has his own labtop upstairs in his room so it didn't make alot of sense...after that I dropped it. But recently he makes all these ( what he calls "jokes") saying how he stares at these women all night and he pauses the screen and just "stares" , and he makes jokes now about watching porn and I don't know whether to take him seriously but it still hurts ..alot...we had another discussion recently and he told me that he would never do that while he was going out with me and he only wants me and blah blah blah ..half of me believes him but the other half deosnt, his other friend said he used to have some sort of "addiction" to it a year or two ago... I just love him so much and can't stand the thought of losing him however I dont want to go out with someobody who worships his computer "porn/women" over me ( not being selfish its just not right)

So am I right in accusing him?

SHould I stay with him or not?

All comments appreciated Thanx so much!!

[sadCara]

Wow, talk about complicated.

 

I honestly think that he is back into it. Or that is his old porn collection that he simply didn't delete. That happens with alot of guys. Men need to watch the porn, as ridiculous as it sounds....

Some women too, but i think mostly men. It's hard for a guy to delete the porn, they like to keep, " the good stuff".

 

I know your having major insecurities about this porn issue. Your worried that he likes these women better, that he is comparing you to them.. ..please dont' worry i was in your shoes once.

 

Try to believe him when he says that he loves you. It's not blah blah blah. You know him, you would know what is truth.

It's possible that the brother got the password to his computer, and is using it. Or he is using it. You NEED to have another converstatin with him about this, and explain how you feel about him watching other women.

For me it felt like i was being"cheated on" almost. But i got over it eventually. Men will be men. He still loves you no doubt, but try to make sure that the porn issue does not grow any bigger than it is now.

 

Ask him questions about what he does with it, tell him that his joking hurts you, and ask if he means it.

 

Trust me, you WILL feel better about this.

Porn is such a taboo topic in society, so we aren't used to it.

[RoxyBabe17]

Thanx so much Sadcara, it deos feel like he's cheating on me in a way its just that whenever he finds out another guy likes me he freaks..... I suppose men will be men im going to talk to him tonite about it any advice on what to say? Thank u soo much..

[RoxyBabe17]

ALso as well is there any gaurantee that this feeling will pass ??? I hate feeling like I cant trust him becuase in reality I can trust him more than anyone and I hate feeling insecure......

[7CardStud]

I don't think its something you 2 should break up over...

 

I feel the same way... But my g/f doesn't look at porn

 

She is just a very friendly person, and it hurts me when she told me she went out to clubs and parties while on spring break, although she didn't 'grind,' or drink. Still hurts to know another man is still with her, and its not me.

 

You can't help the way you feel, the best thing you could ever do is just talk to him about how it makes you feel. Tell him how you felt when you found that.

 

Just don't let this situation run the relationship, I kinda feel like my relationship has changed, I don't know yet if its for good or for bad Time will tell i guess.

 

Good Luck!

 

p.s. as for if the feelings will ever change... Honestly, my feelings haven't yet, but like all things, it takes time. I just hope I don't feel like this for a while, because its a very lonely and depressing feeling. The faster you get things straightend out, the faster you will feel better

[RoxyBabe17]

Thanxx soo much Im going to try and work it out and not get to worked up about it....I know im probley overreacting becuase i never felt like this with any one else I dated I guess this just means i care about him alot? Anyways thanx lots, u give good advice!! now i want to ask a million questions LOL

 

ps. good luck w/ your realationship as well