G’morning everyone…just need to vent a bit.

[just jeff]

I have been ghosting these boards for quite some time; I've received some very helpful information and have tried most of it. About a year ago my soul mate told me we were finished and I admit it was mostly my fault.

 

I begged and pleaded…the normal dumpee reaction. It didn't work…if anything it drove her further away. She quickly moved on…I thought it was a rebound and accepted it; always thinking we were meant to be together and would be someday.

 

Life moved on and we tried the friendship route; didn't really work for either of us, but especially me. She begged me to date…to find someone who I could shower my love on. When I did start dating and she called my home phone and cell when I didn't answer she left messages such as "I guess you're busy…or just don't want to talk to me…that's fine Jeff….enjoy your life…you deserve the best."

 

I would call her back later and we would talk; I would tell her I was just out and about. She would ask if it was a date; then want to know how I met her, etc. Finally she said she didn't want to hear anything about the women in my life (she was still with her new companion). So late at night out of the blue she would call me…we often talked for hours. She would cry as she recounted the memories we once shared…and I admit so did I at time.

 

She had asked me to marry her 2 years ago (our relationship lasted 4) and I declined. I wish I hadn't, but at the time it seemed the thing to do. We've both made mistakes…it is a long distance relationship; we had planned on moving here and being with me. I have been blessed in life, with the rewards of a great career, so money was never an issue.

 

She says she still daydreams about decorating the house and landscaping the lawn; a hundred times a day. But this other relationship was supposed to be the "one"…I often asked if it was so wonderful and rewarding why does she still call me…and why does she continue to say she will forever wish things had turned out differently for us. If I were truly happy with a new relationship…I would be thankful the old one ended so I could find the "one" truly meant for me.

 

I think her other relationship has ended…she always said she would never tell me…she doesn't want me to feel as though I am the fall back guy, safety net or second choose. Life and love is often a game…tug or wills…I just needed to vent a little this morning…later down life's path….may you all find love and peace..

[darkblue]

amen

[darkblue]

very insightful,

 

i don't have any advice at all but it doesnt sound as if you were lookin for it

 

just to let u know that really touched me

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Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

Oscar Wilde