If you're typically a shy person in real life...

[easyguy]

...then wouldn't it be a bad idea to go into meeting someone online then meeting up with them in person? When you're online, your shyness goes out the window, then when you meet the person in real life, does the shyness you once have go away still or are you still shy? Because the relationship wouldn't last long if the person knew your personality and whatnot and it changed completely when you meet in real life.

 

Or am I wrong about this? Does being really comfortable with talking to someone online also carry over when meeting someone in real life? There is this girl I've been talking to online a lot lately, and we've been considering meeting soon, but I'm not totally sure if I want to meet with her (even if we both bring a friend) because I can be shy around girls. I fear the person she sees in me online (not shy at all) is not going to really be the same in real life.

[kskm]

Nope, once you meet her in real life you will be shy. It doesn't matter to what the extent of the conversations are, you will still be shy. And also I wouldn't ever tell someone that meeting online is a good thing because your shyness goes out the window. That isn't the real you, that's like meeting someone while you are drunk.

[mjctraider]

I have to agree with kskm about some of the points she made. I talked to a girl recently online and I'm extremely shy in person, but we would talk for 4 or 6 hours every night and I was very outgoing. We finally decided to meet and I was back to my shy old self again.

 

However there are times were I talk online and I'm quite shy, but only because the person is focusing on my shyness and not in getting to know me. Anyway I've given up on the online thing for now and figured I'd try meeting someone the old fashioned way, lol.

[Rigel]

From my experience, I don't think the shyness would be gone even if you've talked to the person for months. I have some very good online friends but I highly doubt I could chat with them in person as smoothly as I do on the net.

 

There's just something about the lack of face to face that we get over the internet that just pushes the shyness away...for a while. Plus on the net you don't usually get those long awkward pauses that you do when speaking in person. And if you do hit a silence period it's not that obvious online at least I don't think so.

 

Maybe if you're a bit nervous about meeting her in person, you could try something in between like get her phone number or something. That way, you are able to maintain a closer contact with her but not actually have to speak to her face. I dunno...I just kinda view it as 3 steps:

1.) speak on the internet through IM or e-mail

2.) speak on the phone

3.) speak in person

 

I hope I helped somewhat

 

Best of luck to you!

 

~Rigel

[BCBoy81]

I've found those I've met online, I'm more comfortable with them in person. The only explanation I can come up with is that I trick myself into thinking I already know them and I'm thereforeeee just the same goofy person I always am.

[ShySoul]

If your shy, your shyness won't go completely out the window even online. The important thing is to be honest. If you really get along with the person online, make sure they know who you really are. That way if you are a little shy when you meet in person, it won't be a shock. And you'll probably gravitite to someone who is also shy, even online, so it would just be something you have in common. The first meeting offline would be akward anyways, and it's worse if you haven't been completely honest.

 

I can speak from personal experience. I am really shy in person. Online I'm still shy but can open up easier. I got to talking with one girl and we got along really well. Thing is, she is shy as well. But because we could relate to each other so well, including the shy thing, we got along even better. Meeting in person was strange at first, but once we got into it things went wonderful. I wasn't shy because I really got along with the person and was comfortable around her. So just because you are usually shy doesn't mean you will always be, not if you are around someone you can relate to, are honest with, and really feel you can trust and be comfortable with.

[easyguy]

Thanks for the replies, guys.

 

I talked to her online earlier today afterschool. I basically told her that I tend to be shy (not SUPER shy) around girls (especially ones I like). We've been talking online for like 2 weeks now. She kinda said the same thing, that she'd be shy, too at first. We both agreed at it'd be akward meeting in person so soon, so we figured we'd give it a lot longer before we thought about meeting, even if it was very casually (like to a ballgame with a friend each). I've been pretty honest with her when we talk, so I'm not like making up things about my personality.

[AzureSkyes69]

if at all possible double(bring a friend and their girlfriend)

maybe more fun that way and it takes the pressure off.

[Prometheus]

Hi I'm new here but i can relate to this subject a lot!!!

I know this girl.. i live en Denmark and she in Germany... its a 5 hour drive from where i live ive calculated!.. hmm but well we have been talking great for the last couple of years and used webcam and all that but we still have not met probably because we both fear that in some way we will screw things up on the first meeting!.. hmm as time has gone I've started to get feelings for her she is really nice sweet and she is always there for me and the other way around! hmm i would like to meet her in person but as told we are both usually pretty shy! so we have been putting it off and off but well when we get to this summervecation we have both desided that it is time to meet.. she knows how i feel about her but im uncertain of her feelings! and i still fear that even as I have told her and she me a lot about each other that she in some way wont like me when we meet!.. and thats a nother reason for the offputs is that we both fear of loosing each other because we really use each other as walls to lean on!..

hmm don't know if this schould have been in a new link thoug!

I hope you all understand my poor english!... hehe so if enny one have some comments on my situation I would be GLAD to hear em!

just a littel notic ive never scored a girl before!.. hmm had this one incident recently but well she went back to her X that's a much longer story and she really hurt me!..