to or not to? break up

[BlueCoconut]

I feel like breaking up with my girlfriend. Thing is everytime i think of it, I tell myself I could be messing up a great thing.

Reasons I feel like breaking up?

 

- - She loves me so much more than I love her...

 

- - physics aside, I do not feel excited by her presense... rather annoyed

maybe that is because I feel I have completely won her over, too quickly and too easily.

 

- - It is easy to be romantic, pleasureable and to make her happy. But I myself... as much as I enjoy sometimes the romance, in a way I feel bored.

What I am saying is in a way, I'm bored. Sure she is an older woman, and I have gained all my sexual experience from her. but...

 

 

I don't think I am ready to break it off, but the thought is quite often on my mind.

And then maybe, it is because I would rather concentrate on my studies than always have to take in consideration when will she be able to see me. ....

 

 

 

There is also the fact that she just came back a week ago;(my previous post) in part for me ; to Canada. I know in my mind, I do not see this relationship last forever. I thought I would feel different once she would be back but... do not.

[Breea]

It seems like you are unappreciative of her (even her sexual contribution) and don't enjoy the lack of challenge. In my opinion breaking it off sounds like the best thing for the both of you. It's not fair to keep the relationship going if you do not truly love/care for her and are not being sincere. Not trying to sound mean, just my opinion. Best wishes in making the right decision.

[marolua]

I agree with Breea about breaking up, you do not love her you just do not know what to do without her since you are still growing up, this is normal.

But I think you should tell her what you mean while breaking up, I can feel how she is gonna feel when you break up, do not forget breaking up is not the worst thing, but how you break up is very determinant in your and her further realtionships.

just a note: if she is the FIRST for you, don't expect to forget her immediately, it might be more difficult for you than for her.

[GettingOverIt]

Funny... (not ha-ha funny, but rather 'odd' funny)

 

If you were married, people would tell you to get counseling....

 

Since you aren't, they tell you to break up with her....

 

Honestly, I agree with breaking up, and it really sounds like you already have, really... You have in your heart and your mind, but not physically...

[Hope75]

I have to agree with other posters.

 

Unless you can see yourself putting in a tremendous effort to try and make this work for both of you, perhaps ending things is your best bet.

 

From your post you don't seem like you want to put in the effort, and that you are just kind of letting things ride and seeing what happens.

 

Your feelings for her have faded, and if you don't see that coming back for you than you are not being fair to her and beating the dead horse, so to speak.

 

Think about this long and hard, and try to make the decision that's best for both of you. Be fair to both of you.

 

Good luck with your decision.

[hecka_bekah]

I have no idea what she's like, but I can imagine her trying to make a lot of effort to be with you. My ex boyfriend was distant before we broke it off and he thought I liked him more than he liked me. What made it seem that way was because I had a feeling something was up and so I tried to make it work, but he already started to have thoughts of wanting to break it off. He didn't understand that I wanted his honesty first and foremost. But he didn't give me that.

 

Maybe it just seemed like I liked him more because I might have said and done a few things out of desperation to get an answer. It get's to the point where you do things just because you care about them as a person and don't want to ruin that bond of friendship. Indeed he did have similar feelings of attraction to me because we hit it off so well! I knew what he was capable of feeling. But he decided what we had wasn't worth salvaging. Maybe your girlfriend knows how much you liked her before and is holding on to that......

 

Also, the fact that we moved so quickly (including sexually) made me more attached to him because I was used to his touch. That wasn't good at all and hurt us both. Sexual activity means so much more to females and we don't realize how attached we are until after the break up. I have a feeling your girlfriend is very attached mainly because of the sexual relations between you two.

 

I can sense that she is a very kind hearted person who loves to give. She deserves honesty. Be honest with her now and don't wait until you absolutely want to break up and not give her a decent explanation. It's the best thing to do. Good luck

 

Rebekah

[annie24]

I agree with all the other posters. Esp. Hecka_bekah. Moving too quickly into a relationship can be the kiss of death. I can't speak for all women, but I get so much more attached to a guy if things more quickly physically. Guys, not as much so. Like you said, the "thrill of the chase" is over, you know you have her, and then it gets boring.

 

If you've lost your feelings for her and don't feel that spark anymore, than the nice thing to do is to break it off with her. It will allow the both of you move on.

 

Good luck!