how long for you?

[goddess23]

okay i was just wondering...i just wanna get an idea...see if there are any trends....how long does it take you to get over a serious relationship? i mean...if you loved the person, how long did it take for you to get over the person in the sense that you no longer "wanted" that person? ill put my answer from my last last love lol...it took me a good year at least...it was when i met my ex that i think i made a big step as well...but even without my ex entering the picture, it was a year....thanx everyone

[Mun]

It took me a year. Thank god it's over. I learned alot though, about myself and about relationships and that is golden.

[mermayd]

I hate to say it, but in the past I have been known to love and leave without looking back. I can be over someone (friends, lovers, whomever) in a matter of days or weeks without thinking twice. I hate that about myself, but I have abandonment issues. Working on it, I promise.

But my current relationship is different. I cannot imagine loving him the way I do and leaving without looking back the way I have before. If we were to end, I would anticipate it would take a good long while for me to truly move on. But to really not want him again? I dont think that would ever happen. I think I would carry his memory with me for the rest of my life. Which is huge...for me at least.

[Maynard]

I,ve just been living my first break-up and after 8month i'm not sure i'm over her yet

 

i think i'm only gonna know for sure when i see her again

[emma34]

well it's been three and a half months so far. definitely not even close to being over him (i was the dumper)...my estimation would be one to two years...or never.

[willdation]

I remember one time I had soo much trouble getting over this girl that I went out with for 2 years. The ONLY way I got over her was finding a HOTTER AND COOLER GIRL to go out with.

[tanned_production]

They say you should grieve a relationship for half the time you went out. For example, you dated 6 months, you should greive for 3.

 

I dont know if thats true, but maybe helpful?

 

Try going out and doing things for you! Like a makeover, shopping, things like that. Invite friends over, and just forget about it.

 

You dont NEED a guy to be happy

[PAdreamer]

For me it really depends on the person. In most cases I'll be a little off for maybe a few days, but I know in my heart that we just weren't mean to be and that someone better is out there waiting for me. There is one guy that I am still bitter about, but that's because he blames me for everything and continues to hold stuff against me and judge me, and I know he's wrong. We've been separated for a year and a half and he still gets unde my skin in that not-so-good way.

 

And if I were to lose Aaron, for ANY reason, I think it would take a long long long time for me to be okay again. I would always love him, but I believe that eventually I would heal enough to maybe look for love again. But I would mourn for quite some time over him.

[LuciaSeia]

I wonder if I have issues..or just a heart that I can turn on and off. I was with my boyfriend I thought I loved unmeasurably for THREE YEARS!!!...we broke up...that night I felt like I got over him.

 

 

I wonder what issues I have? I feel like it was the right thing to do, and have no regrets..just happy memories. Maybe I just cannot stand feeling pain? Neitchze says that pain is part of humanity and life, but I think pain should be a fleeting emotion...no use in wallowing in despair for tooo long. Life is shorter than you think.

[idontgetit]

9 year relationship.... 8 months and i've moved on- the first 5 months were horrible.

[PAdreamer]

Lucia, you might not have any issues. You might just be one of those people who doesn't hold a grudge and can move on easily. So many people think there's something wrong with that. But I don't see why being able to move on is worse than torturing yourself for months over something that really isn't the end of the world.

[sparkey]

After my divorce, it took about 8 months.

 

Last gf, maybe 3 months.

 

There is no set timeline to follow. WHen you have gone through the grieving steps, much like the death of a loved one. THEN you can move on.

 

Too many people wonder when they will forget their ex. Hate to say it but you NEVER forget. Learn to forgive them and more importantly FORGIVE youself. It is ok to love someone and when it is over, it is ok to not love them anymore.

 

Everyone handles things at their own pace.