Over 2 months after break up - going through a weird phase

[Lotusavx]

my boyfriend who i was with for for 4 years broke up with me just over 2 months ago..i am fine now in a sense that it doesn't eat me up all day and consume my thoughts every day anymore. a lot came with the break up - loss of our apartment, loss of our friendship but i am feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders without all the fighting anymore, i didn't realize how bad it was until the burden of fighting was gone. I'm going through all this change and I'm realizing that certain things I am doing that I am "masking" my pain from the break up with. I am constantly partying and drinking with friends, I am hooking up with guys I just met. This isn't good, and I can see this. Although I don't feel sad through the day and I don't even think about the break up/him, I feel like I am using certain things like drinking and casual sex as a crutch to help me cope or distract me.. I know this is so wrong, and I just wanted to know what you guys thought.. Thanks

[jeremymason]

You sound like my ex girlfriend. She went through the exact stage. Sad thing is that I really loved her. I never treated her bad or abused her emotionally or physically....I was just not good enough. After we broke up she immediately went on a casual sex spree and jumped into a rebound relationship with a complete douchebag. I had to watch all this unfold on facebook. It tore me up physically and mentally. I still love her to this day (even though I have a MUCH better gf now) but cannot be with her because I have lost so much respect for her.

 

To answer your question, no it isn't good, but you are doing what you have to do to get by. Everyone deals with things in their own way, so deal with it in whatever way you may.

[Maximus007]

You recognized it yourself, which is great, those aren't the healthiest ways to process a break-up. Being social is great, but substitute those with something less potentially destructive.

 

If you're stuck at a crossroad moment of avoidance or feeling pain, don't mask the pain. Feel it fully.

 

Short post.