Hurt Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 I wish I have never met him. I finally gotten myself out of a bad relationship and started to really enjoy life. Yet I have to meet him n fall in love with him. N he left . If only I never had met him, I would be enjoying my life today. My life before him was happy. Sometimes bad things happened again n again that I feel so down right now. Unable to pick myself up. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 The grief loss you feel seems to be going too deep/long. relationships can't be used in place of antidepressants. Or improving your life overall. think about not ascribing his being there...or gone as the sole cause of life's happy/unhappy times. "My life before him was happy" it doesn't sound like it 6578602]I finally gotten myself out of a bad relationship Link to comment
Hurt Posted June 15, 2016 Author Share Posted June 15, 2016 I was feeling happy and relieved that I finally got out of the bad relationship. I was so happy when it ended. I started afresh n met the second guy. I remember thinking he is a gift to me after what I have been through n was so happy and grateful for meeting him. After I put in my all emotionally, I was crashed after he left me n got married one month later. I wish I haven't meet him. Now I am back to square one. I am unable to heal. Maybe the first time, I just think it is specific to that guy. But after the second time, I started to feel that everything and anything can leave. Just to quote, First failure , I think it was just unlucky. Second failure n I started to feel like Really bad. Link to comment
Matti Jr Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 I was feeling similar to you for a while. The long relationship was toxic, was happy once it ended, met a new girl and was very happy and looking forward to taking the next step with her before she texts me she wants a break with a lame excuse (I heard she was seeing someone else immediately). Don't beat yourself up. No one is going to make you happy, only you can. Personally I'm going to be much more cautious now in the next relationship. Link to comment
Hurt Posted June 16, 2016 Author Share Posted June 16, 2016 How does one heal? It feels so hurtful. And I don't really know what is causing the pain, loss of what? In terms of money, I can say I lost $1000. But in terms of emotions, I am not really sure what I lost. I just feel hurt. Link to comment
Cope Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 How does one heal? You forgive yourself. I am now grateful for one the WORST relationship of my life. Without it, i wouldn't be me. I feel so stupid for needing to be with such a jerk for so long, but it happened, apparently i needed to go through it. I was in a bad place in life and i saw him as a savior of some sort. I lost friends, gained one best friend and realized a hell of a lot of stuff from life. My first step was to forgive myself. Pat myself on the back and say, it's ok, S happens, you take this and make it a lesson. So i focused on myself and since then i am a super positive person and i will most likely never fall for a guy like that again, or at least get out sooner and not feel bad about it. This is a marvelous time to start therapy, it helps you get out of this faster! Stay strong and keep us posted! Link to comment
Hurt Posted June 16, 2016 Author Share Posted June 16, 2016 Can anyone explained why I feel so down? N hurt. First time I am able to recover but the second relationship failure seems to crash me totally. Please don't tell me that since the first time I recover, I will recover like the first time . These words doesn't work for me. Something has changed after the second abandonment . All I know now is I feel very hurt Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Because you need to see a professional to see why this is affecting you the way it is. It would help you to unpack some of the abandonment baggage and also assess if there are underlying issues with depression or other factors.Something has changed after the second abandonment Link to comment
Bing Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 Maybe you were not fully over the first one? You might not have realised that the second was a rebound and now you have to get over both Link to comment
Hurt Posted June 18, 2016 Author Share Posted June 18, 2016 I also wonder how am I going to move on. After the first time, I thought it was just an isolated bad relationship. Once bitten , twice shy. But I actually let myself be bitten twice. The second one really made me change my view of relationships. It happened again. So hard to heal Link to comment
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