BOthered by a close friend

[Ated]

a close friend of mine just got a job at my workplace... I do not know why, but it sorta bothers me! I mean, i dunno if im just being a cow about this, but i just feel like shes competing agianst me... like im only 17 and i got my rsa (responsible service of alcohol) and she was like 'oh really? how come ur only 17 right? thats not allowed!' bla bla and im like.. 'well i got it dindt i?? I just feel like she is competing with me for some reason...

 

 

And i feel rather suffocated. Like, she says im her best friend... but the thing is, im the only one making the friendship work. She only calls me when she needs help or advice or sumthin.,... And i told her about how i felt... And then i just feel all awkward now... i dunno. I dunno if this is even making sense...

 

 

*sigh* my head hurts!

[DN]

if you feel a friendship is going sour then just slowly disengage. Do it subtly by being less avalable when she call, keep the calls shorter, don't chat for very long, keep the conversations about impersonal things, be a little more distant, go out with her less and less etc.

[PrincessLinzay]

Unfortunately, I think we've all been in the position of being taken very much for granted. I think friendship is all about give and take. You should both feel like you're gaining something valuable. A shoulder to cry on, someone reliable and willing to help you in times of need.

 

Sometimes friendships are very one-sided, and it's at this time that you weigh the benefits and choose whether to let things slowly go or to attempt and make things work.

 

It's a difficult decision, but you're definitely not being silly for feeling this way.

 

Hang in there!

[Ated]

Thanks for the replies guys! I called her bf and she said that she is really willing to make it up to me. BVut the thing is, i've already 'switched off' the friendship, if you guys know what i mean?? Now i dunno what to do about her getting a job at my workplace. I feel that she is rather invading my space... i mean, of all places that she can apply at, why MY workplace? Maybe shes trying to see me more... I really dunno, but i just feel invaded and suffocated. And quite frankly, uncomfortable at the thought of her working the same place as me!! What should i do?? Tell her abou how i fee?? I mean, she kept saying how she really want this job and she wants experience as a waitress and stuff like that. So i dun wanna like tell her, oh can u look for anohter job cos i feel uncomfortable?? u know? I dun wanna break her feelings... To be honest, i am seriously thinking of maybe quitting just cos of it. Am i being silly?

 

 

Thanks again you guys.

[mt_joy]

I wouldn't quit because of her. You've been there longer. And at work, you're not really suppose to be socializing anyway. If she tries to start chatting with you at work, let her know that you are busy with your customers. Stop calling her and act distance when she calls you. She'll get the hint sooner or later. If you can, just tell her how you feel.