how does one not get so attached?

[wanderer]

i've been friends with this girl for a while now, we went out on one date but after that she told me friend (who in turn told me) that she only likes me as a friend. i stupidly continued to think she might have liked me, but then two nights ago when we were going to hang out together, just the two of us, she calls her friend (who i'd never met until that night) and tells her to come hang out with us. it was pretty obvious that she was trying to set me up with this girl, and she admitted to it later when i asked her about it. i mean sure i was flattered. the problem though, is that i've already gotten attached to this girl who've i'd been friends with already. and of course, i'm paranoid about just giving up on her because i'm afraid that as soon as i do, i'll lose any chance in the future of going out with her again.

 

we did meet up with her friend, and she was pretty cute but she didn't talk to me much, much less her friends who were there, she just kinda sat in the car by herself. she made small talk and smiled, but overall i doubt she was interested, and i wasn't really interested because i'm still stupidly attached to the girl that tried to set us up. and ironically enough, i asked her about the girl later, and she said "i changed my mind", probably because she didn't want me dating her friend cause she says whenever she does that, the friend always hangs out with the guy instead of her.

 

i'm pretty confused. i don't know how to get unattached to this girl. i've know her four about 3 months, and we went out about 2 months ago. she told my friend that she only liked me as a friend less than a week after the date. that means i've had just under two months to get over her, but i can't, and i haven't even known her that long. i keep on clinging to tiny signals of hope from her, some of which are probably exagerated in my mind. what if i just asked her straight up what she thinks about me? should i try to meet up with her friend again? i could use some advice.

[MetallicAguy]

Sounds to me like you had a really bad date. Tell me what you did, it seems like it embarrassed her alot

[MetallicAguy]

Basically when she had that girl there that she was trying to hook up with you kind of seems to me like she wants to get you out of her hair and she doesn't want anything to do with you. She is embarrassed that you still like her and to me it sounds like she hates the fact that you still do. But hey what can I say its her fault she isnt treating you with a bunch of attention shes just playing hard to get without realizing it.

[wanderer]

that's the thing though. we hang out all the time and we have a lot of fun together. we go to different schools so i only see her on weekends, but when we hang out, it's like for 5 or 6 hours at a time. we go to different places and see different people but we're always together. plus, our date went well i thought. we talked the whole time, no awkward moments, and we had fun; and we were out for 7 hours, i remember! so we seem pretty close, which is partially why i'm so confused about her.

 

by the way, metallica rocks.

[MetallicAguy]

Oh yeah, sorry about the posts lol. But if you can't get her out of her head then its not going to help by keeping on trying to gain attraction with her. If you like her in large amounts you could wait like a year without talking to her or anything hopefully that horrible impression will clear up then you probably will have a chance with her. There is a method that gains attraction in women, I use teasing but some people call it Push/Pull at my High School. It works pretty good, I've used it myself and I've told other people about it and they have success in their relationships. Basically I think you should try teasing her after you give her some time to forget the bad impression. Hopefully for you it wasn't that bad that she'll remember it next year unless she has outstanding memory.

[MetallicAguy]

Maybe your too much of a nice guy? Are you manipulated easily? Like for example: If a girl asked for you to buy a drink for her would you be more than happy to do that for her? If so, your a nice guy. Women are totally turned off by this. Ever see those guys that are average-looking with those hot girls. It's not because of the cash or how they look unless it's Anna Nicole Smith lol. It's confidence. Basically they use Push/Pull this creates Sexual Tension. Women by instinct are attracted to this. This doesn't mean you have to be an a-hole but you have to have an attitude like you dont take crap from no one. And don't be afraid if she said that her favorite band is so and so and you say that they suck. nice guys will be like "oh there such a great band!" when you really don't like them women can sense this and there turned off by this. If you say it how it is you come off as attractive to her. So basically, how to attract women is easy, Teasing(playful), Manners, Good Appearance, Good hygiene, A positive outlook on life. I also heard from a friend of mine that it helps if you go out with other women because it makes women think your "mysterious". And an important thing dont EVER reveal too much about yourself don't pour yourself out to her because of your uncontrolled feelings for her. Anyway, yeah hopefully things work out for you.

[Double J]

I think you should pursue your friend no longer. When a girl gives you the friend speech, it's not worth it to convince yourself that things might change or whatever. The chances of that happening are usually very slim.

[MetallicAguy]

I've been in that situation, things didn't really turn out as Slim as you said. All it is is believing in yourself that you can do it. Winston Churchill said "Never, Never, Never give up."

[mandyglass]

Maybe she likes you very much, but is turned off that she knows you are interested in her... Makes sense right? I know when I was your age, it seemed I only went for the guys that seemed like they couldn't care less. That is really horrible and confusing but I guess it's like the thrill of the chase or something. I bet if you backed off and even showed interest in someone else for awhile, her attention might be drawn back to you.