Having a hard time keeping relationships going/ unhappy

[katelyntal]

Hi all, I'm here because I need advice. I am a 22 year old female. I struggle recently with the feelings of being extremely lonely. I've had multiple relationships and flings over my college years and idk what to do about them because i just feel like i'm always left alone. None of my relationships last and i'm never the one to end things. Most of my friends have significant others who adore them and they get in fights and things happen but yet they are still there. I find that every guy i've dated has no problem leaving me and in the end they have found another girlfriend who they have been with since and i'm still here left alone. I just feel like no one cares enough about me to try or to stay around i'm just super easy to leave or the guy doesn't want to make me their girlfriend. Anyway i'm approaching the end of my senior year in college and i'm super worried I am never going to meet someone who will care enough about me and idk what i do to make these guys run when all my other friends can keep a guy around. I do have issues with one of my exes cheating on me and it messed me up for a while but now i just feel like i get down on myself because even the guys after him that i meet leave within 6 months or less. I have insecurity issues at times but i feel like everyone does. I just can't help but think I'm just going to end up alone and sad like i am now forever. I feel like I'm a fun person to be around but i know i am much happier when I'm with someone else. I get really sad when i'm around my friends who have boyfriends even though I'm happy for them. i want do bad to one day have kids and be happy and i know that relationships aren't all sunshine and rainbows and that its hard work but i feel like I'm the one who is always trying and always cares and i never get that in return. Any advice? or anyone who feels the same way?

[DoF]

People will respect you as much as you respect YOURSELF.

 

If you are getting sexual with people and have flings, this usually means you have very little respect for yourself and your body.

 

Your body is priceless and NOT to be given away easily. You need to stay away from intimacy and take time to get to know the person in order to have a healthy long term relationship with them.

 

Order of business # 1 for a female of your age in college, sorting boys from men and sorting players from long term relationship material.

 

Early intimacy prevents you from doing either one.

 

What I recommend is, INVEST TIME and get to know the person well. No sex until you know them well (which takes MONTHS) and until you are in a exclusive relationship.

 

Read up on Long Term Relationship and early intimacy. There is tons of cons to it.

 

Another reason why no guy wants you is because you have mostly been dealing with boys and players....not men. Good man will respect you, will want you and will hold off on early intimacy as well. Their goal shouldn't be to get between your legs, their goal shoudl be to get to know you as well and invest time.

 

Remember, every single boy/player out there will tell you EVERYTHING you want to hear and NOTHING you need to hear. It's the easiest way to get between your legs.

 

It's YOUR job to protect yourself and make sure they are not boys or players.....you are the gate keeper.

 

 

[katelyntal]

Thanks so much for your response. Great advice and yeah i do need to respect myself more

[Komorebi]

People will respect you as much as you respect YOURSELF.

 

If you are getting sexual with people and have flings, this usually means you have very little respect for yourself and your body.

 

...

 

Order of business # 1 for a female of your age in college, sorting boys from men and sorting players from long term relationship material.

 

Early intimacy prevents you from doing either one.

 

 

Sorry, but I don't agree... I was intimate with my current boyfriend the first day we met... If you are a sexual being that does not mean you don't respect yourself... It means you like sex. You can have a fling, but with someone who actually does respect you... I have had them, and remain friends with some of them to this day...

 

What you need to do is not take every guy you mess around with so seriously until you get to know them. When they show a genuine interest in you. Pay attention to the things you like and don't like... Take note of them and apply them to your prospects. There is nothing wrong with dating more than one person at a time. Keep your options open until you find the right person... And that also brings me to my next point:

 

Don't go searching for someone special... You can't force chemistry. You can't make someone want you the way you want them... In order to have a genuine relationship with someone, it must happen organically. Just relax. Watch a movie. Read a book. Focus on your studies. Intelligence is hella attractive. Someone will come to you, just like you will come to them. Be patient and be confident. There is nothing wrong with being single until you find the right one. You are still young. Be positive and have fun. Use this time to discover yourself and who you want to be and what kind of person you would want to be with. Best of luck.

[Komorebi]

I should have erased the "people will respect you as much as you respect YOURSELF." part, because THAT i do agree with.

[katelyntal]

thank you yes i do agree with this and yeah idk some of the guys i got involved with sexually right off the bat and others not so much and they seem to end up ending either way. The most recent guy I dated was the most puzzling we had mutual friends and we would hangout in the same friend group then one night we were all out(drinking) and we ended up sleeping together and i honestly thought nothing of it and didn't think we would end up dating. Then after that for about 4 or 5 months he would take me on dates and he was super sweet and nice to me. We would hangout all of the time and now all of a sudden nothing at all. I do always find myself focusing on finding "the one" and i do have pretty bad anxiety anyway so I'm always worried I won't find that one person who loves me for me. Majority of my friends have significant others so i think i get down on myself sometimes just because i'm always the od man out it seems. The one who is at home while everyone else is out with there bf gf. But anyway thank you for the responses it means a lot.