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I miss my ex-girlfriend so much, I don't know how to cope

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Last September both my girlfriend and I moved to our respective universities. Soon after we arrived the distance really started to take it's toll on me - I wasn't interested in studying or getting involved, I was just interested in when I would next see her. I began to become deeply sad, almost slipping back into a depression. At the same time 3 of her friends had just been cheated on, and she inferred from my coldness and distancing that I could be too (I would never)


To my detriment I struggle to communicate at the best of times, let alone when I'm sad, and to her credit she tried everything to reach out to me and I just became emotionally unavailable - I keep thinking about how the last time I saw her before we broke up she was sat on my bed in tears telling me how I didn't wan't her, and all I did was insist I did, all the while knowing I didn't have it in me to have a LDR.


Eventually I broke up with her, I broke her heart, I made her feel like nothing, I made her insecure - I was the first person she allowed herself to be vulnerable to and I threw it back in her face.


I was convinced that by breaking up with her I wouldn't have to rely on another person to be happy, especially one who lived far away (she was my first relationship and before her I had learned to enjoy being on my own) and for a short while it was true. But as time has gone on all I have done is dwell on how I had a beautiful talented ethereal girl that would do anything in the world for me and I squandered it.


And now she's moving on and I have witness it all through social media, through my friends and through friends of friends in bars and clubs - wherever I go. I can't move on, I tried so hard but I compare everyone to her, I can't even sleep for thinking of her. Getting back together isn't even an option, not only because she's moving on but also because I don't deserve her - she knew about my depression before we got together but she said saw something so special in me and she loved me for everything that I was.


I'm honestly so pleased she's moving on and finding hapiness elsewhere but I just don't know what to do anymore

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