what is wrong with me!!?

[Tinkyonks]

i was doing so well, hadnt thpught about my ex then something happened this morning and i just got really mad and sent a tirade because i was so angry. im angry that he just doesnt care one tiny bit and i just let rip.

 

now i feel rubbish, have felt rubbish all day.

 

ive deleted his number now and all the messages we sent over the past couple of years so there is nothing to look back on anymore.

 

this shouldnt be so hard... i was fine for 2 weeks, hardly thought about him and then all of a sudden bang! why??

 

plus i hate that its christmas and just wish it was over.

[Wiseman2]

Go completely no contact permanently and block him from all social media and your phone. Having some hurt or anger is fine, but continuing to send these angry messages that he never responds to will only bring you down.

 

Call friends, family, a therapist, anybody, but don't contact him.

 

If it helps, keep a journal and write your thoughts in there instead of messaging him.

 

i just got really mad and sent a tirade because i was so angry. im angry that he just doesnt care one tiny bit and i just let rip.

[rosecolored108]

Yes, you need to keep control of your emotions. Getting angry and sending your ex hateful messages is not going to help you heal or make you feel better. I know you may view that as an "outlet" but it only ends up keeping you negative and probably reinforces the idea that the break-up was the right thing, for your ex.

 

It is normal after a break-up to have good days, hell, even good weeks and months, and then one thing may just trigger thoughts of him/her one day. It is all part of the healing process. This will probably go on for awhile, but you need to learn how to control yourself and your thoughts.

 

When you start thinking negatively about your ex, switch that negativity to positivity and start to think about something good in your life (or a good moment you recently had or a good memory). Maybe even call a friend or family member to help you feel better.

 

Journaling is also good to get your emotions out, just be careful not to continually write about your ex, as it will keep you in that negative mindset. Write down some positive stuff too.

 

You don't know that he "doesn't care one tiny bit." Maybe he doesn't or maybe he is just good at controlling his emotions and moving on with his life. You should do the same. It can be frustrating knowing people may not feel the same way we do, but people heal in different ways, at different speeds.

 

The holidays can be tough, but try to focus on the good people and things you will have at Christmas.

[jah123]

Umm, it's completely normal after break-up, belive or not. It's just your mind playing tricks with you. It happens to me too sometimes, but I just simply don't pay attention anymore, because I know thats not what I really think, it's just my brain toying with me. The best thing is to focus your mind on something else. On something that you like or that brings you joy. Then you'll forget entirely.

[Tinkyonks]

i saw pictures of us last christmas, happy, it was good then. i dont even want this christmas. i wish it was over.

 

there isnt really any friends or family i can talk to thats why i come on here. sometimes i just feel so alone now, i hate it. im tyrying to just be by myself but i really hate it.

 

im getting tired of starting over, relationships always end and you start over again. i dont see the point anymore, feels like just to have some good bits until the heartache comes along a few years down the line and youre back to square one.

[rosecolored108]

Holidays can be hard when you feel alone. You do have us here on the board

 

Maybe, get involved in some hobbies. Meetup.com is a great resource to use after a break-up, especially if you do not have a lot of friends. It has a lot of hobbies on there where you can meet others who are interested in the same things as you.

 

I used it after my ex broke up with me...and I met a lot of cool people on there.

 

When you have a lot of failed relationships, that can be hard, but you NEED to stay positive. Negative thinking will only keep you in a sad, depressed state, and you won't be attractive for a new relationship.

 

When you are ready, you can try online dating too. Be confident and try to have fun. I know a lot of people that dated a lot of people and had a lot of failed relationships, but eventually found someone they clicked with, and it worked.