Online Dating Question For All Guys

[melrich]

Hi ShySoul,

 

Unfortunately there are many peopel in this world who find it difficult to meet the opposite sex. Maybe because of their busy lives, maybe because they are socially awkward, maybe because they live in small towns. I know myself when I was single at 30 I was not into niteclubs and bars, my work took up 12 hours a day 6 days a week and I just didn't have the energy to put into doing the necessary sociallising to get out and meet people.

 

If I just sat back and waited for things to happen I mught still be waiting and not engaged to me beautiful partner. Some people are like to just sit back and wait for things to happen, others like to get out and make things happen.

 

Al7 is right in the case of internet dating the more responses the better. Just like the meeting people in the flesh, the more people you mix with the more likely you are to meet someone you really connect with. His question is valid how many responses do you get, an following up from that what are some tips on how I can get more responses.

 

It is no different to the person going to a niteclub to meet try and meet someone. They will chocarefully what they wear and ensure they look good to make the best impression they can, or if you prefer the example of going for a job interview. You want to make a good impression. There is no reasson why internet dating is any less than any other sort of method to meet potential partners.

[al7]

My ratio would be 100%. Zero attempts, zero replies.

 

Ok, thanks, I guess it is not a good idea to promote having 0 attempts\replies concept.

richgabe explained above in detail why it is not good.

[ShySoul]

First, I know that it may be difficult to meet people of the opposite sex, especially ones that are interesting enough to consider anykind of relationship with. I've always disliked social situations with a passion, nightclubs and bars definitely aren't my thing, and judging from everything I've heard when I get out of school and into my chosen profession I'll be working insanely long hours as well. But that doesn't change my belief that love isn't something to be sought, it is something that seeks you.

 

I don't care what you do or how busy you say you are, things will come your way through the natural course of events. It could be at anytime in anyway. Maybe your coworker introduces you to someone at the company christmas party. Maybe its that lady you always see in the morning getting coffee. Love can happen at anytime. And I sincerely doubt that you would never see any women. Life presents plenty of opportunities on its own, you just have to be aware of them and not waste them when they come along.

 

I understand the thought that the greater number means more chances of success. But that isn't the case. I am around more females on average than males, and I have always gotten along better with girls. Yet, I've never had a girlfriend. The numberscan't make up for the fact that I simple don't have much in common with any of them. You can meet a 1000 people and not connect with any of them. Or you can meet 5 people and one of them is perfect for you. Numbers don't necessarily mean a thing.

 

Now when it comes to getting responses I would think that the best thing to do is to simply be yourself. Are you looking to meet as many people as possible or are you looking to meet one truly special person with whom something could start? If you are really looking for someone you connect with, then you will be better off not tailoring you profile to suit what you think people want to hear, but instead write what you really have to say. If you try to make a good impression by carefully selecting what you say or what photo you put up, then you'll get more responses but most of those responses will be wastes of time. You want a reply from someone who appreciates the real you, not the made up you to impress people. Those responses are the ones that will lead to a connection.

 

The analogy of a job interview fits what you are saying, but it doesn't fit the situation. Yes, you want to look good for an interview, and make a good impression. But you want to do that while displaying your own individual style. Then again, if you are comparing dating to a job interviewing, then you have lost sight of what dating and relationships are all about. It shouldn't be about making impressions or trying different methods. It should be about being you, having fun, and hopefully running accross someone who understands and loves you.

[al7]

1. I am not busy. I just do not have "the natural course of events" at all: I don't have basically any co-workers and no one invites me to parties.

I don't drink cofee either.

 

2. Cuz you cannot expand you view, man. You are in a huge city, whereas I am in suburbs. This is SO different.

 

3. If you a people person, yes, thats true. What if you are not? The online thing is to resort to online dating.

 

4. Maybe you just have plenty of female attention plus study a lot and do not give a crap about getting a gf who would distract you with more materialistic projects from your thoughts?

 

5. Wrong in my opinion. Try it. you have NEVER TRIED to say it doesn't matter. Try meeting 5 girls for a date and try 20. And you'll feel the difference. After 5 dates you will just get frustrated mostly likely, but 20 would most likely give a match.

 

6. You know the answer: if order to find one person you gotta meet hundreds.

 

7. It is true and not true at the same time. Even if you already met your great match, you still gotta try to dress well, to shave and in general be good. The same idea applies to a profile: you gotta try to do your best, otherwise women, your best potential match included, won't find it attractive and won't talk to you.