stress is making me ill

[starlight89]

I cannot cope with my parents dysfunctional marriage. It has gotten so bad that it makes me anxious and panicky and I can't deal with the stress anymore

 

I am 26, with my partner almost 8years, living together and have a baby. My life is stable, secure and healthy. We have a good thing built up and I am proud of my little family especially that I have not carried this dysfunction forward and have maintained strong.

 

But lately it is just crippling me. Every time they fight, they ring me, push it all on top of me and I am just so sick of it. Tonight I had an anxiety attack.

 

I feel done with my dad. He drinks, is an a**hole and I avoid him as much as I can but am close to my mum and I don't want to shut her out, although I do want to help her leave (but she needs to start helping herself).

 

I just don't know how much longer I can deal with this. I feel like everyone leans too much on me and then they are not here for me if I need support. Nobody gets or understands how I feel or how all this affects me.

 

I can honestly say I have no good memories of my childhood. Maybe I do but cannot remember because the bad times outweigh them. My dad was verbally abusive and shattered my confidence over and over again.

 

Each time I build myself up and try to do better or be better, I just feel like hes there waiting to smash me back down again.

 

I am cracking under all this and I try my best to be positive and happy and I generally bounce back very well but I am just so fed up with all of it.

 

I would love to move away from it all and start again. I keep hoping re-incarnation exists so I can have a better life one day.

 

I know everyone will say cut them out but its not that simple. It is hard.

 

Sorry for the rant. My mind is a bit muddled right now. I feel sick from all of it

[chitown9]

Do you live near your parents? I think I would work on my relationship with my Mom if I were you. Your father sounds like an alcoholic. You could start by attending Al-Anon meetings with your Mom. With time, your Mom may get the strength to leave him. The meetings would be helpful to both of you. I would support your Mom as much as I could and I would only accept phone calls from her also. :star: chi

[melancholy123]

If they are calling you to complain about each other then you have to set boundaries with them. When they start ranting tell them that you dont want to hear it and to please change the subject. If they keep on, tell them again and add you will hang up if they keep at it. If it continues say you have to go, and good bye and hang up. They need to learn they can't call you up and rant at you. Boundaries can make a big difference.