Meeting someone from the internet in person

[Dannysgirl]

I met my now husband online on a mesageboard. We clicked immediately and began emailing each other. After a year of emailing and IM and telephone conversations every night and swapping photo's we decided to meet having gradually fallen in love with each other.

However this wasn't as easy for us as it might be for everybody else as I lived in Britain and he lived eight hours flight away in Pennsylvania!

Some people might scoff and say 'How can you be in love with somone you never met?' But believe me it can and does happen. I fell in love with Danny's personality, warmth and his humour FIRST before there was any physical attraction involved and I think that is one of the reason's we have such a healthy relationship now.

When we met there wan an immediate physical attraction and things developed pretty swiftly from there. The ensuing year long LDR was very difficult but ultimately worth it in the end as we are now very happily married.

 

We both marvel sometimes at the risk we took in meeting in person as either of us could have lied about who we were but the risk was worth it. Please make sure that you trust the person in question before you meet them and know them well. Do take the usual precautions like meeting in a public place etc and let a good friend or family member know where you are going and how you can be reached so that they call call to check that you are okay.

 

Good luck!

 

Nia

[SPark]

Here`s what I recently wrote to someone else-

 

As far as the relationship starting online...online relationships are NEW and society hasn`t yet assimilated their meaning or potential. When you meet online you can talk heart-to-heart early on, without any outside trappings like age, location, finances, looks, culture or personal circumstances mattering. This is why people have such strong pro- or anti- reactions to online relationships...the people who are already seeing heart-to-heart tend to be very strongly in favor, while people who place a lot of importance on the outside trappings have an equally strong negative reaction. The truth is that an online relationship makes you a lot better-informed about your partner and their real life than you would probably be if you had met them in a bar or at church. So don`t worry...you guys were on the cutting edge, but your connection is real and true...it just might take some time for real life to be peaceful enough for you to bee able to build on that connection.

 

What do y`all think??

[TLC1971]

I dated someone I met oneline for a few months. I think chatting online is good, then a phone call or two to see if you click on the phone, laugh, good conversation, then meet in person. I have met quite a few guys that I have a lot in common with. And yes, the internet is a way to meet people you would not have met otherwise. I can do backround checks on the people I go out with. Anything weird pops up with that, I will not go out with them. I think that its smart if you can do it. I usually meet for coffee, see if there is sparks and then leave it up to them to call if they want. Then go out for a public "first date" you can usually tell if you like them by then or not. It is nice if they have a personal website to check out too.

 

On the bad side, there are guys you like, but they still have active profiles even when you are "dating" not a good sign.

 

I have had positive results so far, nothing strange or unusual.

[TIGRONETTE]

That stuff about mind games is something I can TOTALLY relate to

 

in fact, I's say go more for someone who seems more into sex (well not a perv, obviously, but someone with a 'no strings attached' approach)

 

that way, well either you'll just get laid once (which could be a laugh) or it may develop into something else, who knows...

[novaseeker]

Advice on this:

 

DO NOT commit to someone emotionally without meeting them in real life AND spending a good deal of time with them in real life (not a weekend here or there, a good chunk of days living together ... a few weeks at least if at all possible).

 

There are aspects of a person you cannot convey or receive by the means of internet and phone conversations and web cams and the like. All of these media are limited. It's not that the other person is deceiving you ... they may be telling you 100% the truth. That's not the issue. The real issue is there are real aspects of a person that you can only sense and can only convey in person .. no substitute for that at all.

 

So ... committing emotionally and investing a lot emotionally and so forth before you've done a "real life test" with someone is very, very risky business indeed for your emotional well-being.

[heathnoble]

The man I just met off the internet just left. He's from Germany and we talked for nearly three months, and then he helped me move from Idaho to Arizona, and we spent nearly three weeks together. So far, so good. He's a lovely human being and although things were VERY awkward at the beginning, despite the the three months where we grew very close online. I'm glad I didn't let him leave without the 'big talk'. Germans aren't big talkers and I needed some clarification as to how things 'stood' before he left. Now I know. And he's coming back as soon as he can. It was a lovely, amazing experience.

[2little2late]

Kind of a mixed bag. I met the person I want to spend my life with online as well as my truest friend. But I ALSO met a lot of jerks and crazies (yes, originally online and some then in person before knowing about the crazy).

[Capricorn3]

Thread is 8 years old. Closed.