How to move past this issue of mine?

[Heartbrok3n445]

I have a great relationship and it's by far the best relationship I have ever had. I have never felt love like this before.

 

My boyfriend reciprocates my feelings 100%. He tells me he loves me and all these amazing things and has never given me a reason to doubt them.

 

But yet I still do? I know my feelings for him are real, yet I second guess his. We had a conversation about it once, as he pointed out he feels like I dont necessarily believe him and I always second guess it.

 

He said if I could know how much he felt and loved me I'd never have a concern or doubt ever again.

 

We never really had a conversation about it again and it's never come up as an issue.

 

But for me, I don't know what it is, but I just don't feel it from him. It's not that I don't believe him or think he's lying. It's like I think its impossible for him to feel that about me.

 

It's hard because I'd love to feel like contentness of knowing your boyfriend loves you the same as you love him. And sometimes I feel like that but more often than not I just don't. Even though he's given me no reason at all to believe otherwise.

 

I don't want to bring this up with him because I just want to deal with it myself. But I don't get it?

 

Could this stem from my previous relationship? I was with my ex for over 3 years (18-21) and we had a terrible relationship although he'd tell me he loved me, etc then go behind my back or lie to me. The funny thing is I never even thought to question my ex. He told me he loved me and I didn't really think about it.

 

Could it be because this time I'm actually so inlove that I want to know its the same back?

 

My boyfriend said once that he thinks whenever I feel like we are getting too close I push him away to avoid getting hurt if this screws up.

 

We have such an amazing relationship and I think it could be that much more amazing if I could just let this personal stuff with me go.

 

Could it be insecurity because of how much I love him? Because I never had this with my ex.

 

Any advice would be much appreciated. X

[abitbroken]

It could be insecurity.

 

But I also encourage you to read The Five Love Language. Or at least look at the site. It could be that the way he is showing you he loves you is not the way you are wired to receive it. He could be showing his love through telling you that he does or fixing your bike, when you feel loved when someone gives you a lot of physical contact (outside of sex), or getting little gifts.

 

Also, how long in between your break up with your ex and you dating your current boyfriend?