Online relationships are depressing

[weakinside]

I met this girl thru a yahoo chat room last october. ive been friends with her and i still am. The thing is i didnt think i'd have feelings for someone i meet online and thought it was crazy, but here i am now having feelings for her..We talk everyday for hours and hours. Two months back she told me she got a boyfriend who was in NY..she introduced me to him and we all talked in conferences...Soon i became jealous and i told her how i felt about her and i still do, but she keeps on telling me that she's only seen me as a friend and if its destiny we'll end up together..well i was glad i told her how i felt about her coz it was like a weight that was lifted off of me. But yesterday she told me that she had cybered with her bf a few times, and i got angry, upset, just had a lot of mixed feelings.Thats when i realized that i still had feelings for her. And right now i feel so depressed, i tried to stop talking to her but i always go back..One time she told me that she was more open to me than to her bf, ( then why the hell is she with him?). Is she just leading me on...She is an awesome person and really fun to talk to but i really feel fed up and tired of what has been happening to me.. I dunno what to do, ive tried quitting yahoo, but that didnt work..lol..

[CrystalDawn]

yeah online relationships aren't easy I've been in one for a year now with my bf he lives in Lousianna I live in missouri. Since you've told her how you feel that might have helpped some. Try not to get jelous it will only drive you crazy. I'm not open with my bf either. I don't want him stressing over my problems. Anyway try to just be friends with her.

[greenowl88]

I think online relationships, unless you know that in the future you will be together in real life, aren't a good thing. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think, unless you know that person "in-person", you don't know who they truly are.

 

Although online relationships are fun, they aren't "real" relationships unless you see eahcother from time to time or talk on the phone regularly. Someone who only wants to have strictly an online relationship is probably hiding something.

 

Just be careful.

[MetallicAguy]

Well I think their stupid. Online dating is just a weak way of meeting people, IMO. Some people may think of that differently, but I think they're horrible. Who wants to ask their friend "Hey how many gf's have you had?" "10 1 in person 9 over the internet" LOL. That really sounds..really stupid. Meet people in person that actually live in your area. Crap like figuring out she has a bf and stuff like that is less difficult to happen because you could go out with the girl one time(since she lives in the area) and if you don't like her you don't have to go through that BS.

[shady]

well the thing is, how are internet b/f's and g/fs real?YOU can't tell if there cheating, if its always them talking to you, even if there real, like truly do care or anything, you don't know because you have never seen or spoken to them...you shouldn't stress over someone you have never met...true true you can have feelings for someone over the internet but remember...THERE ARE JUST PEOPLE OVER THE INTERNET..if you keep that in check and remember the difference between internet and reality it shouldn't bother you as much..just remember....good luck!

[weakinside]

yeah, i dont talk to her on the phone because her parents are "strict", so she says.she's called me once but left me a voicemail, i didnt have my phone on me....but yeah i also think they arent real, but what about these feelings.. trying not to get jealous is not helping much, either...

[shady]

i can't tell you much about how you feel, cuz as long as you talk to this girl your going to like her....if u want to or not....just don't let your jealousy show,...if you want to keep talking to her your still going to like her, the only way to stop that is stop talkin to her....which isn't what you want right?

[weakinside]

yes ive tried not talking to her and the maximum ive gone without talking to her was 4 days and she left me all these offline messages that she misses me and wants me to come back..lol..yes and i went back..i dont think i can stop it now..she's a good friend, and idont want to hurt her..

[greenowl88]

Just keep it a friendship then. If you know or think it will never be anything other than an online relationship, then continue to talk to her, but look elsewhere for a REAL relationship.

[Double J]

weakinside,

 

You already know she has a boyfriend. She even introduced you to him? Why do you insist on pursuing a girl that is not interested in you, let alone unavailable? My advice to you is to try to meet other girls to take your mind off of her. Also, try not to become so reliant on meeting girls over the internet. Use it as a secondary source, but it's always more gratifying to meet people the conventional way. Take it from someone who has ample experience meeting online girls in person. Experiences and circumstances may vary, but sometimes you might meet someone from online in person that could turn out to be different from what you originally anticipated.

[djedix]

When I was a wee lad, 15sh, i had an online relationship with someone from canada. It was cute, but it wasn't ever going to turn into something. It was nothing more then a few expensive phone bills. I could never do a LD relationship again...

 

I've met people online, dated a few, but pretty much everyone i've had a serious relationship with has been someone i've met in RL first. I'll say this, as time went on, and the internet expanded, The internet is a great place to meet people. But you got to becareful, because what happens is you build up this person you love to talk to in your head... but you don't know how they act, you don't know what there body language is. I think of online relationships, or using a computer in a real relationship (using IM to talk to you mate) is a great way to kind of get into the head of the person your talking to. Because if you think about it, your not really talking to the person, your thinking to them. Kinda like the fourms. We're not actually talking to eachother, but we're thinking to eachother.

 

In my past relationship we used aim alot, because i work later then she does, so she would come online and chat with me while im at work (since you can hide IM from your boss) Well not really it's really easy to track ims but i wont get into that. Anyways i always felt bad because she kind of hid behind her screen name when it came to us fighting, or having a disagreement. She was never brave enuff to confront me in person about stuff that was bothering her. (I do give her some credit for the way she broke up with me, she did it in person, and did give back the ring.) So i was kinda glad i had aim, because i knew i c ould connect to her, and get in her mind when we were on aim. In RL she would never let me in. Funny too the first time she contacted me in 5 years was on aim.

 

I still keep the internet open for meeting people. Yah never know is what i say. I've met some amazing girls in the past from online. Keep all your options open!

[weakinside]

Thank you everyone for all your replies. It helped me out a lot and i feel stronger and i dont give into her as much as i used to. Thanks again.