How is everyone doing with their breakups this weekend?

[Jaela]

I've been trying to keep myself busy and occupied. Ex called me yesterday at work and was extremely nasty, sigh. My car got a flat tire on the ride home due to passing by an accident, so my car has been out of commission for the day. I've taken advantage of the opportunity to enjoy the day for myself and have been scrubbing my home clean, lol.

 

How is everyone else coping this weekend? What are you doing to keep busy?

[brando]

listening to music, cleaning, laundry real exciting stuff.....

[esboogie143]

Just simply HORRIBLE!!!!

[Micwu_25]

Worse day since the break up..did some very stupid things...I BEGGED!! and it wasn't pretty

[Jaela]

Brando, your exciting Saturday evening sounds like mine. I don't think my house has ever been this freshly scrubbed! What music are you listening to? I currently have Nine Inch Nails and the new Tori Amos album in heavy rotation.

 

Esboogie, I'm sorry to hear, hon. {{{hugs}}} We're all here for you. Are you currently maintaining NC with your ex?

 

Micwu, aww sounds like you've had a stressful day. Care to go into more detail on what happened?

 

* finishes folding her laundry and breaks out the vacuum * 8)

 

Now that my car tire is fixed, I think I'm going to go out tomorrow and pamper myself with something nice.

[Micwu_25]

Well...I asked if there is anything I can do to get her back and she said no. We were at a club and she was salsa dancing with her friend...jsut the two of them..I walked up to them and cut in and said i would like to dance with her..and she told me to go away...and that I was being rude..of course ...everyone was looking at the floor.

 

..probably not begging but it was just as bad

[brando]

Music: Im listening to Steely Dan and other Jazz. Just dont have the desire to go to the bars... plus i worked a long hard week and taking it easy tonight isnt so bad.....

[neverlearn]

Listening to music and trying to do some work. I can't seem to shake the thought of after a couple of weeks of NC, they will call and say something, anything......especially since I'm getting married in April!!! Yea, I'm in a bad situation. Such is my life.

[DN]

Listening to music and trying to do some work. I can't seem to shake the thought of after a couple of weeks of NC, they will call and say something, anything......especially since I'm getting married in April!!! Yea, I'm in a bad situation. Such is my life.

 

also a confusing one to someone reading the post. If you are saying you have very strong feelings for an ex but are getting married to someone else - it is a very bad idea to get married under those circumstances.

[neverlearn]

Not exactly having feelings for the other person, just wanting FINAL closure. I am truly in love and love my GF, but my ex of 4 years has recently resurfaced and I put myself in a awkward situation. She needed my help financially and I bent over backwards to assist. Last week she tells me to get lost. It's not the first time she has done that exact same thing to me, actually it's the 3rd. I should have known better this time......neverlearn.

[Fif Angel]

Well, I very nearly had an amazing night out last night.

 

It all started so well. My friends from uni were all home for the weekend so we all went out and hit the town. One of my friends is gay so we went to a few bars and then a gay club. We were all having such a laugh, knocking back tequila slammers and dancing the night away.

 

UNTIL.. whom do I bump into but my boyfriend`s BOSS, whom he happens to idolise and one of his friends, who apparently had a crush on him.

It was such a shock. I knew his boss was gay but I wasn`t expecting to bump into him there and of course I had to make polite small talk.

 

I was a bit drunk, so I asked them if D. ever mentions me. They both looked a bit confused and said `no`, so I think it is clear that D. hasn`t told anyone about the break up.

 

It was really horrible though as his boss told me that he had been out with my boyfriend THAT VERY NIGHT and had just left him to go to the club. Apparently my boyfriend was at some fancy ball and very very drunk. I don`t why but it just upset me to think about him out getting drunk without me and probably chatting up other woman

 

After they walked off I found my friends and just started crying in the middle of the club. I guess it was because they were the first of D`s acquantances I`ve seen since the break up, plus his job is a large part of the reason we split up.

 

I was REALLY close to texting him last night, but my friend took my phone off me lol.

 

It`s a shame because apart from that one encounter it would have been SUCH a brilliant night

[soalone]

Horrible. Lonley. Depressed. Empty. I really don't think I will ever be OK again. I just want it all to end.

[arwen]

Hey guys,

 

Great idea to keep track of each others well being during the weekends. I know weekends and holidays are really difficult after a breakup. It seems like the whole world is having a better time than you... however, I hope for you all that times will improve.

 

I am going to throw in a big cliche: it is going to be ok over time. REALLY. Believe me, I have been there... I really hope never to have to go through it again, but I know from the last times you heal really gradually.

 

Trust in yourselves. Vent here, we are here to listen and help!

 

A digital hug for all of you,

 

Ilse.

[Marko]

Well since I have nothing but anger and resentment towards my ex now, Im feeling ok. However, i still dream about her all the time, which pisses me off.

 

Im finally off today after working 14 hour days all week, so I have to catch up my laundry and maybe clean. My place is a pig-sty. maybe play raquetball later.

 

I hate bars for the most part as well. And shortly after I my break up, also took to NIN for a good 3 weeks. For the record, another fantastic angry break up album is "Gentleman", by Afghan Wigs. Great stuff.

 

im a little down today. Not really over her, but a little bit. I just really have nobody to see out here and Im so ready to just go back to Chicago, and forget all about this stupid state, forever.

[Jaela]

Hey guys,

 

well I finished cleaning my house yesterday, only to wake up and find some freshly dried rose petals strewn all over my bedroom floor. My two kittens had gotten into my flower basket and had a ball for themselves last night. Looks like it's back to vacuuming again this morning!

 

I'm about to treat myself to a nice warm bath. Then I'm going to exfoliate my skin and head to the tanning salon. They offer a great new 'Mystic Tanning' booth, a bronzing spray without all the harmful effects of actual fake and baking. I'm going to try it out and see how it goes. My pasty winter complexion could definitely use a fair bit of bronzing right now.

 

Ex hasn't contacted me at all this weekend, for which I am grateful. Now it's just a matter of trying to steer my mind off things. He has done so many hurtful things to me in the past, and it keeps me strong from trying to contact him. Every time I try to break away from this relationship with him, he manipulates me into coming back. I love him to death, but he has become so verbally abusive. The last time he pulled me in, he called me after being in a car accident and said it made him really think, and that he wanted to make things right and for us to have another chance. The problem is, things just never change.

 

Micwu, sorry to hear about your circumstances. I imagine that must have felt humiliating for your ex to respond as she did on the dance floor. Maybe you both need a bit more time apart before she is willing to talk?

 

Neverlearn, I should adopt your name as well. I keep getting sucked back in by my ex as well. I'm determined to put my foot down this time and maintain strict NC. The emotional pain just isn't worth it anymore. It's pretty rude for your ex to come to you for help, and then turn around and tell you to get lost. Hopefully this last experience will give you the integrity to keep this leech out of your life for good. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! Don't let others taint that occasion for you.

 

Edudlooc, great to hear you had an enjoyable weekend! You'll have to let us know what you did.

 

Fif Angel, I'm sorry hon. It sounds like you were having a blast until the encouter with your ex's boss. It's great that your friend was so supportive and confiscated your phone. It sounds like your friends care about your well-being a lot. Keep us posted on your progress. {{{Fif Angel}}}

 

Soalone, aww. {{{Soalone}}} I remember my first breakup from my ex, before we tried to make it work (again and again) It was on New Years Eve and I was so depressed, I cancelled some party plans and sat alone all night in an empty house. I've never cried so hard in my life. The pain was excruciating, and I thought it would never end. I really let loose that night, screaming and crying and pounding my fists into furniture. Strangely enough, after so much release, I felt a bit better in the morning. Please remember we are here for you if you need us.

 

Hi Ilse Thanks for stopping by. It's great to hear the perspective of someone who has been there, and survived.

 

Speaking of which, I'm going to put in my CD of "I Will Survive" and jump around in my bedroom like an idiot for a bit, lol. Big hugs to all of the brokenhearted this Sunday morning.

[soalone]

...

Soalone, aww. {{{Soalone}}} I remember my first breakup from my ex, before we tried to make it work (again and again) It was on New Years Eve and I was so depressed, I cancelled some party plans and sat alone all night in an empty house. I've never cried so hard in my life. The pain was excruciating, and I thought it would never end. I really let loose that night, screaming and crying and pounding my fists into furniture. Strangely enough, after so much release, I felt a bit better in the morning. Please remember we are here for you if you need us....

 

 

It just hurts so much. This is the second broken heart I have suffered. 4 years all for nothing. And I remember after my first it was not unitll I met my vurrent ex that I could except it. I don't think I will ever be able to love again.....and thats all I ever wanted to do......love someone else...

[brando]

we will all love again, but maybe we need to love ourselves more first before loving another.

 

Jaela, you have the right idea, spoiling yourself with the little things....enjoy the jumping around, and your not an idiot...

 

thanks for the hug...

 

be well to all.

[neverlearn]

Hi everyone!

My situation may seem minor, or maybe like a "no brainer", but it's far more complex than it seems, and extremely painful for me.

 

I've been asked to post my story and I may soon. Right now it just helps to read all the GREAT advice you guys give. Besides, I feel different this time around with my ex (as I should, I'm getting married next month, duh). This last stretch in prison has truly changed her (yea, prison, I know). I want her to be a part of my life as a friend for some strange and extremely strong reason/feeling. My head is saying: "Move on, man." My fatal flaw: I tend to lead with my heart. Drama.

 

@DN- I was not offended by your post. I took it for exactly what it was.

 

@edudlooc13 - Good looking out! I'm new here so it's good to have a friend.

=D>

 

ilse - a special thank you!

[arwen]

Hey all again!

 

Well, seems y'all survived one way or the other . I just wanted to add that the weekends can be of less dramatic nature when you plan something new in them on a regular basis. That way, the weekend will end up being associated with the great new thing you are doing for yourself rather than the things you miss doing with your boyfriend.

 

Haha when I broke up with an ex (that was a real sobstory, ugh), I became member of a students orchestra for strings. The rehearsal was on friday nights, we would go for beers afterwards and end up at home late enough to sleep the saturday away for half. 8) Anyway, I got back together with the boyfriend (Huge Mistake) and really wanted to quit the duties for the orchestra so badly. I didn't and stuck through until other reasons made me quit.

 

So it might be sensible to do something that requires some commitment but not too much LOL.

 

Ilse.

[Marko]

Im about to hijack this thread....

 

 

 

Since this thread is about venting and listening, i want to post here. Its kind of relavant, kind of not.

 

Im stuck here in florida, where I hate it, for about another 3 months. I LIVE WITH MY PARENTS!!!!

 

I want you all to know how good you have it, even tho you maybe feeling blue. Reading things like, "im gonna spoil myself w/ a long hot bubble bath", "im gonna jump around to music" etc. I want you all to take in what you DO have, your own personal space!! Feel good about that! Also I would assume that most of you are where you are (location) because you like it there. take that into account as well. Be happy for those things!

 

Crank that music, clean your house nude while skipping around, cook a big dinner and invite guests over, take that bath! Alone time is good, especially when it is in the comforts of your own surroundings. I wish i had that!

 

I hav to tough it out for 3 more months. the thought of returning home makes me excited and anxious, like I have somthing to live for.

[brando]

Marko your time will come. Besides, you said you were dating up a storm, what happened with that???

[alona125]

I have just been spending time with my family, and really reflecting on what I am feeling right now. Its only been a couple days since my breakup, but I am realizing that I would rather have this loneliness, than the feeling of hurt and deep resentment that I had whenever I went to my ex's.

 

Loneliness will eventually pass, we just have to experience it for a little while.

 

Would we rather feel a little lonely, than go through the verbal abuse, anger, and hurt we felt while we were with our exe's.

 

This is my first real breakup, but I can tell you, I just need to get through this first phase of the breakup, clear my mind up, then I will realize that I am way better off. I need to read all the posts from people who have gone through this, and tell us that it really does get better.

 

Keep busy, listen to music, go out with your friends, and it will be ok soon. Just think of all the bad times, rather than the good, and it helps.

[Fif Angel]

Hey Alona, yeah it is so true that time will heal.

 

Personally I really hate Sunday nights more than Saturdays. Just because it means the start of another week etc, one more week since the break up..

 

Marco I am at home with my parents just now and I hate it. I have had a lot of problems with them anyway but post breakup just makes it worse. Am desperate to get away..but it will be another seven months til I go back to uni. Hang in there (( hugs))

 

Lol I love this whle internet hug thing. The one thing I really miss about my ex is the physical contact, not just sex but hugging hi etc. I am a very tactile person and I really need at least one hug a day lol. I really miss it.

 

So hugs to you all xx

[Marko]

I have been dating quite a bit. All of a sudden I seem to be able to talk to women again, and its very comfortible.

 

Still, at 31, living w/ the parents is no place I want to be! And I am terribly homesick for my friends, hobbies and haunts in Chicago.

 

the last thing i want is to fall for sombody here once again, and de-rail my plan.

[lelou]

About DN's post. I am confused how it was offensive. It was just an honest outside opinion, and I don't know about anybody else, but that is why I come on here. I don't think he meant any harm towards neverlearn (he didn't even seem offended).

 

I think it is always good to hear more than one perspective. Just my opinion