'Closure' dragging out

[DrkHrt]

I am finally coming to terms with the fact that my relationship is over. It's still hurting me deeply, but I am being respectful that he feels this is best.

However, we do need to meet one last time to 'close' things (we have a joint account to close and we also need to return some belongings).

I am becoming frustrated because I keep trying to arrange a date to do so, but he's always 'busy'. This only requires a couple of hours of his time, so I don't get why in several weeks, he cannot commit to meeting me to do this.

He said that we could do it on Feb 15 for 2pm, and I agreed. I was extremely tired that day, and I dragged myself out of bed and got ready so that we could do this. I don't hear from him all morning. It is then like 1.35pm and still no word, so I text him asking what is happening.

5 mins later he texts back apologising for 'oversleeping' since he is tired and overworked. Which pissed me off because he is the one who wants to move on, yet he couldn't even get out of bed to come and meet me. I was just as tired as he was, but I was up. He told me he would be up to an hour and a half late, and I had other things to do that day, so I told him we would have to reschedule.

Then he said he was free all week after 2pm, so then a couple of days later, I suggest meeting on Saturday after 2pm, but he said he wasn't free. So by this point I'm thinking, what the hell.

Now he isn't going to be free for at least a week as it's his birthday week now.

So I asked him when he will be free next, and he just said 'whenever we get a chance'.

 

I am hurting. I didn't want this breakup, and I did all the begging and holding on (all the stuff you shouldn't do) and now I'm actually RESPECTING his wishes and yet he doesn't seem committed to closing things.

Is he purposely dragging this out? Or am I to genuinely believe he is 'busy'? I can't figure it out, considering HE is the one so determined to move on.

[Matt3939]

This would make me frustrated as well. I do what I say I'm going to do. I'm thinking he just doesn't want to deal with it. However you said it was an account? I'd just keep tabs on it make sure everything is there just in case. Good luck

[DrkHrt]

It was a relatively new account and I hadn't put any money in there. So that's not an issue.

Yeah, it is annoying that he wants to move on, and I didn't, and yet I'm respecting his wishes and trying to just finalise everything so that we can move on, but then there is always some kind of obstacle.

I don't want to deal with it any more than he probably does. But I'm actually being proactive in this situation and I don't feel like I'm getting the same.

[J Miracle]

Do you really need to meet in person for this account closure? If there's any way you can achieve the closure without him, or online, do it.

 

Drop the belongings off at a mutual friends or with one of his family members. This one is easy.

[DrkHrt]

Unfortunately the bank requires us both to be present for the account closure. And one of the items that is being returned is valuable.

I have no issue meeting him, but it's just the fact it is dragging on unnecessarily.

[Anony514]

Yeah, he seems to be dragging it out. Next time you talk I would bring up the bank acct again - saying it takes two ppl to close. It seems like he doesn't want to deal with things, but bringing up the bank acct might remind him this is a "business only" thing we HAVE to do.

[DrkHrt]

Anony514 he knows that the bank account thing is a serious situation. It was actually him who told me we both have to be present, because I initially didn't want to be present, but then I checked with the bank and found out I did.

There's little I can do at this point. I just have to wait. No matter what I say, he will repeat that we can meet when 'there's a chance'. That's just what it is, unfortunately.

[DrkHrt]

I made it clear that unlike the other times we have been here, after this 'closure', it is unlikely that we will ever talk/see each other again. He usually knows that 'over' does not mean is really over. But I have made it crystal clear that once he walks away this time, that's it. Perhaps the total finality of 'us' is something he hadn't entirely anticipated.