Was my last message to her the right thing to send?

[AMC1995]

I broke up with my Ex 3 weeks ago. Pretty much the reason why we broke up is that the situation isn't the best for her to be in a LDR right now , with her worrying about college and moving to a new state and such; she didn't like having all this pressure on her right now. She wants to focus on her school(she takes her education extremely serious and first priority) and live her life as a senior in HS without worrying about how we'd deal with a LDR while we're still across the country from each other when she heads to college. BTW, we were in a LDR throughout the whole relationship. We broke up in very good terms, no hard feelings or any complaints about eachother really. Outside of the timing and distance , we had and still do have amazing chemistry where I'm extremely confident that If i was in her area, we would still be dating. I must've cried like a baby when we were breaking up. The BU itself must've lasted 10 hours. Anyways, She left the door open for future possibilities, but told me not to wait for her. Understandable since I need to move on for myself and IF the situation comes up again, to get with her again. I know, not to have this unwavering hope.

 

I've been No contact the moment we broke up well until I told her how much I missed her around two days after the BU.. it sounded like I was begging for her to take me back.. hehe . She then blocked me on social media, except Skype, a tool we used to communicate very often. I want to believe that she blocked me to help me with the BU and herself as well so we could both heal. I can't know completely for sure since I'm not in her head. I sent her another text explaining that I of coursed miss her as my GF and was hoping for some Limited Contact but maybe that it would be best for us to stay No contact so we could both heal. I also mentioned in my message to contact me when she felt like the time was right. She didn't answer to that one, but I told her she didn't have to.

 

Anyways why I'm posting is that .. well Of course i'm trying to move on with my life.. but there's still a pestering thought within me doubting whether I should've told her I was going NC and to contact me when she felt ready to again.

 

I've seen throughout forums that not announcing NC creates mystery for the dumper sometimes and makes them think about dumpee a bit. You guys think it was right for me to tell her to contact with me when she felt like the time was right again? I just don't want to sound like I'm waiting for her even though in the back of my mind, I am hoping that in the coming weeks,months she'll contact me again.. maybe for a reconciliation. I just wanted to make sure she knew that the door was open for future communication since I don't think she knows that people go No contact to make their Ex-miss them and all that jazz. I just need some outside perspective is all really, but guys.. I love her so godamn much, she really is amazing and i made sure she damn well knew that even Breaking up. I've been NC with her since two days after the BU.

 

I know NC is for me, not the dumper. I don't need the NC talk really.

[Lost21234]

Your breakup almost exactly same as mine with her saying all that about stress and focus on her duties. She even blocked me like you. Turns out she was back together with her ex and didn't have the guts to tell me. Please don't get your hopes up as most of the time that's what is happening here. Thus is the last message I ever heard from her copied and pasted for you. See if it sounds somewhat similar

 

 

I was so comfortable not being in a relationship. Wasn't interested in anything of the sort until I started to get to know u. My life feels too complicated right now. I don't even know that not being together is the answer but I need to try. I'm not asking u to wait around for me but yes if and when a time comes where I feel like we could try again I will absolutely call. U have always been the most amazing thing that has ever entered my life. But I'm struggling with myself right now and need to make the girls and grandma a priority again. My hands r full. I don't sleep well at night and I'm feeling guilty for things I don't do with or for my girls that I should be

[AMC1995]

I trust my Ex when she said that there wasn't a guy in the picture during our BU.

If she gets with another guy say in a month, well hopefully NC will have helped heal me a bit by then.I'm also very confident in the way I treated her. Probably the damn best she might ever find in a while.

[Lost21234]

I edited my post for you. All I'm saying is move on asap. That message was almost 3 months ago and I've never heard from her again. And that was after we were together for almost 2 years

[AMC1995]

sort of-ish? She says that she's confused and doesn't know what she wants since we're both young. Her being confused + new chapter in her life IE college just made her turned off by the LDR relationship right now. She really didn't have a problem being in a relationship itself, just external factors affecting it.

[TiredOfDating]

I think it was okay to say that. You are leaving it up to her, she knows you harbor no resentment or animosity, she knows the door is open should she choose to come back. As long as you didnt say you'd wait for her. I actually left things with my ex in a similar fashion. We sort of argued for a couple of days following the breakup. But during my last email, I told him I was leaving it up to him to reach out if/when he's ready.

 

That being said, go NC, and STAY NC. I've seen myself very recently how being needy following a breakup actually has the opposite effect of what you were hoping for. My ex wanted time/space but because he originally blindsided me and he never fully explained himself, I didn't give him any real time to think and do what he needed to do.

[AMC1995]

Your breakup almost exactly same as mine with her saying all that about stress and focus on her duties. She even blocked me like you. Turns out she was back together with her ex and didn't have the guts to tell me. Please don't get your hopes up as most of the time that's what is happening here. Thus is the last message I ever heard from her copied and pasted for you. See if it sounds somewhat similar

 

 

I was so comfortable not being in a relationship. Wasn't interested in anything of the sort until I started to get to know u. My life feels too complicated right now. I don't even know that not being together is the answer but I need to try. I'm not asking u to wait around for me but yes if and when a time comes where I feel like we could try again I will absolutely call. U have always been the most amazing thing that has ever entered my life. But I'm struggling with myself right now and need to make the girls and grandma a priority again. My hands r full. I don't sleep well at night and I'm feeling guilty for things I don't do with or for my girls that I should be

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry but I think our circumstances are entirely different. Sounds like you were a rebound. I dont mean that in an ill-mannered fashion. Of course I need to move on, but I don't need to move on so fast because I think she has something in the dark that would hurt me.

[AMC1995]

I think it was okay to say that. You are leaving it up to her, she knows you harbor no resentment or animosity, she knows the door is open should she choose to come back. As long as you didnt say you'd wait for her. I actually left things with my ex in a similar fashion. We sort of argued for a couple of days following the breakup. But during my last email, I told him I was leaving it up to him to reach out if/when he's ready.

 

That being said, go NC, and STAY NC. I've seen myself very recently how being needy following a breakup actually has the opposite effect of what you were hoping for. My ex wanted time/space but because he originally blindsided me and he never fully explained himself, I didn't give him any real time to think and do what he needed to do.

 

 

 

I see. Well that's good hearing from someone else's story. I made sure not to say that I would be waiting for her thankfully. and YES trust me i'll try go to NC. It's been tough.. but I'm still hanging in there.. haha.This is a person I dont need out of my life, but I understand why she doesn't feel ready. I wish it didn't affect her the way it did.. but even still, If i want to become stronger for whatever the future holds for me I need to move on. Did you manage to contact your ex again after a while?

[HeartGoesOn]

I broke up with my Ex 3 weeks ago.

 

Given the fact that you broke up with her, what were you expecting to happen? She appears to be trying to move forward, which she should be doing.

[AMC1995]

Given the fact that you broke up with her, what were you expecting to happen? She appears to be trying to move forward, which she should be doing.

 

Oh whoops my mistake, I meant to say that while the breakup with my ex was amicable, it was more so she broke up with me.

[Iunderstand]

Go get another woman as soon as possible. Get someone local! This LDR deal is a complete waste of time -- what are you going to do?? Make out via SKYPE??? And be happy your our no longer in any way committed to that cheating witch. You are fooling yourself. She is with someone else now.. and probably was before you broke up. If she had a shred of integrity she may have waited to do anything until she broke up with you .. but don't count on it. She blocked you on social media so that you don't see all the 'likes' on her comments from the new guy or a new friend on the list.. at the top. Man up.. It hurts. That's what happens though and that's how you eventually find the right one. Pain is actually your friend because it forces you out of bad situations so you can find a better one. It's a growth process and you learn. Do not even contact her... no notes.. no nothing.. But DO find a friend of hers if there is one local to you.. one you can get with .. not the hottest friend.. just a nice one and hit on her like your life depended on it. Make sure it's a friend of hers .. someone she is close with.. And remember offloading this unfaithful witch probably saved you a lot more pain if the relationship had continued two more years. And by the way.. it's not amicable. She threw you under the bus .. don't sugar coat it. Hate her for wasting two years of your life and pulling this.. then go get better.

[TiredOfDating]

I see. Well that's good hearing from someone else's story. I made sure not to say that I would be waiting for her thankfully. and YES trust me i'll try go to NC. It's been tough.. but I'm still hanging in there.. haha.This is a person I dont need out of my life, but I understand why she doesn't feel ready. I wish it didn't affect her the way it did.. but even still, If i want to become stronger for whatever the future holds for me I need to move on. Did you manage to contact your ex again after a while?

 

We are only a week into our break up. He actually broke up with me in January but we mutually agreed later to just take a break for a couple of months.

 

Then last week, he asked to meet for dinner and said something very hurtful, so I ended the break and the relationship. That was last Friday. I have only been total NC since Tuesday.

 

It was during the "break" that I was a little needy. We never ended up making it more than a few days without talking, with him reaching out as well. And I think when they already feel they need space, and they feel we don't give them that space, they end up saying more hurtful things to give you that "push" to cut them off. Unfortunately once that happens, sometimes the pain and hurt from what they say makes reconciliation harder.

[AMC1995]

Go get another woman as soon as possible. Get someone local! This LDR deal is a complete waste of time -- what are you going to do?? Make out via SKYPE??? And be happy your our no longer in any way committed to that cheating witch. You are fooling yourself. She is with someone else now.. and probably was before you broke up. If she had a shred of integrity she may have waited to do anything until she broke up with you .. but don't count on it. She blocked you on social media so that you don't see all the 'likes' on her comments from the new guy or a new friend on the list.. at the top. Man up.. It hurts. That's what happens though and that's how you eventually find the right one. Pain is actually your friend because it forces you out of bad situations so you can find a better one. It's a growth process and you learn. Do not even contact her... no notes.. no nothing.. But DO find a friend of hers if there is one local to you.. one you can get with .. not the hottest friend.. just a nice one and hit on her like your life depended on it. Make sure it's a friend of hers .. someone she is close with.. And remember offloading this unfaithful witch probably saved you a lot more pain if the relationship had continued two more years. And by the way.. it's not amicable. She threw you under the bus .. don't sugar coat it. Hate her for wasting two years of your life and pulling this.. then go get better.

 

 

lol, someone's angry. I dont need to assume the worst possible scenario if I trust her.

[AMC1995]

We are only a week into our break up. He actually broke up with me in January but we mutually agreed later to just take a break for a couple of months.

 

Then last week, he asked to meet for dinner and said something very hurtful, so I ended the break and the relationship. That was last Friday. I have only been total NC since Tuesday.

 

It was during the "break" that I was a little needy. We never ended up making it more than a few days without talking, with him reaching out as well. And I think when they already feel they need space, and they feel we don't give them that space, they end up saying more hurtful things to give you that "push" to cut them off. Unfortunately once that happens, sometimes the pain and hurt from what they say makes reconciliation harder.

 

Almost a similar experience except that at first she wanted a break, but later wanted the breakup to really get that breathing room to think and get a good feeling of her future without pressure of being with me. I think with her situation, it affected her big time and her thoughts of the relationship. Who knows if she'll ever think of the relationship fondly again to want to go back to it. Growing up sure does suck alot lol.