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How do you find a date in my situation?


zuhairhadi2021

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Hello everyone,

 

So as the title says, how do I find someone?

 

I am an over the road truck driver and I am always(mostly) working.

That being said, I was in a relationship for a long time which ended because of my job I guess and she cheated and I couldn't continue with her.

 

I am still a man and wants what everyone else wants., to have a beautiful wife and have kids with her and grow old together? But if I don't even have time to meet new people then how am I going to even find someone.

Even if I find someone then I wouldn't be able to give them much time.

 

I am not super rich or anything, nor I have enough money to just stop working. So I can't quit my work or switch to something else. I have plans and goals in life and for which I need to work for my money so I can retire in somewhat decent financial position.

 

I am home for approximately 3 to 4 days every two weeks. And I don't want to go to the nightclubs and bars to meet women who might not be interested in a long term relationship. Most of the women I have met are there because they are looking for a short term fun time.

 

I am just confused about what to do about this women problem in my life.

I live in a small suburb (Skokie) very close to Chicago and I am originally from India. I have even considered going back to India and finding a girl over there but then things like these come to my mind.... I am almost never home, is it even fair to marry someone and put them through this difficult times of being away from home and their own country and now me abandoning her all the time.

Either way, it just seems unfair to me but what about my feelings and desires.

 

I know I should not put someone through this but I am 30 now and I am getting old and I want a family too

 

Can someone suggest me something besides quitting my line of work?

 

Thank you

Zo.

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The problem is that your line of work isn't really conducive to starting a family. Think about it, what women wants to raise the kids by herself, when her husband is home 3-4 days every two weeks, that's incredibly difficult. How is that even going to work if she is working too, since you aren't making a lot of money?

 

Not trying to be harsh here, but maybe you ought to get some money together and find another line of work, take a look at yourself (skillset wise) and find out what other kind of work you want to do and can do.

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I don't remember saying I am not making a lot of money... Just not quite there yet... I actually make decent money but just not enough to just retire or something.

And no I totally understand that no one wants to raise a kid on their own.

 

I mean, I do have a bachelor's in Computer science and I consider myself good at networking but I'm just not sure if I want to work in an office. I enjoy driving across the country and the adrenaline rush from driving through those mountains and such. Plus in an office you can always get fired. But when you are your boss in your truck... It's more secure?

 

I don't know... Maybe you're right. I can't get everything what I like in this life... Sacrifice is the key perhaps.

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Well I made an assumption that if you're gone most of the time, you wouldn't be making enough for your wife to not work. It's incredibly tough, cost of daycare has skyrocketed and a lot of working couples have trouble taking care of their kids (assuming if family isn't able to help out). I just don't think you're in a good position right now to start a family, I am not trying to knock your profession either, you seem to really be passionate about driving and I can respect that.

 

Maybe you could keep driving for a year or so more, just enough to get some money together, and seriously figure out something you could do that would keep you home more often. Just my thoughts on your situation.

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