My girlfriend hits me..

[Bo3]

I wouldn't usually do this. But I really need to get something of my chest.. Basically me and my now ex girlfriend 'we've been broke up for about a week now' were together nearly 3 years.. Things we're amazing at the start! 3 months in she worked at a festival she come back like obviously I was really excited to see her! Within the hour of her being back we we're having sex. And she started crying.. I stopped and asked her what was wrong 'bare in mind this was about 2 and a half years ago so I'm fully over this now but I feel like it's the route of our problems' basically long story short she said some guy kissed her and it all happened so quick I asked her if she kissed him back and she nodded her head asif to say yes! I got really upset and asked her to leave. She was trying to tell me that she didn't mean to nodd her head and that they just literally touched lips then she pushed him away.. I don't get how she could nod her head accidently! I went to see her that night to get some things back.. When I was with her the guy from the festival messages saying you don't have to regret last night.. This caused a big argument and she ends up hitting me. After about a week we sorted things out and moved on.. What ever happened everybody makes mistakes like a get that aslong as you learn from them! Fast forward a year and a half 'by this point for faults of mine and hers she's probably hit me about 10 times' we we're on a break.. She was out at a party with her friends and I heard that she had gone upstairs with some guy to borrow socks.. Like to walk home in cause she was wearing heels.. Which Is fair enough like what ever.. The guy then told his friends and others that he slept with her when I found out I confronted her and asked her.. She's denied it and said he just tried to kiss her and she pushed him away.. Anyway I confront the guy about this and he admits to me that it did happen.. I find out he's gotta girlfriend and found out he was in a relationship with her around the time he would have slept with my girlfriend.. Anyway he ended up admitting to his girlfriend in the end that they slept together.. And my ex girlfriend still to this day denies it.. I just really want an outsiders view on what they think would have happened.. Like surely he wouldn't admit to his girlfriend that he slept with my girlfriend if he never? Cause that'd just be weird! I believed her anyway cause I love her.. Also I found out she had deleted a message on her phone from the guy she said she didn't sleep with saying not to tell me and it all escalated quickly. She then went on to tell me by escalated quickly she meant that he tried to kiss her. Honestly reading this back I feel like I'm blinded by love and I no it's silly. Fast forward about 4 months we broke up 'sorry I'm trying to making this as short as possible there's just so much to tell' we broke up for about 5 months.. I had a really bad time if I'm honest like I thought she was the love of my life and honestly I think she still is anyway during the period we had broken up she had met some guy and fell pregnant around April 2015. She had an abortion and we started speaking again.. Like this whole situation broke my heart. I was no saint either tho like I had a number of one night stands but this was all an attempt to get over her cause I didn't think she wanted to get back together with me ever! It was really good when we first got back together like it felt like the spark was back! But then we argued and she hit me.. And then something switched in my head and it was like how it was before all in all she's probably hit me about 20 times over a 3 year period. I really feel like I've missed so much out cause there's literally so much to tell. But fast forward to now we're not together.. When me and her was good it was amazing. But when we we're bad it was reallly bad. So here I am now.. we've been broken up about a week and I miss her so much and I'm struggling to let go.. Also during any argument she would always make me feel like I'm in the wrong but that's for another post haha! I said to her all I wanted was a break to try and figure things out so I could try and be the person she wants me to be to avoid these arguments but the past few days she's just been really of and doesn't seem to want to talk to me.. This happened last time when we broken up properly and I found out she was speaking to someone else while still telling me she loves me she was sending this other guy nudes and stuff.. There's literally just so much to tell. Anyway here I am. Like my confidence has been zapped out of me.. I'm unsure how to speak to people I rarely go out. I spend most of my time in my room the only times I do go out really are for work and to the gym. I'm not making out in perfect cause I'm 100% not but I really don't think I deserve to feel like this.. I don't think anyone does.. Basically I just wanted someone's advice on what my next steps should be.. I don't wanna fall back into the same state I was last time when we broke up cause I was a complete mess.. Ideally I'd love to be back together with her! I just no it's no the right thing to do.. Again I'm really sorry I feel like I've missed so much out.. But my minds all over the place I'm struggling to think straight. Thank you in advance!

[msbrunette]

Your girlfriend hits you? I would hit you too, for not using breaks/spaces between paragraphs.

Really? Way to go buddy.

 

+Bo3

 

I'm sorry for what you're currently going through. Never ever let someone put their hands on you, man or woman. I really have a problem with women thinking they can hit men because they are physically less stronger (usually) that is sincerely fked up. I understand that this must be a really hard time for you, whatever you do. Don't go back to this person. I'm aware you probably have your faults but hitting someone is never acceptable. She will not change until she realizes and understands she has a problem. Your self esteem is shot because you have put up with a degrading attitude for so long. You have to ask yourself why would you stay with someone who does that to you? Put your feelings aside for a moment and frankly ask yourself: do you deserve that? I don't know if you are thinking of getting back with her in the long run...if that's what you're thinking. Don't. Go no contact and stick with it as long as you can. A lot us here have ended toxic relationships we understand where you're coming from. Avoid speaking to her. She needs help and she needs to seek it herself. She has not been honest with you. She has lied and cheated on you. You deserve better. As soon as you understand and believe that you will start to feel better. She couldn't even give you a few days to yourself that she's already seeking someone else. It's control, manipulative and meant to sincerely drive you dependent of her in your life. You deserve better.

[Willywagtail]

Good grief, do you even need to ask whether she's worth continuing with?

 

She has sex with other guys, lies about it even in the face of direct evidence, she texts nudes of herself to guys and she hits you (a lot) - all the while professing that she loves you.... has she bespelled you in some way?

 

Hello? Hello? Is anyone home in that addled brain of yours? If you were a woman we'd all be saying, 'he's an abuser for f**ks sake leave!', and I'm not going to say any different to you as a man- she's an abuser, you need to cut all contact with her.

 

Apologies if I sound a little harsh, but I'm only telling you what you already know in your heart. Yes, you''ll miss her, yes it will be hard - but you need to break the hold she has one you and stop enabling her behavior by believing her lies. You can still love someone and not believe their BS you know.

 

Get yourself some counseling to understand why you put up with this behaviour from her for so long. It will really help you in your next relationship.

[CyntralTime]

One word... leave.

[nuttybuddy]

you have a toxic relationship with that girl. find someone else. that girl got pregnant by someone else then decided to abort the baby because she didn't want it. i don't care how hot she is, she's a cheater and a physical abuser if she is hitting you. some girls tap playfully, and i don't consider that a hit, but if she is punching and hitting so hard that you are sore or aching and even might have bruises, you need to stay away from her.

 

why do you want to have THAT in your life for the short life you have on this earth to live? think about it, even if you were to create a family, do you think a physical abuser is going to be a good role model for your kids?

 

stop thinking hollywood happily ever after romance. stop thinking that you "can't help loving her." that's just hollywood mumbo jumbo.

 

your relationship was doomed from the first break up you had with her. getting back and breaking up multiple times is NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.

 

meet someone else whom you can have a benign relationship with. even benign relationships will have arguments here and there, but it should never be like the one you described.

[Bo3]

Thank you for yoye replies everyone this really means a lot! I get what you's are saying 100% the thing is if I hit her.. Like I'd have her whole family at my door + the police! But cause it's the other way round it's just like I'm suffering in silence! Also I'm a competing ameature boxer so id literally loose everything! She knows this.. It's almost as if she's trying to push me. Thank you again! Honestly means so much

[agent1607307371]

This is an abusive relationship. You need to get out, and you need to see a therapist to help you recover. She is probably trying to goad you into hitting her, and you've posted that you know how much damage that would do to your life. Get out now.

[alc16]

I know how hard it is to leave an abusive relationship with someone you love.

 

Please follow everyone elses advice and leave.

 

That guy wouldnt of admitted to his girlfriend he slept with her if he didnt.

 

She was so irresponsible she got pregnant while you were on a break.

 

Its all a game to her...

 

Oh, and she hits you because shes a liar and a cheater? Leave as soon as you can, and don't look back. Its hard at first but with a good support system and netflix you can do it.