Slow realization

[adviceplease2]

Posted my story on here before and posted about having trouble with handling my emotions since my pregnant girlfriend broke up with me in january.

 

Finally realizing that there was nothing serious enough....nothing that she got mad at me for that was serious enough to break up with me. Shes pregnant....she got mad...I get it.

 

She texts me when its concerning something with a doctor appointment or running tests....thats really all I should hope for and am thankful I do get that. Family keeps telling me they think she wants me to have nothing to do with the baby...but she does inform me about doctor stuff.

 

She knows I have custody of my three from my divorce...she for whatever reason called me on my birthday....she for whatever reason still has a picture of us together and happy on her facebook page....but nothing I did or didnt do would have caused a break up under normal circumstances.

 

I tend to be hard on myself and blame myself....but I honestly cant say that I am 100% to blame. Shes pregnant...I apologized for everything I could think of...it wasnt good enough....I now dont bother her. I sent her some things to help her as a pregnant woman....I go to ultrasounds...ive let her know she doesn't have to do this alone. Nothing is good enough for her. I get it.

 

There is honestly nothing I can do. I accept whats happened. ...ill love the new baby when she comes....ill love her as my baby's mother too. If she changes her mind when the baby is here....I might entertain the thought but im not expecting a change of heart. Ive begun making arrangements at my house....there will be room for them if she wants help....help id give gladly.

 

If she never changes her mind....ill still always love and provide for my new little girl.

 

Maybe one day I will meet a woman with whom I can have the kind of relationship I thought I had with my exgirlfriend. I dont hold out hope for that....especially after this woman absolutely has crushed my heart.

 

Teacher conferences at the school have made me realize im doing ok. Teachers love my three...great students...respectful...just regular kids. Made me emotional some after. After all this time me thinking im a failure....these teachers talked about my kids and said I have a wonderful family.

 

I will do my best to be a good father to my new baby too....despite her mother.

 

Thought id found a woman to share my life with....likely thatll never work out like I wanted but our baby will be cared for. I love you little girl...cant wait for your brothers and sister to meet you when you come. Wish your mother would come back to me...but its ok...im here for you always. If your mother and I can work it out I will try....if not you will always be cared for and provided for.

[kbbcoop77]

Ouch...sorry man. Be there for the kids that's all you can do. My wife bailed on me and my daughter when she was a junior in high school, she's almost done with veterinary assistant school and starts her externship soon while her mother is living her stupid life thinking she's a 20 year old again. But in reality I won because I have my kids! You'll be ok!

[Man with Dog]

For someone at the 2 month mark with a child involved, I think you are doing VERY will indeed!

[adviceplease2]

Man with Dog....I've had plenty of days/nights that I haven't done well. She changed suddenly, I was shocked at how she'd started talking to me, I know I took it personally, which then made her dig in more. We'd literally gone from planning on spending most of the week before Christmas together while the kids were on break to when the week arrived she was putting me off and putting me off, I was being nice and asking her to just tell me when she felt better that I'd like to see her......her first trimester was horrible, we'd gotten to where the talking during the evenings had tapered off basically because she was asleep. We live in separate houses.

 

I finally, after really not knowing what to do just told her that despite what was going on that I missed her and love her......her response to me started the break up. I got the old, 'what's going on right now'....to which I said "our lack of communication, our distance the last few weeks"......she let me know she was fine with how things were at this point that she couldn't handle the stress that came with me......which I assumed meant my kids. Ultimately ended with her telling me she was sorry that she ever contacted me in the first place...which she knew would hurt the most because she'd always told me how happy she was that I'd come into her life.

 

We were happy together, happy the baby was coming, then basically over the course of a week everything changed....and I still don't know exactly why. But, the baby will be born in a few months...I just honestly hope as this baby's parents that it doesn't get hateful. I'm pretty easy to get along with, I'd do anything for them. Just can't allow myself to blame myself for all of this anymore. I'm here, I've told her I'm here....would have loved to have been involved with her and be able to feel the baby kick and talk to the baby and all that....and I'm trying not be resentful that I won't have that.

[Man with Dog]

Sorry but your reply says a lot that I can relate to. She left emotionally some time ago. Quite often people do before the final split and it catches the partner out.