UGH! My ex's friends are spreading nasty rumours about me!

[Fif Angel]

Ok guys a few of you know now that I've been broken up with the love of my life, albeit supposedly 'temporary' for nearly a month and finding it hard.

 

Well last weekend I went out with a group of friends to a gay bar and club( two of my male friends are gay) and we all had an amazing night UNTIL I bumped into my ex's boss and one of his friends. Well I had to be polite to them and we were chatting and it all seemed fine.

 

NOW I have read some crap about me on a website saying that me and my boyfriend are split up now AND that I`ve become a lesbian and was spotted cannodling with a woman in a gay club!!

 

What utter crap- I can't believe his friends are doing this-I always thought they were decent people.

 

BUT what makes it worse is the fact that my ex has evidently been going arounf telling people that we have split up for good -before he even tells me!!!

This was supposed to be a temporary split and we weren't going to go spreadng it around but now the world and its dog knows thanks to these nasty malicious rumours!!!

 

I have NOTHING against gay people but that I was 'with a woman' that night-it`s such rubbish

[CarterJonas]

I wouldn't worry about it and I doubt your (ex) boyfriend will believe these rumors. Gay bars/clubs are fashionable in the UK, even for non gay people, hence why his boss was there?

[Fif Angel]

I know these places are really fashionable which is why it makes the rumours even more crap-but people appear to be believing it!

 

Even if my (ex?) doesn`t believe it the fact is that he has been telling people that we`ve split up whereas he told ME-that it`s `temporary`. That really hurts Probably more than the lesbian rumours (although they are also pretty unfair) It`s just sooo immature

[CarterJonas]

Maybe it is time to speak to your boyfriend to see what is going on and to clarify your relationship?

[Fif Angel]

Well we both agreed that he would be the one to get back to me-he said to give him a month, so I will. It`s very nearly a month now though so am starting to really really panic.

[annie24]

oh gosh - your ex sounds like such a jerk. I don't think this guy is good at all - honestly, forget about him, as fast as you can!

[Fif Angel]

Easier said than done though

[annie24]

You're right - it is very easy for me to say, "get over him - he's a jerk." However, when you're in the situation, I know... it's a lot harder.

 

You know - just a few nights ago, I was talking to my best friend on the phone. In college, I was IN LOOOVE with this one guy, even after he broke up with me. It wasn't until about 5 years later that I realized how hurtful he was towards me. I was asking her a few days ago, "why did you let me do that to myself? Why didn't you tell me to get over him!" She said, "I did! You didn't listen to me, so that's why I stopped saying it -I also didn't want to hurt you - I know that he really meant something to you. I just thought that he was a pompous jerk, but that you needed to see that for yourself. But, I was always there for you, and I was always more than happy to listen to you."

 

Oh gosh - I do love her for it.

 

Yeah, fif angel - you're right. You obviously have real feelings for this guy, and you were together for so long, it's mind-boggling how someone can change so drastically. So, take all the time you need. But, I hope you eventually can see what a special person you are and that you deserve someone who loves you dearly! Take care!

[Fif Angel]

Aw thanks Annie I guess I am seeing everything through rose-tinted spectacles right now but I am still very fragile post-break up so you all have to be nice to me!! lol

 

It`s funny but today I just look at my post and laugh. I mean, like Oscar Wilde said `The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about`.

 

And hey the ex came off worse than me-he was decribed as `increasingly chubby` lol poor sweetheart.

 

So the lesbian thing makes me laugh today- I`m like a little mini-celebrity with all these people watching me in clubs and the posting about it-sad!!! U`d think they had lives of their own.

 

The whole `temporary/permanent?` thing still niggles though-it`ll be one month tomorrow people!!!

 

So he`s supposed to be getting back to me then-will let u all know how it goes...

[BCBoy81]

LOL. Immature people will do that. Funny thing is, if these people know the REAL you, it'll just show how ridiculous your ex is.

 

Personal experience: When my ex and I split, she kept coming around to our car club meetings. I did stop going to avoid her, and that's when the rumors started. The funny thing was, EVERYBODY in the club knows who I am and they've known me for the past 6 years. After I had dealt with my own issues and started going back to the club (after hearing many rumors spread about myself) I was surprised to find that 95% of the club members SHUNNED my ex, and they DO NOT like her at all and the general consensus is many of the members wish she'd disappear as fast as she came in. *laughs* Everybody still treats me just the same, if not better than before because now they realize just what a screwball my ex was.

 

So, if these rumors are being spread around, here's a little advice:

 

Do these people that believe the rumors have any impact on your life??

If not, then ignore them.

 

Do you have any true friends that are believing the rumors??

If no, then you got some really good friends!

 

Ignore rumors. I do. Matter of fact, I have fun with them!!

 

One of the rumors my ex spread about me was apparently one night I spent the night with two lesbians. When a few people asked me about it, I just smirked and said "Yep. Both them girls are heterosexual now!"

 

 

[Fif Angel]

Ha Ha BcBoy, that was pretty funny!!

Lol you made me laugh there

 

I guess if anyone asks I could say that being with my ex was enough to turn any girl into a lesbian!! Lol

 

You are absolutely right-none of my true friends believe it, they all think it is kindof funny, in a pathetic sort of way.

 

I suppose the crux of the isues was not so much the rumour itself but more the fact that it comes from sources close to my ex, which in a way made me feel that he was somehow responsible.

 

Anyhoo-he really needs to get himself some better friends.

 

One of the `positive` things ( if u can say that) about breaking up is that I have found my friends to be a great bunch of really supportive people who have been there for me..

 

And my enotalone pals too of course