Ignoring me...is this a bad sign?

[Smitty]

Most people would think that if someone ignores you, its definitely a sign that their not interested. However, this is really confusing me and my friends can't seem to understand the situation either.

 

To start off, I want to say that earlier this school year I became attracted to this girl in my advanced math class. The first time our eyes met I felt this instant attraction. However, I tried not to let our eyes meet obsessively because I had previously been in a situation that started the same way and didnt go so well.

 

Because of this...I decided that I'd try to talk to her right away. So one day after class I went right up to her and asked her "how she was doing in math". She just responded "ok" and didnt ask me anything...I found that quite odd because it appeared she was interested in me in the way she looked at me.

 

So anyways weeks passed...and I soon found her staring at me again constantly...I tried to avoid it...but I soon started to fall for her...

 

Over this past year, I've tried numerous times to talk to her (strike any type of converstation)...even have written her a letter telling her that I'd like to get to know her...but she doesnt respond.

 

and just recently she flat out ignored me when i asked her a question- so now I've decided to ignore her also...but now she seems like shes depressed or something...and shes still staring at me with those ever so beautiful eyes. Can anyone explain this? Is she maybe shy? interested? or not interested at all?

[Kaia]

When she was staring at you and you look back (well how else did you know she was looking at you!), did she look away? or kept staring at you? Did she stare at you with a blank face or look like she is watching you looking back at her?

 

When she gave you those short answers, did she physically move away from you too? or she sticked around or lean closer to you? (if it's the latter then maybe she just find it hard to converse with you at the moment)

 

But since she is ignoring you, I would say she is not interested right now. Maybe you can ask her why she keep staring at you.

[Dre_7]

I had a very similar experience. My advice would be to forget about her. The girl in my particular experience did the same thing, she hardly talked to me, she would only ask me the same questions I asked her. Eye contact can mean alot, but even more important than eye contact is verbal communication. Girls talk alot with guys they're interested in, unless of course she's shy. You need to take eye contact for what it's worth. However, after the initial approach...what she says becomes more important than what she does with her eyes, or body language. Try to see how she is with other guys if you can...is she upbeat and talkative? or is she quiet and seemingly withdrawn? Perhaps, if she becomes quiet around you she might be shy. Or in the worst case scenario, she doesn't like you. Try to find out more, don't invest alot of time thinking about her, because it's not a very straightforward situation (there's no guarantee she feels the same way you do). I ended up really hurt when I saw the girl I was interested in with this other guy, and I could tell she liked him. It really hurt when it sunk in. Protect your feelings and try to find out more about her. In addition, don't come on to her too strongly. She could use it to her advantage if she's that type of girl.

[Smitty]

ok...when i notice that she is looking at me and i look at her...one of us usually looks away quickly. However, there have been times when I have sensed her looking in my direction looked over and she was! Of course, that happens all the time.

 

As for the short answers she gave me...when we were walking she really didnt walk away from me...but did seem a little avoidant.

 

its really confusing...none of my friends have given me any good suggestions...but there are times when I feel I've developed feelings for her as odd as this situation sounds....I mean over this past year, I've gotten to know some things about her by sitting by her at lunch. (I'm friends with her friends)

 

I've come to find out we have a lot in common...the only thing we don't- Is the fact that we cant communicate?!!!!!?

[Smitty]

or is she quiet and seemingly withdrawn?

she is that occasionally and especially around me...but when shes around her girlfriends shes extremly talkative

[Dre_7]

Sorry bud, but from my perspective it doesn't seem too good. In my experience, I had the same things happen to me. When I asked the girl if I could walk her to class, she told me she didn't know the way. Even though she had been taking the same route for half the year. Then when we got to class, she walked straight away from me when I stopped to ask her where she wanted to sit. Talk about avoidance! Also, Smitty. communication is key, if you're not communicating, it's not getting anywhere. A person might be nice to look at, but soon you realize you need to be able to talk to each other and that forms the foundation. I think your girlfriend should be your best friend first and foremost. At this point, I'd tell you to stick with it if you think she's worth it or find an attractive girl who will make it easy for you to communicate with her. Also, it's in a girl's best interest to make it easier for a guy she likes. Playing hard-to-get is counterproductive. You seem like a guy who would care about the girl, but don't give your all to someone who doesn't deserve it. And if she doesn't like you, it's her loss. Still, find out more from her friends about her if you can.

[DragonGirl724]

actions speak louder than eye contact.

 

sorry buddy.

 

-DG724

[Kaia]

If you're wondering that just maybe she is the shy type, well she should at least answer you when you ask her a question. It's just rude to ignore someone and she wouldn't do that if she is interested.

 

But if you want to test again before you really give up, next time you look at her and catch her looking too, don't look away but smile at her. See how she reacts. Try asking her question again, if she still ignore you or give you one word answer and look annoyed, you know the answer.

[Emotional]

i can't tell u anything u havnt heard yet...

 

Find yalls "common interest" the pros and cons about everything...

 

U may like something that she likes just as much as you and start a convo about that... find some things out about her through yalls group. why dont u do the check out thing...

 

it where u have a few friends watch as u walk by her and see if she turn and looks with googly eyes. If so then she may just be interested!

 

I think maybe u can try umm avoiding her for like 3 days and see what happeneds...

 

Dont seem to interested ...U know? I think u should maybe try acting more "busy" and " on the go" ya know what i mean?? us girls like to feel protected and know if a problem happeneds that their guy can handle it ...

 

It really helps to be involved in some kind of hobby, sport, whatever suits u best. I think u are just wearing ur heart on ur sleeve and that u need to toughin up a lil...Let her know that your not buggin off of her and that she needs to get her nose out of her butt and stop thinking her crap doesnt stink!

 

If u think shes worth the go and that u just can't get ur mind off of her, its a crush and it will go away. We all go through this. I think its just something u gotta have practice with...

 

Goodluck dude

[Lily04]

Yeah, I was in a similar situation except a guy I liked wasn't talking to me although we had amazing eye contact. I think he had a girlfriend though so that's why it was sorta awkward. If there was an initial attraction but she's already dating someone, this could be the case. If you sent her a letter & tried to talk to her on multiple occasions and she's *still* avoiding you, I'd say move on. I know it's hard, especially with awesome eye contact and especially when you think you guys had a great connection, but maybe she's just not interested for whatever reason... that's just my take on it.

[tanned_production]

She hasnt given you any signs that she's interested. are you sure she's staring at you?

 

honestly, i think its time to move on.

[Emotional]

you metioned that there was a lil eye contact

how long did it last for?

[MetallicAguy]

Ok dude, basically I just think that there is a possibility she likes you. Ok I think this is normal for shy people but, I'm shy (and when I didn't have the balls to do anything like ask women questions flirt, etc.) and shy people do those things. Especially if she's different around you and only you but different around everyone else.

[Smitty]

you metioned that there was a lil eye contact

how long did it last for?

not a little...a lot. As for how long it lasts, about 1-2 seconds

I'm not sure on the signs of interest...maybe someone can help me out there. How can I tell if she likes me if we don't even talk?

[MetallicAguy]

I don't know but if it's that long and she breaks off first then looks back at you when she thinks your not looking thats a good sign. Well duh, if that happens she likes you. Watch for signs like getting in your way on purpose (like walking accross the room to get something and purposely taking the long way to walk by you and get your attention). You can only be sure if she looks at you then touches her hair or plays with something right after the eye contact. Or if she's looking at you and playing with/touching her hair. Well Good Luck dude. Make sure you have open body language (Ex: No arm crossing, no Leg crossing, no head-down like your sleeping on your desk or looking at the floor; none of that.)

[Santa]

As others said, you have 2 options: Forget her, or view her actions as a sign that she is very shy around you. I personally would go with option two. TBH, you can wonder for ever if she likes you or not, but the only way you'll know is to ask her out.... or get a mutual friend (if you trust them) to find out if she likes you. Sometimes friends of mine that are girls might start a convo with the girl I like, and say good stuff about me, and ask her what she thinks etc, then if its good or bad, they report back etc.

Do something or move on. Doing nothing and wondering wont solve anything. Good luck mate!

[Smitty]

Ok,

 

First, I want to say that I really appreciate all the advice you guys have given me so far. I've decided to put her in the back of my mind for now, and just see what happens in the future.

 

However, here's the little twist to my story,

 

Before I had become "attracted to this girl," I was trying to get to know her best friend. I've got to say that we get along pretty well. Even some of my friends have told me maybe I should try to get to know her more instead of the girl I can't seem to talk to....But the thing is I feel this odd connection between the girl that ignores me.

 

I mean, ok maybe I'm thinking to much...but I feel if i was to persue things with her best friend, it may make it seem like I'm trying to make her jealous or something (that is if she does like me?) And I feel somehow I could ruin things both ways.

 

Should I be concerned about this...or just go for it?

 

I mean, I think her best friend may be interested in me...she smiles at me a lot and will actually "talk" to me..Like there have been many times this year we have passed each other in the hall and we have always smiled at each other.

 

and on occasions when we talk she will twirl her hair...(I heard this is a sign of interest is that true?)

[1899]

Your worried about making her jealous. I frankly wouldnt care. Go out with her friend if you like her. If she (the girl giving you a hard time) were to approach you about it, tell her she didnt seem interested in you and maybe cite examples. Go the path of least resistance.