A Precarious Situation

[LuciaSeia]

Oh my my, what have I gotten myself into. I am in an utter disaster due to the circumstance i've created and have tried to get out of.

 

My bf, I have realized is rather obtuse due to his lack of confidence, social skills, and common sense! He often asked why I was with him, and I would always just skirt around around the question due to my loneliness from a recent breakup. I know, it's my problem for having stayed with him, but he didn't take advantage of my vulnerable state....now I realize, it's because he's more vulnerable existentially than I was at my very lowest point. Ok the point here, is his brother...is everything I have wanted in a man. He just moved into town for a while and based on what I've known of him and the way we looked at eachother I know we are interested.

 

So, I drunkly broke up with my bf last night after spending an evening with the two fo them and some friends. My friends all said there was an obvious wall between me and my bf......and all I could think about was his brother. So...am I right for having breaking up? I just couldn't handle being with him while thinking about his brother..and no. I won't even make this into a jerry springer scenario. there will be nothing between me and his brother.....

 

I'm just looking for affirmations that I did the right thing.

[RayKay]

Only you know if you were right for doing it giving the post you have put here - if you feel you were and things were not right, then you probably were right for ending things though maybe not in the matter you did. They could of been handled better (ie drunk breakups are seldom a mature way to go about things).

 

I hardly think though that this is an utter disaster - I think often some people tend to invite drama into their lives by creating it. Have you ever seen "Desperate Housewives". The one character Susan - played by Terri Hatcher - seems to have drama in her life all the time, but its because she almost thrives on it If this is the case for you, maybe look at your own behaviours that invite it in.

[passions1]

It's very difficult to be in a relationship with low self-esteem b/c they are like pessimists. And nobody wants to be with someone with negative attitudes. So if you broke up with him b/c of that, then that is understandable. But I wouldn't go for the brother regardless.

[evidica]

dont worry about dating his brother either, my g/fs dad dated his wifes sister before they got married.

[LuciaSeia]

I won't go for his brother.....even though I know we'd make a great match, physically, intellectually, spiritually...oh my gosh. I'm insane, I haven't felt like this about a person...ever.

 

 

How should I go about this? no contact? the past times I've broken up with him, he's always told me he'll be fine seeing me as just friends. We never had an intimate relationship, so I think I could do it easily...but his feelings are obviously alot stronger. I'm sad knowing I can't ever have a pesron I know I'd connect with.

[Day_Walker]

Putting the issues aside with the brother, if you had issues with you bf and you found it valid to break up for those reasons then what you did was fine. As far as contact goes its up to you the way you want to play it. You know the reasons why you broke up with this guy and as long as you keep that in your mind then you know that you wont be getting back together, no contact would be a good way to go until a point in time comes when both parties have healed.