Should I take action? Or just see what happens?

[iceguitarstar]

OKAY THIS IS GOIN TO BE SUPER LONG BUT I NEED TO GET IT OUTTA MY HEAD AND I WOULD LIKE A LIL IMPUT. I don't know what to think about this friend of mine. We do absolutely everything together. I have been friends with him since last summer. We watch movies, go shopping, go out to eat, hang with eachothers friends, go to the bar, go to parties, hang out wit eachothers families, and whatever else. I met him this summer at work. I work at a resturant that is connected to his work which is a gas station. Anyway, I started this job last summer. He came in and kept talking to me. I was with my boyfriend at the time and started having problems. My bf at the time cheated on me with someone way younger than me. It hurt. I kept telling myself that i wouldnt have a relationship for a long time. My girl friend came one night after i closed up at the place and we talked a little in the parking lot. She is pretty religious and she helped me out because i was really upset. My guy friend was working and we only talked a little at the time. My girlfriend told me that everything happens for a reason. I totally believe that now too. I believe im writing all this garbage for sum reason too. haha. well she said she wanted to pray and i said okay. We prayed and i prayed to god that i could find a guy that is nice and everything that would take my mind off of my ex , even if it were to be just friends or even more. But i knew i needed someone to take my mind off of things. No, i dont need a guy to keep me happy, my life was just blah after that. Anyway lets call my guyfriend, Brian. Brian got off of work that night and came over and asked what was wrong. I told him and he consoled me. The next night was a townfesteble type thing. He invited me. We went to the street dance and then the bar and then to his friend's house. I have never had so much fun since ive met him, nor so much pain. At this point i still only thought of him as friends. I remember that night we went to his friends after the bar and had a few to drink. We were sitting around bullsh**in and laughing about everything. We almost kissed, but then his friend came in from outside and we just dropped it and went outside. I went home that night and he kept callin making sure i made it. ... which i wasnt that bad. We started hangin out even more after that. I was staying out of trouble and everything. We even went to a lynyrd skynyd concert in a summerfest deal for a near by city. That was one of the funnest things i have done for so long. As of this point nothing has happened between us. Everyone starts asking even his friends, if we are together or messin around. We both are like no. There has been one point like around holloween that we started drifting away from eachother. Else everything has been awesome. During superbowl this year, we drove up to his sisters house and kicked it there. It was great. I drove home that night and it was about a 3 hour drive so i wasnt drinking. He ended up gettin way too drunk off of sum strong vodka. He never gets drunk usually so it was crazy. His sister and whole family loves me. His sister has never liked any of the girls he has brought around until me. Anyway, i was hopeing that would be like an omen of some kind hehe. So i drove on the way home and he was starting to get outta his drunkiness. We started talking about everything. There was this point when he liked one of his friends. She hates me, but i dont have a problem wit her. He told me all this stuff and finally stopped liking her. They barely ever talk now. 8) it makes me a lil happy. He also talked about how his sister liking me says alot and i asked if his family influences what kind of person he would be with. like his sister likeing me, would it make him be like oh maybe i should be with her. Well about a few weeks ago, me and some of our friends decided to have a lil party down the street from my house. We sat around and played poker and drank and listened to music, and had a good time. I was sittin between Brian and a friend on the other side of me on a couch. It was like 130 in the morn and they cut me off of beer cuz i had to make my 2 houses away drive to my driveway. Well Brian took my beer and I was like just lemme finish it. He said he was gunna finish it off. I was leaning over to him trying to get it from the end table. We just kind of looked into eachothers eyes and kissed. a few times. Me, being stupid, didnt know anyone seen....yet we were practically in the center of everyone. There were only 5 other people there. But still two of the guys that were there have had crushes on me at sum point and still do. They made a big deal about it. I loved it. I had wanted to kiss him for ever. I kept thinking, when will we move to a new step. He is my best friend and i have never felt this way before as i do with him. Its weird cuz people say they get this feeling sometimes and I dont even get this feeling wit my other friends that are close. Everone asks and stuff still but we both just say, we already discussed it we are jus friends. And yes at one point last summer we did discuss it and he told me that he didnt want to ruin our friendship, but that was like along time ago. I totally get what hes saying too but just so many times i would want to jus kiss him. Tonight he stopped by my house and invited me out to eat. We went out to eat. It was fun. I just get all confused because we talk for at least an hour or more every single night. We even talk in the morning sometimes. and all the time in the afternoon. I start to wonder how we have stuff to talk about for so long. I usually hang out wit him at his house watching movies together each night. I recently went on a trip to florida a couple weeks ago. I remember i talked to him for like 2 minutes that night. He was bein a lil weird. This one girl i work with has known him for a while longer than me. She is younger than me by like a year. She has been having problems and just got out of them. Her and brian went to a party together at our friends house. They ended up making out that night after everyone found a place to crash. It makes me mad becasue I feel like i was used. I am a senior in high school. She came up to me at school on the monday and asked me if i had feelings for him. I said i don tknow. Obviously i do but i didnt want to sound all obvious. She kept asking and said she really needed to know. And she said she knew i did. She said she has always been able to tell. I said okay, a lil i guess. She told me that she had feelings too. That set me in a depression for a week. I know this sounds reallly gay but i felt used. and I almost killed myself that night. I know that sounds even more stupid but that was a result of the last straw bein pulled. HIm and HER and also an ex talking trash, and just the state i am in sumtimes. My main problem was that he didnt call me that night and when i called him he said hold on im talking to ____ ill call you right back. And he never did. She did tell me that her and him wouldnt be anything if i told her that i liked him. Which was very respecable of her. She is a friend to me. They still talk but they are nothing now. YES i was jealous but what was i to think. Even our friend has asked me so many times about why we dont hook up. He is always like you and brian are so close to eachother you both get along and laugh about everything....its like you are in your own world together. you both are practiacally dating...he said. You both know where the other is at anytime and know eveything about eachother. I was like i know it seems that way but we do everything as in friends. His sister even has asked me before why we dont hook up. I just dont know tho. I dont know what i would say. I dont want to be rejected either. But I am moving to the cities in minnesota this summer for college and he knows. He is trying to find a job there now. He pays for all my food and movies and everything whenever we go places. Its weird if you get what im saying. But i know that if he was to hook up wit any girl, i dont know what i would do. Its like he leaded me on this far and vice versa. I need a little imput on if i should tell him or just wait and see where this all goes. I know this is really long. Im sorry i just needed to get this offa my head.

[Mun]

Hi there,

First of all I want to say that even if the entire world thinks you and Brian should be an item it really won't make a difference if Brian does not think so. He is the one that has to be interested in you enough.

 

I also think that in order for you not to feel used anymore you are going to need to stop with the kissing. Until that happened things were kind of up in the air, but you were having fun. A kiss is really just a kiss, not a promise of any kind ( unfortunately huh ) If I was you, that time when he said he would call you back and didn't, I would not have called him again.

 

Now you are going to need to keep up with your plans for school and whatever other things you want for your future. Don't plan anything around Brian. Let him plan around you if he is really serious about being close to you. Maybe he is just a really slow mover--some guys are--so let him move at his pace. In the meantime, don't give more of yourself than you are getting ( from any guy) if you are just friends.. stay as just friends. It will help you avoid getting very anxious and wanting to speed thigns up. Enjoy yourself, but protect your heart.

 

Be smart, good luck