Day 7

[just jeff]

It's been 7 days since I sent my ex flowers…they were not sent with the intent to control her…nor an attempt to win her back. They were actually sent just to remind her of my feelings.

 

Her reaction to them was less than positive…she said they made reality sit in. I guess that meant all the talking we had been doing on the phone wasn't reality…just talking about our lives and children and how much we missed each other.

 

So today is 7 days since her last text message…I tell myself to be strong and not call or contact her…to respect her request. But she said it was over…her feelings for me are gone.

 

It's driving me crazy thinking a simple gift could set her off on this course of action; I expected anything but this. I wish I had a magic button (easy button) that I could turn off and on my feeling at will…

 

I want to text her and say…."Am I that easy to forget?"

 

Oh the joys and woe's of cell phones and the internet…*s* be safe in your journeys…I feel like I am dying a slow death…she has moved on…and so must I …but I am clueless what direction to take… the last 5-6 were pretty much mapped out…*sighs*

 

Later down this twisted path called life…I've made it a rule to never drink alone...I think tonight that rule shall be badly bent...*s*

[lady00]

I know you want to contact her...but don't. You will be much happier in the long run if you do not talk to her anymore. Sending her a text like that (which she will probably ignore) will just make you feel worse. Why not delete her phone number from your cell phone in order to avoid the temptation?

[GettingOverIt]

No Contact.... By far the hardest game I have ever played... And I lost, got creamed in fact... I blew no contact so many times, the scoreboard blinked out on me....

 

But, you are already up to 7 days! Keep at it, and whenever you feel like contacting her, contact us here instead....

[chai714]

They were actually sent just to remind her of my feelings

 

Jeff,

I think you would have been better off saving your money and not sending her any gifts. Giving of gifts should only be done when your "target" isn't sure how you feel about her (when she has doubts) or when love has blossomed. Although you say you didn't send them to control her, it will probably be viewed as a way to manipulate her.

 

Also, you say you sent them to remind her of your feelings. While it's good you want her to know how you feel, getting the one you want back has NOTHING to do with how you feel, and EVERYTHING to do with how you make her feel. I know it's tough having your heart shredded, but sending gifts should not be a viable option right now. NC though, is a good idea (minus any gifts). As a reminder, NC means: no calls, emails, text messages, gifts, or smoke signals. Keep it up until you can gain the confidence you had before you met her.

[just jeff]

Thank you both for the response and support. I have deleted her number in my cell and my landline…but…after a week or so…I would run into her in a chat room we both frequent or she would send a text that I felt obligated to answer, example:

 

"I know you do not want to hear from me, but it's a girl" this was in reference to her new granddaughter…so I sent back "Congratulations" and so it began again and truthfully I was happy it did.

 

"let me know you got home safely…I will be waiting for a call" that came at 10:30 pm…I sent back "excuse me?" …she said "oh I am sorry that was for Vic" her daughter. And so there we went again… I was happy we had opened the communication lines again.

 

So it's been on and off for a year…but this time I feel so uncertain, like this time she means it and is truly trying to sort out her thoughts…and her future.

 

Maybe you're right lady00 I should delete her numbers to lessen the temptation…but I almost have them memorized by heart…

 

GettingOverIt – I understand…I have tried NC before, but I did it way too late. I will continue to count the days…and hope they get easier…and I will not go back to the chat room to which we both belong as members…

 

It was so much easier to give my children advise when they were going to love pains…and here I sit mopping and having a pity party at my age…what goes around comes around…*s*

 

Later down the path….

[just jeff]

chai714,

 

That's just it…I thought she might be doubting my love and sincerity. She may very well have viewed them as an attempt to win or buy her back…but they weren't, and if she knows me half as well as she claims she does she would know that…

 

I also thought it would make her feel better…not me. Yes they represented my love and thoughts…but I wanted her to feel good…

 

I value your advice…all who can give honest views without sugar coating or slinging arrows is appreciated….

 

Sometimes the ones who are so deeply involved in the breakup/relationship are the blindest….can't see the forest for the tree's…So I do seek advise and it does make me stop and think…which is a plus when you're on the verge of doing something that damages someone who you value and love more than yourself…

 

Thank you….safe journeys…