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How to make sure I'm not being led on

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Hello this is my first post on here and i'm not really sure how to write it all down so please bear with me.


So my wife of 5 years broke up with me about a month ago now. It all started about 5 months ago when she suddenly became very moody and distant with me all the time. i Just put it down to pregnancy hormones as she was pregnant with our 3rd child at the time. Turns out it wasn't just the pregnancy and she was cheating on me with another guy. She half got caught half confessed and we tried to work things through for the sake of the children and because despite this I still loved her. Obviously things didn't get better and she split up with me for good a couple of months after, once our daughter had been born. I'll admit I was crushed and it has took me a long time and some counselling to try and get myself back together.


Fast forward to now and she is now in a relationship with the guy she cheated on me with. I still see our kids everyday. I work 6-2 weekdays so I can finish work pick them up from school and spend an hour or so with them before I go back to my parents house to sleep on their sofa.


My main problem is when I know the other guy isn't at our house my ex will call me and text me almost constantly or keep tagging me in silly photos on facebook but when I know he is there (he comes over when I go to my moms the kids have told me) she will completely blank me. Even if i text her first I might get a 2 word reply an hour or so after. I also stay at home with ex and kids at weekends when they are off school and if kids are off busy playing she will ask me for shoulder rubs and hair stroking and give me the puppy dog eyes the things i always use to do for her when we were together and me being the idiot i am i give them to her because i still have strong feelings for her we even still share the bed on the weekends although nothing happens.


It all came to a head a few days ago when first she texted me out the blue with "i love you", then she asked me to come over and watch our youngest daughter so she could get some sleep because she had a rough night (which im pretty sure is a lie as she sleeps through the night now) its more likely she was up all night with the other guy. Then while I was there she asked for hair stroking because she had had a few stressful days so i gave her that. Then the other guy came over to drop something off and she pretty much hid me in the back room asking me to make sure the dog doesn't escape and completely blanked me for the few minutes he was there. After when I confronted her about it she replied that she was with someone else now and I had to get used to it.


So my main question is is she just using me when the other guy isn't around or is there a chance she might want me back so should i stop giving her things that she wants or continue and hope that it might lead to us getting back together and if i do stop how do i tell her that im not going to do these things anymore without coming off like a jerk as she is my kids mother and i dont want to upset her or be mean to her.


Sorry if this doesn't make sense to anyone i'm not normally great with words

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