Should I Let Go

[Eva01]

Here's the thing. I have been friends with this guy since he became my next door neighbor and a classmate in 1996. My family moved away but we stayed close. He knows me better than anyone and vice versa. Last year he flew down from Washington to visit me for the weekend. We stayed up all night talking about anything and everything and when I fell asleep he would watch me for a bit. He even wrote me letters after our long talks telling me how being with me brought back the feelings he had for me and that he loved me. Even though he told me these things I didn't do anything because I had recently gone through a break up and I didn't feel that the time was right.

After he got back we talked just about everyday and still did until recently. I wrote him a letter telling him that I loved him too because I couldn't get in contact with him. When I was able to talk to him he said he had no reception because he had gone to a conference where his phone had no reception. He told me that he would call me later that night but he didn't. I found out later from my cousin that he had a girlfriend, someone he just recently started seeing and that he didn't tell me because he didn't want to hurt me.

He thinks the world of her and he's happy, which is something that I want for him, happiness. I even told him I was happy for him and wished them the best, even though I felt like crying. Before we told each other our true feelings, him having a girlfriend didn't bother me. Now with him having said what he did to me but now having a girlfriend has really hurt me and I know he knows this. I love him but I'm not going to tell him to leave this girl who he feels is the love of his life. What should I do?

[BillyJean714]

Eva01,

 

I've been in a similar situation like yours before. I know it hurts, especially when you first hear about 'the news.' But you know what? Even if things didn't work out for the two of you, like you said, at least you're happy knowing that he's happy with someone who will hopefully treat him right. This is one line that I keep to myself, "Sometimes, we just have to let go of the one's that we love" (whether it may be an ex, long lost crush, etc.)

 

The truth is, life goes on. That's the hard lesson that I learned. If things didn't work out the way that we intended for them to be, we just have to let it be. But, I do know how you feel. One of the things that kept me going was when I saw a picture of one of my old crush with this girlfriend. Although in some ways I felt hurt, I was happy at the same time. But now, I'm more happy for him than I am sad. I'm glad that the girl that he's with is a nice girl. And you know what, feelings change. So maybe in 5 years, you won't quite feel the same for him anymore.

 

All I can say is move on for now. Carry on with your life. I'm sure that if one door closes, another will open. And he won't be the last person on this planet that you will share that special bond with. Good Luck & take care... ~Billy

[Jennifern]

I agree... definatly just let him go, I know easier said than done but if its meant to be than they won't last and he will be with you in due time. Best of luck

[tahlia]

I can only imagine how hard this must be for you..from a prime example of really bad timing hey? dont you hate it when that happens. The thing is if he still really loves you then hopefully in due time things will work out. You obviously have a very strong connection. Have you talked to him at all, i mean guys can be pretty stupid sometimes, he probably wants you more than you realise but doesnt know what to do about it. Maybe you could even visit him and let him know how u feel in person.

 

I'm only suggesting this beacuse if you truly believe that this guy is the one for you and that u love him dont give up, don'e let go because another chance may not come around again for this. If he feels the same way then u are really doing the other girl a favour. I did the same thing a coupel of years ago and didnt say anything and now the guy i loved has been in a 3 year relationship and i have had no one since, i should have taken my cahnce. I know it sounds drammatic but thats my two cents.

[yellow angel]

LETTING GO IS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING TO DO BUT THE MOST BRAVEST THING A PERSON COULD DO.

 

cheer up! there will always someone out there for you.

my prayers are with you.

God bless you!

[Alabama]

Let go. It's hard, but you'll feel better in time. I'm sure of it. Good luck!

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Letting him go doesn't mean it has to be forever. It isn't like this guy is married to her. You know he has feelings for you. Do not contact him. Try and keep busy. If he has real feelings for you or could have, they won't disapear (and even if they do, they can come back when you remerge in his life.) As long as he ain't married, you got a decent chance of getting him. You just have to be patient, try and see other people and find an interesting one of them, and limit your exposure to this guy for the next year. Absense will either cause his feelings to grow once he sees you are dating again and more over him, or it'll make them vanish. But as long as you just keep in contact, you got a good chance of getting em if the feelings were ever there.