time with friends

[p26]

I am having a hard time with the conflict between spending time with my gf and spending time with friends. While I want to spend 90% of my time with her, sometimes I just want to go out with my close friends, who I don't see nearly as often as I did before we got together 1 1/2 years ago. Every time my friends (pretty much all guys) invite me to go somewhere so I invite her, but I find that I sometimes want to spend time with my friends WITHOUT her being there. I brought this up to her but she immediately got angry and basically thinks that I don't want her around. I think it might be easier if not for the fact that she has virtually no friends of her own. What could I tell her to get her to understand that I just need some time alone with my old friends once in awhile? Thanks for any advice.

[adidas7fire]

Wow, that's kind of a tough question. Have you been totally upfront and honest with her, stating that sometimes you'd rather just have a guys' night out? Yes, it may be tough if she doesn't have many friends of her own but if she is understanding, she would not make a big deal out of it. Then again, you are doing good in the fact that you invite her to come along with you sometimes but it's completely understandable that sometimes you just want to hang with the ol' gang. Having a relationship with a person and having friends shouldn't have to be an issue -- it should be more like you enjoy both and your significant other enjoys the time they have with you. Yes, you should take time to spend with just her and time for just friends. This is what makes a relationship healthy... there will be times where you NEED to be away from your girlfriend and vice versa. But just be honest with her and tell her that she shouldn't overreact. I hope this helps. Good luck!

[Double J]

She sounds possessive and/or needy. If I was in your shoes, I'd tell her that even though she's my g/f, she doesn't own me. I also like to have some days to hang out with my friends without having to have the g/f there all the time. It's good to have some independence to do other things, and she should understand that.

[Driftin Spirit]

Well c'mon you can't spend 100% of your social time with the same person, plus there are some hings that you want to do with just the guys. I know that my ex would get upset every time i went out with the guys so i had a choice one of them had to go the guys who i had known for 5 years or her who i had known for a year and well it was hard but she had to go think about it man you cant have a chick controlling you for the rest of ya time with her!